ALL ABOUT THE AFTER PARTY

Bitches Ain't Shit...

2010-08-22T15:14:00.002-04:00

I've been playing this on repeat for the past few days and it still hasn't gotten old. Enjoy:

XOXO- Christine

"Because that shit is not cute..."

2010-08-04T15:31:00.001-04:00

This kid is fucking hilarious:

XOXO - Christine

"Meet me on the Facebook..."

2010-08-03T13:27:00.001-04:00

So. Awkwardly. Amazing.

Wow. Just...wow.

XOXO - Christine

Snooki the outlaw...

2010-08-02T17:25:00.002-04:00

Awwww, she's even adorable in her mugshots!

Fun fact? Right before Snooki was arrested for being drunk in public and/or disorderly conduct, she fell off a bike. Since the official video of the incident was removed for copyright infringement, here is a glorious reenactment of the blessed event:

Love it.

XOXO - Christine

"Theyyyy're heeerrrre...."

2010-07-29T18:13:00.004-04:00

I AM SO MOTHER F'ING EXCITED FOR THE SEASON TWO PREMIERE OF JERSEY SHORE THAT I CAN'T NOT PULL A KANYE AND TYPE IN ALL CAPS. SO. F'ING. EXCITED.

For those of you not quite up to speed on the lives and times of our seven* favorite tanned, (mostly) toned, and (occasionally) poufed guidos and guidettes, here's Gawker's guide to to everything you need to know to make the most of your JShore 2 viewing experience on this fine evening.

Best part of the guide? When talking about JWOWW's love life, Gawker states the following: "Last season she had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop her from touching DJ Paulie's D."

Priceless, especially since Pauly's D piece is pierced. No really, it is, and it's horrifying.

Also, there's this (watch the whole this to see the infamous Snooki punch):

And this:

And, for those of you who want to see the Snooki punch from every possible angle:

*Please note that I said "seven" above. This is because Angelina is not tanned, toned, or poufed, nor does she count as anyone's favorite anything. Just keep in mind that she pretty much sucks and you'll be a-okay.

I can't fucking wait.

XOXO - Christine

In honor of JShore 2, premiering this Thursday!

2010-07-26T21:19:00.003-04:00

So, my good friend Lee totally spotted the Jersey Shore crew filming season 3 in Seaside Heights this weekend, and I am BEYOND jealous, though perhaps this will make up for it....

Jesus I love these crazy kids...

XOXO - Christine

MA Men 2 - Hilarious

2010-07-22T12:28:00.001-04:00

Even better than the original spoof on "Mad Men." Enjoy...

MA Men 2 from Joey McIntyre

XOXO - Christine

"I was born to bro-out!"

2010-07-22T00:37:00.000-04:00

Hilarious.

Brostitute with Tim Roth from Tim Roth

More to come tomorrow kids...

XOXO - Christine

"I'm on a horse..."

2010-07-16T12:18:00.006-04:00

Ohhhhhh friends, do I have a fab-u-lous Friday afternoon story for you! While I'm writing it up in this here blog for you, please enjoy the following internet selections to keep you boredom at bay:

1. Isaiah Mustafa, aka the Old Spice man, as your voicemail greeting. And a link to his very intriguing Wikipedia page.

2. In addition, here is the just-released trailer for the movie, "The Town," which was filmed on location in Boston. As a resident of the North End, I often came home to flyers taped on my building with detailed filming schedules of when and where they'd be having car chases and errant explosions, and not to freak out when there was a large boom and a car speeding away. Fun facts? the building they pretend is a bank is actually a very nice and nearly brand new laundromat, and the street the cars speed up throughout the trailer? That's Margaret Street, where I lived when I first moved to Boston three years ago.

Also filmed on Margaret Street? Try the Boy Like Girls video for Hero/Heroine. I was actually home that day (a hungover Sunday) and heard this ridiculous hipster singing the same song over and over again. I was finally so annoyed that I threw on some real people clothes (aka not my dress from the night before), and stormed out of my building, smack into a massive video camera on a rolling track. I apologized to the guy behind the lens and wandered off to run some errands before returning and realizing that this wasn't some no-budget student film being taped. I mingled with the band for a bit, which was fun because I'd never heard of them and wasn't THAT fangirl. It turns out that the lead singer was sick and downing dayquil like is was his job, and he was just as unhappy doing 32 takes as I was listening to him. Overall, he was a very cool guy and the band couldn't have been nicer.

If you watch the video, look out for the scenes with the cab parked on a slight hill where the lead guy is saying goodbye to his girlfriend, because that's Margaret Street again! Very exciting stuff.

Anyway, that's it for now if I have a prayer of getting Wednesday night's ridiculousness posted before you all clock out for the day...

XOXO - Christine

Simultaneously hilarious and sadly true...

2010-07-13T00:11:00.002-04:00

Jenna's "Whoreover," via dlisted:

Hope you guys had great Mondays!

XOXO - Christine

Tom & Jerry

2010-07-09T13:51:00.005-04:00

So, as I mentioned in a recent post, Tom (which I guess makes me Jerry), has reappeared in my life as of late, which reminded me that I never told all of you about our second run-in at Shaw's...oh yes my friends, there was indeed a second wrinkle in the story.

Brief summary of the saga up until run-in #2 for those of you who missed the entire thing:

Last December, I went out with a boy named Tom from Match.com, and we had the best date of all time. We met up and had dinner at the Lower Depths before going to The Script Concert at the House of Blues, after which we shut down Jillian's. During the two weeks following the date, Tom and I chatted pretty much daily, and he told me that he was excited to hang out again. And....then he fell off the face of the earth.

I was furious, but eventually got over it...until I ran into him when I was grocery shopping with Ali. We talked for a bit, worked things out, and he told me that he'd begun exclusively dating a girl that he started seeing around the time we met. After a bit, we decided to part ways, and he told me that he was "happy that the lines of communication were now open."

A week or two later, I shot him an email thanking him for recommending a website to me (universalhub.com), to which he never responded. Seething mad and feeling duped, I waited a week and then sent him a text message saying, "Glad to see you were so sincere about keeping in touch..."

The very next night, Ali and I found ourselves back at Shaw's, and imagine who I looked up to find right in front of me in the produce section? Yup, you guessed it.

I looked him in the eye and before he could say anything I (basically) yelled, "Hey Ali, this is the boy who doesn't know how to respond to emails!"

He looked at me blankly and then shouted back, "You don't know my life!!"

If our words had been silverware....haha

At this point, Ali took it upon herself to leave the banana section of the store and let us hash it out ourselves. As it turns out, Tom and his girlfriend had traveled to Portsmouth, NH, the weekend before to celebrate Valentine's Day and had nearly died in a freak carbon-monoxide accident at the hotel. Sadly, their relationship had not survived the incident...

Like last time, we talked for a little while, and when we were done, he said, "who knows, maybe I'll facebook friend you." I said sure, but didn't really believe it would happen after our last run-in and what he'd said about wanting to keep in touch, so I brushed it off and felt good about our "encounter" as what it was, just a chance run-in that provided some answers.

Cut to a few weeks ago, when I opened up my gmail to find a friend request from the man himself. Since then, we've spoken a few times and reminisced about the lovely times we spent verbally sparring in the checkout line/produce section. The other night, I needed his take on my date from last week (more on that in the next post), and gave him a call. He provided me some excellent insight, and then told me something fascinating...

Apparently, his younger sister had a radio show in college (she graduated this past May) and after we went on our date, he sent her a link to my blog. After the first Shaw's incident, she had two comedians on her show, one of whom is a (likely) closeted gay guy, and they did a dramatic reading of my initial blogpost about Tom. He told me that they'd actually asked for my contact info so they could have me call into the show and ask me random questions, as some form of character study, but he told them it would be a) too invasive and b) too fresh since the incident had JUST happened. I'm not gonna lie, I wishwishwish he'd caved to them, because I would have LOVED that.

Anyway, it's great to be on not only speaking terms, but actual "I need your advice, call meeee" terms with both Tom and Jim. I feel like as much shit as I've put myself through in the past few years, in terms of loving and dating in the city, I've managed to surround myself with a great group of friends, and some former love interests, who seem to always have my back, and I really think that's no small feat. When things happen in my life, especially with regard to guys, I tend to have a lot of very strong emotions (anger, sadness) for a few days, during which I lean heavily on my support system, and then I'm over it. This is something that you'll see evidenced in the next post, in which I discuss my date from last week...

Back in a few.

XOXO - Christine

Jacob Black, still a WILF...

2010-07-09T13:26:00.006-04:00

Hey friends! Hope you guys all had lovely fourth of July weekends! I spent some time with my extended family in Maine and then a few days with family friends at my lake house. All in all, it was a really fun and relaxing weekend.

Upon my return to the city, Ali dragged Lauren and I, kicking and screaming (okay, so maybe we went willingly...), to see Twilight: Eclipse. As someone who's pretty anti-Twihardness as a whole, I have to say, I very much enjoyed it, though I think that was mostly due to a certain werewolves expertly sculpted abs...behold the glory:

Oh heyyyyy...

That's interesting, these jorts actually extend past his knees....could they be...real, live jeans?

The fact that I don't even like super ripped guys in real life is a testament to how dreamy Taylor Lautner's become since his early brush with stardom as a member of the rival family in "Cheaper by the Dozen 2." Oh yeah, I went there.

Honestly though, I still don't understand why anyone would pick Edward over Jake. I mean, forget the guys themselves, and let's focus on their families for a second. Sure the Cullens glitter in the sun, but they don't seem like very much fun, what with their errant visions and constant vigilantism. The werewolves on the other hand...now they're my kind of people. Bonfires, ghost stories, and running willy nilly through the woods? Morphing from hot, tan menfolk to big, beaslty werewolves? Sure trumps Edward, who seems to just morph from a glittery emo kid to even more of a pasty pansy.

Anyway, if you're a lady (or the gay), then I highly recommend you go see this cinematic "masterpiece" asap, if only to gawk at TayTay for two glorious hours and, you know, see what all of the hype is about. Go HERE if you'd like to read last November's review of/reaction to "New Moon," with even more pho-tos of this hottiehothottie.

Enjoy!

XOXO - Christine

Happy 4th of July weekend everyone!

2010-07-02T21:11:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow morning I'll be heading up to Maine and NH for sun and fun-filled weekend with some of my favorite people. To get ready for the awesomeness to come, I've been listening to the following songs on repeat...please enjoy a glimpse into my summer mix:

Hope you guys have a great time this weekend, whatever your plans may be!

XOXO - Christine

Oh technology....

2010-07-02T10:43:00.005-04:00

Hey friends, hope everyone's as pumped as I am for this weekend! I keep playing this song on repeat, since it's so summery, with it's talk of sharks and water and whatnot...enjoy:

Also, as you can see from last night's drunk post, I clearly need Google beer goggles on every piece of technology I own/website I frequent....thank god I will be in the lake/on the beach all weekend and won't feel the urge to drunkenly talk to EVERYONE haha.

Unfortunately for you nosy friends, I've since deleted the date photo from last night's post, mostly because a) it was not flattering and b) drunk me apparently doesn't respect privacy, but sober me does. To make up for it, here's a photo of the view from our seats at Fenway, thanks again to Teague for the tickets:

Loge seats behind home plate? I'll take it.

Okay, I think that's about all I had to say on this fine morning...only a few hours and a trip to IKEA separate me from a weekend full of sun, fun, family, and friends!

See you kids back here in a few days...

XOXO - Christine

I love my life, slash I am awesome 2.0

2010-07-01T22:50:00.012-04:00

FYI, I am shitfaced. This is what happens when you meet up with your friends at 7PM for some $3 per drink triple-fisting action.

Things I have done/realized in the past four hours:

I drank 4 Coors Lights and then remembered that I am awesome (Editor's Note: Don't worry, I never actually forgot that I was, but the degree to which I am a ridiculous human being just happened to hit me around this time).

I may or may not have hit on a member of the Babson class of 2011. In my defense, he was wearing plaid and looked at least 23. (Editor's Note: This was a pretty hilarious exchange. He was wearing a plaid shirt and was furious that I called it flannel. He then proceeded to make a random girl and I pet it, tricking us into hitting on him. Cool times.)

I FB chatted like 17,000 (okay, three...) people and uploaded a bunch of awesome photos after taking down many beers and talking on the phone with Tom of Script fame about our respective new jobs. (Editor's Note: FYI, Tom friended me the other week and we've been chatting occasionally, mostly because we're in the same field and partly because we always did have great talks. Apologies for not mentioning this sooner. Also, Jim and I had a lovely convo and I'm glad to see that we can be friends.)

Today was awesome and I am beyond excited to spend the next two months prepping for the fall, hanging out with my friends, and enjoying the gorgeous weather. Things are good, and despite the craziness of the past year, I'm happy and pretty thrilled about life in general.

Jesus I'm a great speller when I booze, slash ALL the time haha. I'll be back tomorrow to post some pre-fourth of July items. Have a lovely night my little loverfriends!!!

XOXO - Christine

Insomnia finally pays off...

2010-06-30T03:29:00.002-04:00

These videos are both awesome, for entirely different reasons. First up? Lil Wayne's "Knockout," featuring everyone's favorite, Nicki Minaj:

And, without further adieu, Enrique Iglesias's "I Like It," featuring Pit Bull and the cast of Jersey Shore. Unbelievable.

Alright, time for bed!

XOXO - Christine

Music Monday

2010-06-28T17:42:00.004-04:00

Until a few days ago, I had never heard of the Silversun Pickups, but now it seems like they're everywhere, including the WFNX Clam Bake that I opted out of in favor of a lake weekend with the girls. According to a guy I know who went, they were "amazing." After some rooting around on these here internets, I've decided that the following is my favorite song of theirs:

Next we, predictably, have "Billionaire" from Travie McCoy, in which he takes shots at ex-girlfriend, Katy Perry, in the line "it's been a few months since I've been single, so you can call be 'Travie Claus' minus the hoho." Brilliant.

And, just because it's summer:

Alright, I'm off to see "Grown Ups" with Ali and the boys!

XOXO - Christine

Christine explains it all.

2010-06-28T16:01:00.005-04:00

Helloooooo friends!

So, I was just sitting on my balcony, perusing my normal blogroll and enjoying the delicious heat when I came across the following post on "Hyperbole and a Half":

T his is Why I'll Never be an Adult

In case you don't feel like reading the entire post, or laughing at the incredible illustrations accompanying it, the basic point is this: Life is full of responsibilities, and when too many of them stack up, people our age tend to shut down and procrastinate instead of tackling the tough stuff. This is exactly what I've been doing for years, and it's the worst habit I have. I've been working hard to change this, and become better at handling life in general, but I sometimes struggle when there are too many moving pieces involved.

For example, I began this blog in December 2008, when I was extremely single and genuinely loving it. Over the past year and a half, I've evolved from a young twenty-something who loved getting wild and making poor choices, to a slightly wiser 24-year old, who still loves to party, but is ready to end wild nights with one good, solid guy.

Since its inception, this blog has detailed the majority of my successes and failures, mainly in the romance department. While this isn't a problem when I want to rant about a particularly awkward encounter, or gloat about an awesome date, it becomes significantly more complicated when I begin to see potential in someone.

Should I gush about how great they are, only to be embarrassed if things go awry? Should I go back and edit my older posts so that the boys I date don't have to read about my old man friends when I eventually show them the blog? Am I willing to give up the cathartic release I feel when I write in order to make an attempt at a blog-free relationship? How important is this blog to who I am, at the core, and how early should it be revealed? Is it a breach of trust to blog about someone I date without telling them?

These are the questions that have stopped me from posting about the random Coast Guard boy I made out with a few weeks ago, or the Irish boy that I dated at the beginning of June, or any of the new guys that I see potential in right now. This isn't to say that this blog is all about boys and potential relationships, because my day-to-day life is focused on everything but (landing a job, getting in shape, enjoying the weather), but it seems like the majority of my stories revolve around the hot mess that is my life, and I honestly don't know how appealing that makes me to someone who's interested in dating me, and therefore taking me seriously.

See, life is complicated! Alright, it's time for me to sign off and tackle some tough stuff so I can get back to blogging later....

Until then, as always,

XOXO - Christine

Genius.

2010-06-28T12:28:00.002-04:00

Dear god I hope this is eventually made into a full length movie...

Tourist Attractions - watch more funny videos

Also, this amuses me:

CARPOOLIN' - watch more funny videos

And the outtakes:

CARPOOLIN' - The Outtakes - watch more funny videos

XOXO - Christine

LET'S GO CELTICS! BEAT LA!!

2010-06-17T17:48:00.008-04:00

Apologies for going dark the past two weeks. Quick life updates: I went on four first dates the week before last. Felt very blah about three of the guys, have continued seeing the fourth, who is pretty awesome and from Ireland. Am still match.comming and will let you know how that goes. Have also been going to Sox games (3 in the past two weeks!), and saw "Get Him to The Greek," which was fucking hilarious.

Now, please enjoy this incredible Game 7 pump-up video:

More to come tomorrow/Saturday, once I recover from the madness that will be the Game 7 shitshow tonight! Bring it Lakers.

XOXO - Christine

Brand Spankin' New RHONY Parody!

2010-06-07T12:01:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday Bitches...

XOXO - Christine

Happy Friday!!

2010-06-04T00:54:00.002-04:00

Please enjoy this awesome rendition of Rihanna's "Rude Boy."

Be back later this weekend to post some life updates!

XOXO - Christine

Summertime = Awesome!

2010-06-03T10:11:00.004-04:00

So.....I won't be posting any life updates today because my best married man friend, Odd Job, just called and invited me to this afternoon's Sox game! I haven't seen him in forever, so I'm pretty pumped, especially considering how ready he looks for some awesome Sox action:

Love it. Will tweet some photos from the game, but until then, and until tomorrow, kisses for all of you and get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather!!

XOXO - Christine

Good news for you...!

2010-06-02T17:24:00.003-04:00

Jim and I just spoke, and things between us are officially dunzo, which means that I can now post all of the shit I didn't during our break for fear of making the break up permanent. Now that it is....I can let you all in on a few very juicy stories!

Right now I have to shower up and head to Erin's bday dins, but come tomorrow afternoon, get excited for some epic posting about my love/sex/booze? life!!

Until then, here's a video of Conan O'Brien playing with Vampire Weekend to make up for the lack of Music Monday this week...enjoy!

XOXO - Christine

Music Mondays, Round 2

2010-05-24T22:16:00.002-04:00

Weekend recap coming soon; enjoy your Music Monday for now and I will update when I can!

Current obsessions:

Mumford & Sons, "Little Lion Man"

M&S with "Awake Your Soul" Live

For the times when you want to yell along in your car:

30 Seconds to Mars aka Jared Leto's band with "This is War"

Old News:

MGMT's "Time to Pretend"

Glasvegas with "Geraldine"

Passion Pit (out of Boston!!) with "Little Secrets"

Love you alllll, and be back soon!

XOXO - Christine

I Love Bill Simmons

2010-05-22T20:50:00.003-04:00

Via the hilarious sportswriter's @CelticsChants Twitter account:

Love it.

Have fun tonight my bunnies!

XOXO - Christine

Best. Discovery. Ever.

2010-05-22T17:10:00.009-04:00

This just made my already-awesome-even-though-I'm-exhausted-and-still-hungover-from-last-night day!!

Behold the glory that is daytripsociety!

Is it possible to be in love with a website? Because I'm pretty sure I am...

FYI, the following items are on the table as potential future bday/christmas/you-are-awesome gifts:

A fictional graphic novel about Bigfoot's life, from his perspective? Yes please!
Serving tray.Nautical plates.LOVE these.

Made from a recycled sail.

Definitely could have used these today.

Anyway, that's it for now friendlies, can't wait to update you all tomorrow about whatever shenanigans we get into tonight!

XOXO - Christine

"I want to deboard your crazy train..."

2010-05-20T23:48:00.011-04:00

This is mother effing hilarious: (Via HNTDO)

How to Dump Online: Email

Subject Line: ~~I’ve Notified Law Enforcement~~ Good Memories

Dear Tabitha,

I’ve been doing a lot of ~~heavy drinking~~ thinking, and I ~~want to deboard your crazy train~~ don’t think we should keep seeing each other. I really like ~~your apartment~~ you and I’m obviously very attracted ~~to your roommate~~ you, and in a lot ways I ~~am baffled as to how you manage to function daily on even the most basic level~~ we match well, but I just can’t see myself ~~watching you pick lint off your sweater and eat it again~~ staying in a relationship here.

It’s a very ~~specific~~ general feeling, more based on ~~the incident where you shoved the prongs of a fork under your thumbnail until it bled without comment~~ where I am in my life. It’s ~~easy~~ hard to explain, and I guess I needed my recent vacation to ~~hide from you~~ figure things out, but I really feel like it wouldn’t be fair to keep ~~boning~~ seeing you ~~after i found the dead racoons in your freezer~~ if that’s the way I’m leaning. I feel like if I don’t make this decision now, ~~my life will be at risk in the very near future~~ we’d both get more and more emotionally invested, and yet I’d still feel like I’d need to ~~probably move out of state~~ leave, and then it would be much worse ~~for my physical safety~~.

Just to be clear, this has ~~everything~~ nothing to do with ~~everything~~ anything you did or ~~definitely did~~ didn’t do. You’ve ~~caused my very soul to shudder~~ been great in all ways, and I really did ~~recoil in disgust~~ enjoy getting to know you. Believe me this was ~~a prudent~~ not an easy decision to make, and it’s not one I made ~~without first securing an order of protection~~ lightly either.

I wish you ~~were locked up~~ the best - you’re ~~on your way to a 72 hour involuntary psych hold~~ brilliant, every idea you have is ~~born of some deeply seeded psychosis~~ pure genius! You’re ~~beyond drug therapy~~ hilarious yet ~~curiously allowed to roam free~~ sensitive, ~~tolerably attractive~~ cute yet ~~bangable~~ sexy also. And you could win gold in the ~~crazier than a sh*thouse rat contest~~ kissing olympics. Please don’t ~~call me~~ hate me, and I hope ~~you are very far away very soon~~ understand.

~~I’ve already changed my name,~~ Best of luck to you in all that you do,

-~~Formerly~~ Max Smith

Also via hownottodateonline.com....

This looks like approximately 30% of my Match.com interactions. Like this one. Remember?

Lazy-eye: NICE LEGGS

Me: Great pick up line...not creepy at all. P.S. No thanks.

Lazy-eye: miss picky on the internet? LMAO

Me: The last thing I need in my life is a 41-year old man who doesn't understand the proper usage of capitalization. They're called standards, and, shocker, I have them; in fact, most girls my age do. Good luck finding a 21-year old "4 FRIENDSHIP AND SOMETHING REALLY COOL."

Good times.

Happy almost Friday!!

XOXO - Christine

Music Monday Update

2010-05-17T23:07:00.004-04:00

Because I forgot to write about The Big Pink, but couldn't wait until next Monday to share my love for their song "Dominos."

And "Too Fake" from Hockey, via JDubs. I told you my man friends were good for something!

Seriously heart you all.

XOXO - Christine

New Feature = Music Mondays!!

2010-05-17T20:49:00.006-04:00

Welcome to your very first Music Monday my friends! Those of you who know me personally know that I have extremely eclectic taste in music. The playlist I'm currently listening to is a mix of dirty rap, country, love songs that alternately make me smile slash want to die inside, and, of course, Vampire Weekend. In addition to loving a variety of music, I also tend to discover certain songs before everyone else catches on to how great they are, like La Roux's "Bulletproof," which I've loved since it came out last year, but is only now getting major radio play.

In that spirit, I'm going to start posting music recommendations and videos each Monday for your viewing/listening pleasure. Some of it will be brand spankin' new, some will be old school, and all of it will be awesome in one way or another. I'm basically going to post whatever I've been awkwardly blasting as I zoom around the city with my windows rolled down, and I hope you love it as much as I do!

Enjoy....

This week, I'm recommending 16 songs that have been in heavy rotation on my itunes. Just because it's been gorgeous out lately, I'll begin with Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk," off their self-titled 2008 album, and "Cousins" and "Giving up the Gun" from their most recent album, "Contra." See "Cousins" below:

If you love Vampire Weekend like I do, then you'll probably also enjoy Pheonix's "1901" and Gyptain's "Hold You," which is my top cruising-around-the-city song at the moment. You should also check out Black Kids, specifically "I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance with You," anything by MGMT, and if you must, Sleigh Bells, though I think they're a bit overrated at the moment. Here is Pheonix, live on Letterman:

Bob Sinclair's "World, Hold On," might do the trick for you as well, but I have to be honest and say that I much preferred his smash hit, "Love Generation," which was the theme song to my senior year of college. Alright, fuck it, I'm offically endorsing "Love Generation" over "World, Hold On," but I'm too lazy to change the playlist, so....deal.

Moving right along....if you're a country music lover, then I'm probably not telling you anything new when I recommend the Zac Brown Band's "Toes," but summer is upon us and I couldn't resist adding it to the playlist. On the country front, I've also been loving "Gimme That Girl" by Joe Nichols, the same guy responsible for "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off." Compare and contrast below:

If you're a fan of the hot mess that is Ke$ha, then you'll love her latest singles, "Take it Off" and "Your Love is My Drug." Favorite line? "So I got a question, do you want to have a slumber party in my basement; do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum; is my love your drug?"

If you're in the mood for hip hop, then definitely check out "Beamer, Benz, or Bentley" by the comeback kid, Lloyd Banks. Best line? "She always ready, to give me that Becky. Last time it was so good I almost crashed my Bentley." I like to think that I'm up on the latest lingo, but what the fuck is a Becky? A new name for a blow jay? So strange.

I can't not mention "Airplanes" by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams from Paramore, because it's just so damn good for shouting along (or interperetively dancing) to in the car.

On that note....I'm still pissed that I never bought tickets to this year's SummerJam. Perhaps a little Jason Derulo will cheer me up?

Yup...that definitely did the trick!

Next up we have Trey Songz, with "Neighbors Know My Name," which should be added to everyone's sex mixes ASAP. The video is hot, but involves a tub of milk, which is just a tad too awk, even for this blog.

My final recommendations are best suited for those times when you're either crazy happy and want to fully embrace it, or for the times when shit is so bad that you just need to wallow for a while. Enter Colbie Callait with the epically depressing "I Never Told You."

And Angel Taylor, with the slightly more cheerful, "Like You Do."

Whew, that was a lot. Next week I'll probably only be recommending a few new songs, but I figured I'd start Music Mondays with a bang. I hope you guys enjoyed my random assortment of songs and I'll be back soon!

XOXO - Christine

Life is good today....

2010-05-14T20:32:00.003-04:00

So.....I officially have my masters degree. Yay me. In order to celebrate, I am going to get rip-roaring drunk tonight and try not to make any inappropriate phone calls or make out with any half-black gangster wannabes at the bar. Because, you know, that's never the goal.

In that spirit, here is a verbatim conversation that Anna and I just had regarding this weekend:

Anna: I don't want to go out.
Me: That's fine, but do you want me to throw some champ on ice for you?
Anna: But why? I don't want to go out.
Me: Well, I dunno, I mean, I'm crushing PBRs...
Anna: Why?
Me: I don't know, because I had a long week, the Bruins are on, and I need to celebrate getting my masters...?
Anna: Wait, but I thought we were going out tomorrow night!?
Me: Yeah, I'm going out both nights. Summer Christine is back baby!
Anna: Oh god...OOOH GOD.

And in honor of these momentous occasions (graduating; return of fun me) I give you the Zac Brown Band, because this how I feel right now, minus the fact that the Bruins and the Flyers are currently tied.

Love the PBR shout-out! Hope you all have magically awkward and/or hilariously fun Friday nights!!

XOXO - Christine

KCSCougar is a Genius Animator

2010-05-11T21:12:00.004-04:00

Please enjoy Lady Gaga's little monsters...

Leno and Conan...

The Real Housewives of NYC...

And my all-time faves, the Real Housewives of New Jersey...

XOXO - Christine

The Break-Up Breakdown

2010-05-10T23:42:00.003-04:00

Heyyyyy friends!

I hope everyone had as wild a weekend as I did...but that's probably not where I should begin, now is it? I know you're all just dyyyying to hear about my love life, especially since I went dark for a week without any word on the Jim situation.

So, where're we at, you ask? Short answer: In a much better place. Long answer: Brace yourself, it's complicated.

When I last left you friendlies, I hadn't heard from Jim since the break-up phone call heard 'round the bar, and was fully preparing myself for the inevitable vanishing act to follow. Thankfully, he finally contacted me later that night (via text) to say that he'd definitely like to meet up mid-week to talk things out and that he'd call me the following day.

Wednesday night rolled around, and after the longest day of all time, I made the drive over to his house. We went upstairs to talk, and I think we were both glad that we'd had a few days to think things through. He apologized for telling me on Friday night that we had "no chemistry" and said that he had been angry with me for posting La Roux's "Bulletproof" video on facebook, because it seemed to be directed entirely at him. I admitted that we had moved to fast; spent too much time together from the beginning. I said I was sorry for letting us get into a rut so soon, and explained that I hadn't been giving him my best me.

In the end, we decided to take a no contact break for 2-3 weeks, and then we can go from there. My fear is that he'll throw himself back into the dating game, meet another girl, and do the exact same thing to her in his quest to get over the hurt from his last break-up. I told him as much, and that my hope is that we'll both take this time to regroup. I need to get back to being my normal, fun, non-stressed self, and he needs to get over his ex-girlfriend and back to a place where he's ready to open up again.

Post-talk, I ventured downstairs where I bumped into his parents, who I'd really gotten to know during our brief courtship. I felt as though they deserved a proper goodbye, so I told them that we were taking a break, and that I didn't know if I'd be back. I thanked them for having me in their home, at which point they both bear hugged me while his dad called me "kiddo" and his mom patted my back and said, "we'll see, we'll see!" Definitely a bit of a bittersweet moment.

Jim walked me out, gave me a big hug, and said that drunk texts and dials would be forgiven, which is good for everyone since we both made that mistake this past weekend.

Speaking of the weekend...I had a wild time on Saturday night when a big group of us went out for Ali's birthday party at JTree.

For those of you who haven't been, it's a sports bar type of situation upstairs, with a sketchy sketch sketch dancefloor downstairs. We began the night on the upper level, where I actually ran into The Cop, before moving to the club level below as the night wore on.

I took down my fair share of Coors Lights and managed to black out pretty hard, but not before dancing around a pole and taking 1,000 awkward photos with my friends, including a very classy kitchen floor photo shoot with Kate.

It was definitely nice to get crazy and let loose with my friends after being so lame for all of January and February, and I feel like I'm getting back to being myself more and more every day. So, we shall see...until then, I love you all and I will be back here blogging again soon!

XOXO - Christine

"Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth..."

2010-05-07T21:20:00.006-04:00

Cannot describe my love for this song with words, so here's the video:

This song, and pretty much anything by Vampire Weekend, immediately transports me to my lake house, where I'm surrounded by water, sun, and friends, and am generally loving life. What I'm trying to say is that it would be basically impossible for this song to not put a smile on my face.

Speaking of Vampire Weekend, I was listening to "Oxford Comma" for the thousandth time the other week and my mind was BLOWN by a lyrical revelation. Ready for it? Skip to 1:41 to hear the slickest Lil' Jon shout out ever (no "YEAAAHHH, OKAAYYY" here).

Incredible, right? In case you missed it, the song goes: "First it's to the window, then it's to the wall; Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth..." Too funny that it took me well over two years to notice haha.

Anyway lovers, I hope you've all had wonderful weeks and I will be posting a break-up/life update later tonight or tomorrow!

XOXO - Christine

(603): Soooo, I was just dumped. Via Phone. At Grand Canal. As a violinist was walking by serenading people. FML.

2010-05-02T10:38:00.008-04:00

Well hello there friends! I haven't seen you in what, a month now? I apologize for disappearing without warning, but I desperately needed a month off to get my life together and figure out where things were going with the new boy I mentioned last time. And where did things wind up going? Say it with me now...fuckin' NOWHERE. (For the full effect, read that Bobby-style, with less bitterness and a lil more Boondock Saints.)

Yes friends, that's right, I was unceremoniously dumped this past Friday night in pretty spectacular fashion.

Which brings us to Friday night...

I got home from school around 7 and prepped myself to rage with Ali, Natasha, and Flores down at The Landing. When I finally arrived, the place (a roped in area on the aquarium pier) was packed with people I know. I immediately began double (okay, triple) fisting and having a blast with Dave, Greg, CJ, Boston Dave, Dan, Evan, Sean, Justin, Ali, Natas, Flo, and about a dozen other friends and friends of friends.

As the night went on, the group thinned out and eventually it was down to about ten of us, who decided to make the trek over to Grand Canal. Not sure if you guys remember iPhonegate 2009, but the point is that horrible things usually happen to me at Grand Canal, but I love it regardless. We began walking over, but then Dan decided that "private equity doesn't walk, private equity cabs it," so we wound up squeezing 7 of us into a cab, at which point I heard Jim's ominous ringtone (the beginning to "Shipping up the Boston").

I picked up and told him that I'd call him back when I got to the bar, which I then did from the patio out back. We talked for a half an hour or so and the conversation went from him telling me to go have fun with my friends, to me asking him what was wrong, to us breaking up and me crying at the bar. The part that makes this hilarious? Try the fact that the street violinist from my neighborhood walked by at this very moment to serenade all of the drunk couples. It was a dramatic moment fit for Lifetime, and I couldn't stop laughcrying because of it. And then...I hung up the phone, went back into the bar with a brave face on, accepted pity drinks and hugs, and danced my face off.

Post-Grand Canal, a bunch of people came back to my apartment to hang out and play some beirut until 4:30 or so. Dan and I teamed up to take on Boston Dave and his lady friend, and I honestly had the best beirut game of my life, sinking nearly every shot and finally winning it for us when we were down to one cup each and they'd hit our cup. One bounce shot later and we were clearly the champions. The night finally ended when Boston Dave broke a kitchen chair and the cold champagne ran dry.

The next morning, I talked to my best friend from high school, Catherine, for an hour or so and she gave me some really excellent perspective on the situation. Based on what I'd told her about this new relationship, it was clear to her that I liked him, but that the intensity of my liking was magnified by how well he treated me, since I haven't had that in a very, very long time. I've done a lot of thinking, and I recognize that she's absolutely right. Do I like him as a person? Absolutely. Did I cry when he ended things? Definitely. Was I mourning the loss of the constant affection as much as I was sad about him choosing to remove himself from my life? Yes, for certain, and that was the point she really drove home for me.

Anyway, midday tears and phone convos done, I Derby'd myself up and headed over to Toppers to meet my friends. If you recall, last year I actually went to the Derby and had the most amazing/awkward time of my life. This year was no different, minus the fact that instead of blacking out and awkwardly hitting on Greg, I was semi-sober and had to keep tabs on his drunk ass so he wouldn't die in the streets of Boston. Natasha wound up buying a spectacular Derby hat and we made our way over to Game On. The weather was gorgeous (somehow better than it was in Louisville itself), and we had a blast. Natasha even managed to win a prize when she bet on SuperSaver, the winning horse! It was a great time...until Ali almost choked some girl out for being a bitch. Oh Ali and her rage...

After Game On, we mosied over to Kings to meet up with Goob and Karen (Koob) for his old roomie's bday party. During said moseying, Ali was still bent out of shape about the girl in the ugly orange dress and kept threatening to serve her Boston tap water as revenge (for those of you who aren't from here, we had a massive water main break and we're not supposed to drink the water, Mexico-style). Everyone was dragging a bit while we were there, so the girls and I wound up leaving. Ali and Lauren peaced out and Natasha and I went on the longest walking tour of Charlestown ever to meet Greg at Tavern on the Water.

When we showed up, Greg was in rare form (not so rare for him) and looked like a very preppy and yet disheveled homeless man, a trend that should soon catch on and be known as "laid off day trader." He convinced us to head back to my building to hang out with the boys upstairs, which we then did. A beer later, and we were on our way to Good Life, with an incredibly racist, youtube sensation aspiring cabbie at the wheel.

Here, our group split up because several of us looked inside at the clientele and couldn't justify paying $20 a head to hang with pure sketchiness. Off to Bell we went, where Natasha "knows people" and was able to get us in without a cover, complete with an escort through the kitchen and up the back stairwell. Finally, the night was coming to a close when I got a call from BDubs. We wound up hanging out and he managed to not pee in any inappropriate locales, so that was a huge bonus.

So, in summation of my weekend:

- Friday was a shitshow (it always is when Dan and Dave are in the mix) and I still managed to have the time -and best beirut game- of my life, despite being dumped pretty spectacularly.

- Saturday night involved Game On, Kings, Tavern on the Water, my apt, Good Life, and Bell. Saturday night also involved BDubs, Greg, and many of my other favorite people. Good time = guaranteed, lack of clean water in Boston be damned.

- Today shall be full of golf (or more appropriately "whiffs" in my case) and a BBQ at Karen's in Southie. Do I have a lot of school work to do? Yes. Will it get done? Eventually. But for now, I just need to hang out with my friends and get back to being my normal, happy, single self.

So, that's where I'm at. I just want to give a huge thank you to my friends who were there for me this weekend and who stayed up with me both nights so I wouldn't have to be alone in my apartment while Kate's in Ireland. I already know that I will be fine, but that doesn't make this, or the prospect of getting back out there, any easier, especially after the awful year I've had dating-wise. Love you all, and I will be a more diligent blogger going forward now that I'm almost done with school. Okay, time for me to go lace up my golf shoes and hit the driving range with Karen, Goob, and Natas...have a wonderful Sunday afternoon everyone!

XOXO - Christine

Sorry for partying...

2010-03-29T23:26:00.012-04:00

Hi friends!

So remember how I previously discussed my barriers to being a better blogger? And my first issue listed was the condo renovation? Well, we're slowly but surely making progress! Here are some photos from before and during the construction:

Old view from the kitchen...boo.

New view!

Which comes courtesy of the closet demo above.

Awkward bar/closet situation (don't even get me started on that decor).

Gone, along with the carpet.

I seriously can't wait until I have all of the "after" shots for you guys and everything is all beautiful and blue and white! My mom actually asked me if I seriously wanted blue everywhere, and I had to point out to her that 24 years of loving something means it's not a phase. I mean, really, talk about not knowing your child haha.

In other news, I went out this past weekend and partied my face off for Natasha's birthday.

Also in attendance were Lauren, Margaret, and many others, along with...drumroll please...a new boy I've been seeing (and some of his friends). Unfortunately for you, he knows about the blog, and he's not entirely comfortable with the idea of me talking about him here...but I will tell you this: He makes me laugh, he treats me well, and he partied like a champion with my friends this past weekend. Any guy who can hold his own while breaking it down at Bell with us gets an A+ in my book.

Alright, it's time for bed, but watch out for a post coming up regarding "Hot Tub Time Machine," which I am beyond pumped to see later this week!

XOXO - Christine

Erin Go Bragh!

2010-03-17T20:41:00.001-04:00

Happy St. Patty's Day lovers! I hope you all had fun celebrating the holiest of holidays!

XOXO - Christine & the many Irish canines on these here internets

ChatRoulette = Incredible

2010-03-16T14:29:00.000-04:00

Love this:

Chatroulette Piano Improv - watch more funny videos

XOXO - Christine

How 'Bout a Toast...

2010-03-12T23:49:00.004-05:00

This is basically incredible:

I would get married just to have someone do this for me. Okay, maybe not, but you get what I'm saying.

XOXO - Christine

"No girl wants to DO the moodle..."

2010-03-11T08:30:00.006-05:00

Some of my friends and I saw an advanced screening of "She's Out of My League" last night, and it was hi-larious! Though I desperately wish I could, I'm not going to give away any spoilers here, but I will tell you that I have one major bone to pick with whomever wrote the script.

Basically, the entire premise of the movie is based upon the idea that this perfect 10 of an event planner leaves her iPhone at the security gate at the airport, and when her best friend calls it, Kirk picks up. The part that infuriates me is that when Molly gets on the plane her bff Patti is all, "wow, way to wait until the last minute!" and she's all, "I know...I think I lost my iPhone..." and then Patti's all, "Calm down, let me call it." And then Kirk picks up, and Molly's all, "oh hey stranger who works for TSA, can you hang on to my phone til tomorrow and then hand deliver it to me at some fabulous party that I'm hosting, which, in real life would be impossible for me to plan sans iPhone, and I should really be wailing like a child about my loss right now, but this is a movie so it's totes cool yo! See ya later Kirky!"

I mean, perhaps it's because the wounds of iPhonegate 2009 are still so fresh, and because she's supposed to be so impossibly perfect and sweet, but when it comes to little baby Milton the iPhone, you can bet many monies that I'd be outta there in an instant to rescue it like it were my own child (or puppy, I like those better).

Other than that, the movie was phenomenally funny, and I highly recommend it to guys and girls alike! Here's the trailer for those of you who haven't seen it yet:

XOXO - Christine

Oh that Heidi Montag...

2010-03-09T22:37:00.003-05:00

Heidi Montag Says No to Plastic from Heidi Montag

Also, this...

Phenomenal.

XOXO - Christine

"And Keith, he has lady hair!"

2010-03-09T01:05:00.003-05:00

Hilarious sketch from Jimmy Kimmel:

When Matt Damon popped up, all I could think about was his bit from the last season of Entourage..."It's for THE KIDS!"

Love it. More to come, including the married man story and the tale of the vanishing boy-who-will-forever-remain-nickname-less.

XOXO - Christine

Latest & Greatest in Hip Hop

2010-03-04T18:23:00.005-05:00

Remember last summer when I asked you guys to check out my friend Donnie's album? And you did? And you inevitably LOVED it? Well, I'm asking you to do it again...this time for a kid named Sam Adams Wisner (I really hope that's his real name). As far as I can tell, based on the non-Boston Lager related google hits I found, this kid's a senior at Trinity and is completely ridiculous.

I just downloaded his brand new album, "Boston's Boy," on itunes, and I suggest you do the same. His style is semi-Asher Roth in that he's young, white, and likes to talk about getting high, but he also has a surprising amount of edge for a Wayland native and fellow NESCACer. The beats are awesome, the lyrics are tight, and he even incorporates some espanol and a few wonderfully educational lines about supply and demand into his song, "I Get High." Perhaps this is what happens when rappers don't drop out of the college they claim to love so much? Just a thought...

Another favorite musical moment comes when he meshes his own backbeat with the instrumental of "Walking on Broken Glass" in his song "Driving Me Crazy." Too good for words. In addition to being crazy talented, he's also hilarious, as I discovered via his twitter account. Behold:

I hope you guys love this shit as much as I do!

XOXO - Christine

And this is why condoms exist...

2010-03-04T18:11:00.002-05:00

Keep your ears open for such fine phrases as "lady business" and "sexual congress."

Dear Jesus...we're in trouble.

XOXO - Christine

My life, in a nutshell.

2010-03-02T20:03:00.009-05:00

Oh boy, where do I begin...

As you know, after the thing with Tom went horribly awry (more on that after), I pretty much vowed to quit dating and said "laterss" to Match.com in a big, totally rebellious way, very much reminiscent of that time I broke curfew by a whole HALF HOUR in high school, only to get a speeding ticket on my way home...what I'm trying to say is that though I possessed the desire to just say no, I failed miserably at following through. Apparently, leaving Match.com for good is like trying to slam a duck phone; damn near impossible.

Reasons to rejoin Match.com:

1. This article scares the shit out of me.

2. I need something other than Elephante (elle-eh-FAWN-tay) to snuggle with and a man (boy? kidding...) other than Drew to force my hugs upon.

3. I enjoy activities. Activities other than shopping tend to be more fun when accompanied by a person to whom you are animalistically attracted. With the exception of JDubs, one night stands to whom you are attracted usually don't invite you to brunch and/or a Bruins game after a sloppy night of bar-side make-outs. Ipso facto, I need a proper man friend in my life.

Reasons to run screaming for the hills:

1. Men are terrible liars. This means that when I hang out with a "single" guy and agree to go out with him the following week, and even make out with him, I can google his name the next day and am inevitably able to find out his wife's name and the location of their bee-yoo-ti-full wedding that occurred three years prior. If a man is going to do this to me in the future, I'd like him to at least have some tact and discretion. Unfortunately, this doesn't appear to be possible. Strike one for the men folk...

2. How much more can I really put up with in the bullshit department before, to quote Omarion, there's an icebox where my heart used to be? I thought I couldn't handle much else after the Manbaby incident, but as it turns out, I've been through a lot more, and I've become shockingly resilient.

3. Can't I just wait for my ideal man to come find me? You know, isn't he just supposed to stumble across me in some adorable meet-cute fashion fit for a romcom...while I sit back and write this blog from my couch...oh. wait. That's how fabulous twenty-somethings blink and become 40-year old cat ladies. Gross, I guess I do really have to get back out there, though, on second thought, the term "lady" does imply dignity, which is more than I have going fo me right now....hmmm, connundrum!

Whelp, it's settled...I guess I'm going to simply reactivate my Match profile and cross my fingers. And now for the tales that brought me to this (metaphorical) place...coming in the next post.

More in a few!

XOXO - Christine

I'm (bringing awkward) back...!

2010-03-02T19:16:00.008-05:00

Oh friends, I am so sorry that I have been a horrible blogger the past 2 or 3 months, but life has been insane lately. I can't get into too many specifics professionally speaking...but my love life alone has been enough of a wreck to make me want to keep me far, far away from these here internets.

Things preventing me from being a good blogger:

1. I bought a new condo and am going to start demo soon. This means that I spend all of my free time channeling my inner HGTV, drawing sketches, and dreaming about color palettes. Assuming that roomie Kate doesn't move with me (the place is smaller but the rent would be the same for her), I will need to consult Facebook and/or Craigslist for a new roommate come summertime. I welcome input on required interview questions/activities.

2. Remember all of the times this past year when I thought things could go nowhere but up? Actually, you probably don't, because I tend not to write about bo-ring things like that...but in summation...things got worse; I'll explain in the following posts.

3. I haven't been going out very often thanks to a semi-strong desire to get my life together. Thankfully, my calendar for March is full of can't-turn-down-invitations and summer is just around the corner!

So...I'm figuring out how to balance it all, one step at a time, and I shall be a better and more diligent blogger/friend/liver of life and ignorer of stress going forward. Now hold on to your seats and get ready for some ridiculousness!

XOXO - Christine

"Not if I bond with her first..."

2010-02-18T10:14:00.001-05:00

I don't know if this is supposed to be a joke or not, but I think it's pretty hilarious either way:

Phenomenal.

XOXO - Christine

"It's an oyster, with two tickets to that thing you love."

2010-02-18T00:48:00.004-05:00

Oh bunnies, I'm so sorry it's been a whopping two weeks since I last posted, but life's been a little rough lately. Luckily, I have a fab story and a hilarious video for you in order to make up for my absenteeism. While the story will have to wait until tomorrow (it's a doozy...), here is the video:

Also, I have a date tomorrow night with He-Who-Has-Yet-To-Be-Nicknamed! Can't wait to let you guys know how it goes!!

XOXO - Christine

Holy Fucking Awkward

2010-02-03T20:41:00.010-05:00

Hey bunnies! So, I have a story for you...here goes.

Remember that guy I went to the Script concert with? Well, after our date, he continued gchatting me on a daily basis, telling me that he couldn't wait to hang out again. This continued for about a week and a half, before he suddenly fell off the face of the earth.

In my heart, I was pretty sure that it was over, but Anna gave me a long lecture about how "guy time" and "girl time" are wildly different, and that a week in guy time really isn't that long at all. Faith somewhat renewed, I decided to email him and let him know that I was going home for Christmas, but that I'd be back in a few days if he still wanted to hang out. The response? Nothing.

Undeterred, I held my tongue and sent him a second (and final) email a week later, saying that it was cool if he found someone else, or if he wasn't that interested anymore, but that I'd appreciate some kind of response or explanation, considering that the last I'd heard, he'd been totally into it. Again...nothing. (By the way, this all went down toward the end of December, and I was beyond impressed with myself for not bitching him out in a lovely New Year's drunk dial.)

Fast forward to Monday night, when Ali and I decided to go on a leisurely shopping adventure to Shaw's.....oh hey, who's that walking toward me from the cheese aisle? HOLY SHIT. It's Tom. (I believe we previously referred to him as "last week's date," "the incident," and/or "the condition.") I spotted him from afar, immediately turned around and started freaking the fuck out. Normally I wouldn't care if I ran into a former flame (see: The Comedy Club Incident), but this is a guy that I actually liked, who pretty much mindfucked me, AND I looked horrendous after one of the worst Mondays of all time. AWESOME.

Anyway, after some not-so-subtle walk-by situations, I finally decided that I would be kicking myself for weeks if I didn't say something to him. So......I ambushed him in the checkout line, because I'm smooth like that. I basically walked right up to him while he was on the phone and tapped his arm. Here is what I remember of the (pretty long) convo that followed:

Him: Heeey, what's up?
Me: Hi. I think it's pretty fucked up that you never emailed me back.
Him: Ugh, yeah, I'm sorry about that. I feel like a real asshole. I kept meaning to write back, but then I felt like it'd been too long, so I didn't.
Me: Well, it was a really dick move.
Him: I know, I'm sorry, I was dating a few people when I met you, and timing's a bitch, you know? I became serious with someone else and didn't handle it well.
Me: Clearly not.
Him: After a week went by, I just didn't want to upset you by bringing it up, so I did nothing.
Me: Well, let me teach you a little lesson about women. We ALWAYS appreciate an apology, whether it's 8 minutes or 8 years after you fuck up. It's an acknowledgment of the fact that you did a dick thing, and that we are not, in fact, crazy.

-Insert apologetic convo-

Him: So, how've you been?
Me: Well, I got into a car accident on Friday morning, the building next door to me caught on fire on Monday night, and now...this.
Him: Oh, I read about that fire on Universal Hub! Great website, you and I are both web savvy, I think you 'd enjoy it.
Me: Cool, I'll check it out.
Him: You were always really hilarious, we should talk sometimes.
Me: Awesome, call me when you're single.
Him: What, we can't be friends?
Me: Okay, sure, we can talk.
Him: Oh, and you mentioned your car accident? Well my car was hit by a cab on my street this weekend!
Me: OH, that's another reason I'm pissed you disappeared! You promised you'd tell me why your car is called Mexican Dave (name changed to protect the...vehicle?), but then you vanished!
Him: (looking around at the minority cashiers) I will tell you some other time, in person, I promise.
Me: Yeah...okay.
Him: No really. I'm glad the lines of communication are open again.
Me: Yup. Alright, I'm gonna let you go. Good to see you.
Him: Okay, see you soon.
Me: Alright...bye.

We high-fived twice and I also demanded a hug since I hadn't received one since my tunnel crash on Friday morning and was so desperate for a warm embrace that I would've taken one from Homeless Meredith. Okay, that's a stretch, but you know what I'm saying, I needed some loving...which is probs why I then purchased a stuffed elephant for myself to snuggle with...because I am apparently 5-years old. Also, Ali spent the entire 30 minutes that I was talking to Tom lurking around the magazine racks spying on us...real cool Ali, real cool haha.

While the entire situation was pretty awk, and I started out practically shaking because I was so angry, it ended well and I feel like I got the closure I was looking for back in December. And honestly, if he's serious about us keeping in touch, then I'm all for it.

Alright, that's it for now lovers! Let's hope the rest of the week is less drama and more fun!

XOXO - Christine

Literal Music Videos

2010-01-31T20:19:00.002-05:00

These are amazing:

Also, as a sidenote, Nick Carter turned 30 this past week, and Justin Timberlake turns 29 today...this means that I am officially nearing old age, or at least a quarter-life crisis. In addition, when I googled "backstreet boys ages" to verify this news, this article was the second thing to pop up: Jesus hates teenage girls (and the gays)

Blasphemy I say!

Alright, back to the Sunday night grind for me, but keep your eyes open, because I'll be eeking out more time to post in February than I did in January!

XOXO - Christine

Best Photos of 2009 (Via CollegeHumor)

2010-01-19T23:44:00.020-05:00

Hellooooo my bunnies! I'm so sorry that I've been an absentee bloggerfriend, but shit's been cray-zy lately. Hopefully the best internet photos of 2009 will help alleviate your suffering!

Hores make everyone feel good Timmy.

Too soon?

Phe-nom-en-al.

Bitch had it coming...

Wish I'd known about this test back when I was dating my mildly gay ex-boyfriend...

I feel like this photo sums up my friendship with Anna. I'm all, "Love me, play with me, let me lick your face (metaphorically)!" And she's all, "Ugh...okay, but just this once, and only because I need a bath (hug) anyway."

Touche, sir.

True story? I once played darts against my sophomore year boyfriend's roomate. The bet? If I won, they would clean their own suite for a month; if he won, I would make sandwiches for my bf and all of his friends, on demand, for a week. Guess who won.

Ahahahahahahaha. That's all.

Love the Kool Aid man. "OH YEAH!"

Too funny.

60% of the time, it works every time.

Real Life Timon and Pumba

As a future educator, I really hope I get many, many tests back like this, solely for the purpose of posting them on these here interwebs.

Clever, clever, clever.

This joke never gets old.

Hope that entertained you guys for the moment; I promise to start posting more as soon as I get a handle on this little thing called time. Unfortunately, my favorite exchange (regarding facebook and those nutbags over at PETA) saved far too small and I'm too tired to deal with it, so check it out here: http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures/gallery:Most_Liked_Pictures_2009#1928947

XOXO - Christine

Awesome 25 Songs of 2009 Mash Up

2010-01-10T21:02:00.001-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

XOXO - Christine

Un-fucking-real.

2010-01-06T00:33:00.000-05:00

Check this crazy shit out; definitely worth the 7 minutes:

Apologies for the lack of blogging so far this week, but it's been a crazy one for me. I'll get back in the writing saddle later this week/weekend, I promise!

XOXO - Christine

Biggest Goal for 2010:

2010-01-05T01:07:00.004-05:00

Lame as it sounds, this is my number one goal for the coming year. I want to live big, have fun, and embrace any challenges that come my way. More to come on my goals, the best/worst moments of 2009, and my never-ending love of black people this week!

XOXO - Christine

P.S. The better (and original) version of this song belongs to The Script, but they unfortunately don't have a jazzy video to go with it.

Happy New Year!!

2009-12-31T16:03:00.006-05:00

Alright babies, I'm sorry, but Catherine's on her way to my apartment and there's shopping to be doone and errands to run before tonight's fabulous soiree, so the Best/Worst Life Moments of 2009 post is going to have to wait until tomorrow, when I'm experiencing my first Great Crippling Hangover of 2010. In saying goodbye to 2009, I'd like to thank you all for being wonderful, wonderful readers and I can't wait to see what the new year brings us!

Boston baby, Boston!

XOXOXOXOXO - Christine

P.S. If you're anything like I am and you need a social spotter when you go out (at all times?) so you don't drunk dial your lady doctor, your best friend's parents, and the school of the child you mentor (true story...thanks first night of junior year), then may I recommend the Don't Dial app for iPhones? See the magic at work here:So far, I've locked 34 numbers out of my phone until 8 o'clock tomorrow morning...everyone from my tailor to my extended family to my man friends, so I am now officially ready to rage. See you next year bunnies!!!!

In Preperation for 2010...

2009-12-31T02:39:00.002-05:00

I was just watching the premiere for Real World DC and saw the latest trailer for MTV's newest hit show, "The Buried Life." Basic premise: 4 guys made a list of 100 things they wanted to do before they died. They bought a bus, traveled around the country (world?), made their wildest dreams come true, and filmed the whole thing. For each item they were able to cross off their collective list, they helped a complete stranger accomplish one of their own goals. Check out there website here, and some of their footage below.

Here's one of the older trailers:

And the newer one:

After watching something like that, you can't help but think about your own goals, and New Year's Eve being upon us....your resolutions. Of the 100 items on the guys' list, I've already managed to accomplish the following:

7. Plant a tree (gotta love middle school earth days...)
9. Destroy a computer (it's called college, and, well...my life in general.)
10. Learn to fly (I took flying lessons one summer when I was a camp counselor.)
11. Get a college degree (Graduated in '07 baby!)
13. Help someone build a house (I helped build two houses when I spent a summer as an assistant site supervisor for Habitat for Humanity in Portland, Maine.)
23. Learn how to play an instrument (I think with piano, viola, saxophone, and drums under my belt, I've got it covered.)
25. Drive across North America (We roadtripped to Derby last spring...does that count?)
27. Give a stranger a $100 bill (I gave $100 to my favorite sober, smiling, cvs-door-holdinghomeless man at the end of the summer I lived in Cambridge.)
29. Scream at the top of your lungs (who hasn't done this?)
49. Take a stranger out for dinner (I actually did this once when I made bff with a slightly crazy older woman at the MAC counter in the mall. We had a blast and met up a few more times after that for mentor-style lunches.)
51. Climb a large Mountain (Katahdin baby!)
58. See a dead body (Sadly true thanks to a handful of funerals.)
65. Learn how to sail (I used to sail at camp when I was younger and spent this past summer relearning how with Bobby as my coach.)
72. Throw a surprise party (My parent's surprise 25th wedding anniversary party was a huge hit!)

82. Win an award (This counts, right? Seriously? Why not?)

86. Teach an elementary school class (DONE. And this list didn't even specify that I had to teach them about sperm, trannies, and lady parts! Seriously though, that happened to me last spring. Sex ed in 5th grade is apparently no joke.)

88. Jump off a waterfall (Thanks Adventure Camp!)
90. Ride a rollercoaster (I still remember the first rollercoaster I ever rode...the Scooby Doo one at King's Dominion in Virginia when we moved to Savannah. Embarassing, but true. Cut me a little slack though, I was 9, people!)
92. Learn how to surf (I halfway accomplished this during one of my visits to my parents' condo in Florida. Too bad I got stuck in a rip tide and then crashed into a reef that we later found out was installed by the association next door to "maintain the shark environment." Good times.)
98. Race horses (I used to ride in Jimcanas at camp.)

Total: 20

Twenty out of one hundred? Without even trying? Not too shabby!

Here are some of the things I'd like to accomplish in the coming year(s):

In 2010...
1. Go paintballing (something I promised Ali for her bday last year and we still haven't gotten around to doing.)
2. Run a half marathon...full marathon if I'm feeling gutsy.
3. Relive my childhood summers by convincing all of my friends to go camping with me.
4. Head up to Maine and tackle the Class 5 rapids that almost killed me back in the day.
5. Become a poor man's Former Roommate Jenn, meaning that I not only want to teach myself to cook, but I'd also like to make it look half as effortless as she does.
6. Smoothly and successfully reonvate and decorate my new condo (more to come on that in 2010!!)
7. Get ballsier with my snowboarding and wakeboarding skills. Breaking my wrist while snowboarding left me a little gunshy, but I'm slowly getting my snow legs back.
8. Suck it up and hop the bus/train to visit my friends/family in NYC more than...never. The lofty goal: 4 times in 2010, versus 0 times in 2007, 2008, and 2009 combined. I'm looking at you, Lee.
9. Be outside all summer, hopefully while working at a non-profit day camp on one of the islands outside of the city.
10. Buy myself fresh peonies every week while they're in season (May and June). Few things make me happier than a vase full of these can.
11. Apologize to everyone I was bitchy to in 2009, namely the match.com date that looked like Tony Soprano's half-sibling who I disappeared on last spring, among others. It's never too late to say you're sorry, especially if you mean it.
12. Write more thoughtful birthday messages to all (okay, most) of my facebook friends.
13. Send Christmas cards for once.
14. Finally get my helmsman certification for sailing.
15. Go to more live shows, especially if Kings of Leon, Vampire Weekend, MGMT, La Roux, Drake, Jeremih, Lil Wayne, or Jay-Z come to town.
16. Be the best friend/daughter/cousin/niece/dog owner I can be.

Long term goals (to cross off in the next 5-10 years)...
1. Skydive
2. Swim with sharks (preferably in Australia...Bobby, you in?)
3. Sell the condo I just bought and buy/build a dreamhouse/penthouse.
4. Fall in love (cheesy, but we're talking long term...who doesn't want to fall in real, non-high-school-boyfriend-forever-and-always or maybe-gay-college-boyfriend-who-lives-down-the-hall-and-is-convenient, love? I promise to still be just as ridic after this happens, though I may have to retroactively delete some of my more risque posts...talk about a dilemma!)
5. Publish a book...or two...or, you know, three.
6. Be a contestant on a gameshow...or win a bananagrams tournament, whichever comes first.
7. Travel. Everywhere.
8. Make a tangible difference in the lives of my students. Help them get into Prep to Prep and ABC programs so they can go to prep/boarding schools for free.
9. Open a summer camp so city kids can experience the backwoods of Maine or New Hampshire.
10. Say yes to every spontaneous adventure proposed to me.

Lofty goals? Perhaps. Acheivable? Absolutely. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me come Friday...wish me luck! And get ready, the Best/Worst of 2009 post coming later today!

XOXO - Christine

Merry Christmas, Jersey Shore Style

2009-12-22T17:50:00.007-05:00

Christmas has come early this year, in the form of the following Jersey Shore video. Words cannot sufficiently express the joy these kids bring to my life.

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

And on Leno...

And on Conan...Please note Snooki's stepstool...

Part 2:

Also, to see the encounter that led to Snooki getting, well, Snookied, go HERE, and to actually see the punch heard round the world, go HERE.

And just in case you want to steal my brilliant idea for Halloween...here are some inspiring tutorials on becoming properly guido-fied:

And...

Alyssa Milano's Evolution: Jersey Shore from Alyssa Milano

And, my personal gift to you...here's some gossip (via Gawker) from a woman who bumped into the whole cast (minus J-WOWW) at Marquee in NYC last night. Enjoy!

"Like an early gift from Santa himself, last night I met the entire cast of Jersey Shore. Here's how it went down. I do not regularly go to clubs, but last night my friend wanted to go to Marquee and after several rounds of drinks, who was I to say no? We go and the first thing we notice is a black pompadour sticking up over one of the couches. And next to the pomp, was a definite situation. Seated was Paulie D, The Situation, Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie and that other one. Here's the rundown on our friends from NJ.

Snooki: In person, she's shorter and tanner than you would even dream of. She was cautious and definitely not used to "fame" yet. Her tits were HUGE and she was NOT the center of attention. I asked her to do some back hand springs and she politely refused. I asked if she planned on pursuing cheerleading professionally and she said yes.

The Situation: A total dickhead, in just the way I wanted him to be. He was too cool to speak to pretty much anyone other than the other cast members. HIS JACKET WAS VELVET! And he would not show us his abs.

Paulie D: Totally sweet. Talked to us for a while, I asked him about the scene where he turned away from that busted blonde girl and he laughed uncontrollably. I was very scared of his hair, but managed to cop a feel.

Ronnie and Sammi: Looked like they were still together, sat on the couch by themselves the entire night. In a nut shell, BORING! Oh, and Ronnie looks better on TV than in person.

The Other One: Don't know his name, but he was there.

One interesting note... Snooki and The Situation were together ALL NIGHT!! They were practically connected at the hip and I wouldn't be surprised if they are hooking up!"

And finally, in case you're not already doing so, I highly recommend that you follow our little tanned fameseekers on Twitter...like yesterday. JWOWW is @JENNIWOWW (see her website here), Snooki is @Sn00ki (where she talks about doing photo shoots with Teresa the table flipper from Real Housewives of NJ, aka my dream come true. Her website is here, and she costs $2,000 for personal appearances...which means that you can find my bday present donation fund here...kidding, sort of), Pauly D can be found at @MTVDJPaulyD, The Situation's Twitter name is, obviously, @ItsTheSituation, and as far as I can tell, Vinny, Ronnie, and Sammi don't have Twitter acounts, and Angelina might, but everyone hates her, so none of them are folliwing any @KKardashianofSeasideHeights's quite yet.

Love you all and I'll see you back here in a few days!!

XOXO - Christine

The Fast and the Furryious...

2009-12-16T00:17:00.000-05:00

The Hangover + Furry party + YouTube sensation "Charlie Bit Me!" + childhood favorites + fast cars = One ingenious video.

And yes, if you were looking closely you saw cameos by Julia Allison (in the yellow dress), Meghan Asha (in a red dress), and, drumroll please...Justin Bobby of Hills fame (with slicked back slimeball hair, naturally).

Love it. More to come, so stay tuned.

XOXO - Christine

Best. Thing. Ever.

2009-12-13T22:36:00.003-05:00

Apparently dreams do come true, because look what I just found in my inbox:

Life is good.

XOXO - Christine

"Ed Hardy Water, Vodka, Jesus, Revenge..."

2009-12-13T14:32:00.004-05:00

Heyyyy bunnies! I can't believe I haven't posted this video yet, because it's phenomenal, but dear god am I glad I waited, because I overheard the greatest (and very related) thing last night on my way to Leah's, (after witnessing an almost multi-generational brawl that ended in hugs)...

Leathered up guido to the valet in front of my building: "So, what's this I hear about some show, some show called Guido Shores or Jersey Guidos? Have you heard anything about this?"

Unfortunately, it was freezing and I couldn't stop to hear more, but this, in essence, is my neighborhood. If the North End were an iPhone app, it would most certainly be called "Jersey Shore Lite."

And with that, I present you with "Bobby Bottleservice," a mix of Jon Gosselin, a pudgy guido, and the "such as" North Carolina pageant queen, aka Nick Kroll disguised under a thick layer of shelacking:

Bobby Bottleservice - Jersey Shore Audition Tape - watch more funny videos

You can see more of this very attractive and "fierce competator" here, in a video that I originally posted last month:

The Ed Hardy Boyz: The Case of the Missing Sick Belt Buckle from Jon Daly

As I said to my date from last week (who will heretofor be referred to by his Jersey Shore nickname, "The Operation"), I love life; it's so full of guidos and magic...

Hope you guys all had fun weekends and are getting amped up for all of your upcoming holiday parties!!

"Criss-a Angel is a douch-a-bag."

2009-12-11T17:08:00.004-05:00

One of the best things I've ever seen. Absolutely worth the 4 minutes. Enjoy:

"The Adoption Agency" with Entourage star Rex Lee as Kim Jong Il from Rex Lee

Too funny.

Alright kids, I'm off to start the cooking for tonight's holiday dins! Hope you all have fabulous Friday nights!

XOXO - Christine

I Love You...Jason Segel

2009-12-10T15:18:00.004-05:00

Probably one of my top ten internet finds ever. Enjoy:

Favorite line? Try this: "Remember when I showed my penis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Well there were no special effects, no no special effects, so if you liked what you saw, well that's exactly what I'm working with. 1-315-329-6673, call it if you need me, 1-315-329-6673, only call if you're disease free."

Love it.

XOXO - Christine

Adios Online Dating, it's been...fun?

2009-12-08T23:46:00.013-05:00

6,335 views of my profile later, and I am officially done with Match.com. Thirteen minutes from now, or by the time I finish this post, it will all be over...no more coming home drunk and scoping out prospects, no more politely telling middle-aged men and guidos, "no thanks," no more going on dates with borderline alcoholics, only to have them rip shots in my bathroom or call me while riding their bikes back to the south end....no friends, thirteen minutes from now, all of this magic will be behind me.

I have to say, breaking up the homance (Bobby's newly minted term for a lady-bromance) with Match was theoretically hard, but it's also a giant relief. I don't know how much longer I could keep up with the incessant winks and emails from boys who think that we'd be perfect together because I happen to be the proud owner of a hoo-ha and appreciate the oh-so-subtle humor of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." I mean, maybe I have aggressively high standards, but I don't think it's too much to ask for a tallish, well-educated, cool guy who has some direction and can make me laugh...I'm just saying.

Things I will be more than happy to leave behind? Going on a date, coming home, and then seeing said date online scoping out new prospects later that evening. Granted I'd be doing the same thing...but somehow it's different when their "Online now!" badge is flashing in your face. And this is why I present to you my very best advice for you to successfully navigate the world of online dating whilst maintaining your sanity and standards. Also, we will be recapping what I have learned over the past 9, count 'em, 9, months. Get your pens and pencils out ladies and gents, because here we go...

Words of Wisdom:

1. When emailing someone you may be interested in, remember to reference information from their profile. Not only will it make them feel as though you're being genuine, but it will also prevent you from the pain and humiliation of this exchange. Also, spelling and grammar count, especially if you're over the age of 18 and/or have managed to obtain your high school diploma or the equivalent.

2. DO post presentable photos of yourself. If you would feel more comfortable maintaining your current look, perhaps you would feel more comfortable joining a dating/Lord of the Rings roleplaying community for fellow hippie elves.

3. If you're only looking for sexy times, please direct your attention to adult friend finder and leave me alone. It's fine if your idea of a dream date would be "dinner, movie, and a good time back at her place," but please, have some tact.

4. If you know that someone's not right for you, don't feel the need to get involved. Just press the "no thanks" button, and move on. There's no use wasting your time or theirs on something that's not going anywhere.

5. Wait an email or two before letting your freak flag fly, DON'T just put it all out there for your friends and coworkers to stumble across and then blog about, with accompanying illustrations.

6. Don't be sketch when you finally meet someone. It may go well at first, and they may think your drunkeness is endearing, but eventually they will find the bottle of orange vodka you hid in the bathroom and they will not be pleased.

7. DO be creative with date ideas! The best dates are fun, interesting, and flow organically. Dinner and a blockbuster can be a good time, but more often than not it should be Plan B, not A.

8. There's no blogpost to go with this, but after a date, wait 24 hours, or at least until morning, before logging in to your account. Otherwise, the other party is bound to think you're not interested or at least feel the sting of post-date rejection even more strongly. It's just a good policy to have because it works in reverse as well. Karma people, karma.

9. Speaking of karma, boys and girls, please quit it with the disappearing acts! I know I've done it to my fair share of online paramours, and that makes me hugely hypocritical, but I've since recognized the error of my ways and have realized that next time I'm tempted to do this, I just need to grow a pair and use my words. If you've given someone your number, or gone on a date with them, I think it's only right to let them know that it's not going to work out as soon as you can find a solid, sugar-coated reason, so they don't spend the rest of the week sitting around waiting for a phone call that will never come, because it's just depressing when I put it that way, isn't it?

10. It goes without saying, but please DON'T be any of these people.

And a bonus for good luck...

11. More than anything else, remember to get out there, have fun, and be safe!

And now, positive recap time. We all know what I have lost via Match.com (time, money, dignity), but what have I gained?

1. Laughter, and awkward stories, which are simply priceless.

2. A lasting and committed love for all things Kings of Leon (thanks to the boy who threw a temper tantrum) and The Script (thanks to last week's concert date) as well as a passing interest in Wilco (Drunk Date).

3. A keen eye for observation, thanks to the balding 23-year old I went out with. Baseball hats in every photo? Fool me once, shame on me...

4. A stronger sense of self and the things I want/need in life and in a guy.

5. And, in all honestly, the most important thing I've gained is a deeper appreciation of my friends, who have been there from every, "oooh look at this guy!" to each, "ugh, he was awful/drunk/balding!" Without you guys, and my faithful readers, I would've pulled an Alexa Ray Joel long ago (too soon?)...kidding, but seriously, I love you guys.

To the men of Match.com, thanks for the laughs; it's been quite the ride.

And now, I pass the online dating torch to my dear friend Lee (the same one who sent me the Jersey Shore Nickname generator earlier today), and I wish her the best of luck in her search for a decent man to call her own.

Stay tuned kids, more to come later this week.

XOXO - Christine

"Pretty much, I'm ripped up like Rambo."

2009-12-08T18:44:00.003-05:00

Ohhhh friends. I'm taking a nice little break from my finals tonight to share with you the joy and wonder that is MTV's newest show, "Jersey Shore." Now, being my readers, I would assume that the vast majority of you have already seen this magical piece of modern cinematography, but just in case you missed it, here's the trailer:

Phe-nomenal.

The first episode was pretty much incredible, with eight leather-skinned guidos and "guidettes" descending on a trashy Real World style house on The Shore, complete with astro-turfed rooftop and mind boggling duck telephone. Since I don't have nearly enough time to recap its magnificence for all of you, may I recommend a review by Meg over at 2birds1blog? Also, you can meet the cast here, and find out what your Jersey Shore nickname is in time to try out for season two (thanks to Lee for the link). Mine is "The Good Time," and to that, I say...of course it is.

Hope everyone's having a great week!

XOXO - Christine

"Don't mock the scarf, it's my signature."

2009-12-07T23:10:00.005-05:00

In honor of tonight's most excellent episode of Gossip Girl, I present to you, the best of Chuck Bass, which has somehow been condensed into a 3:12 video of his most memorable quotes...impossible, but true. Enjoy:

Also, while I was on the hunt for the above video, I also found the following...

And...

And...

XOXO - Christine

The Never-Ending Date

2009-12-06T20:14:00.006-05:00

Hey there bunnyfriends, hope you all had fab weekends! Despite almost crashing into the back of an 18-wheeler last night (thanks impromptu snowstorm!) I managed to have an excellent time...mostly because of the nice lil date I went on this past Friday night. While I initially told myself that I wouldn't write about it (to prevent jinxing, obviously), it was just too fun to not share some details with you, so here goes...

I met my date at the Lower Depths in Kenmore, which is a fun little place where dollar hotdogs, tater tot platters, and a fine selection of brews all co-mingle on the menu in complete harmony. I highly recommend the turkey sandwich, as it was unreal with whatever cranberry aioli situation they smeared on it. The tots were also delish, but I was told that the chicken sangwich was the opposite of tender...so perhaps avoid that one if you make the trek out there. My only other complaint is that the restaurant went from being pretty empty and quiet when we walked in at eight to being almost unbearably loud by the time we left at ten, though that could have been due to the Loud Talker sitting at the next table over. All in all, it was a good experience, and I would def go again.

Next, we meandered (okay, powerwalked-it was cold!) our way over to the House of Blues to see The Script. Though I didn't know much about the band before, and only had one of their songs, I now love them. Bandwagon fan, I know, but love is love...what can you do? In case you haven't heard The Script, they're basically Ireland's version of The Fray and they sing some phenomenal songs with lyrics generally revolving around heartbreak and devestation...awesome. Unfortunately, we spent so much time at dinner that we missed a good portion of the show, but we still managed to see them perform the end of "The Man Who Can't Be Moved," as well as "Rusty Halo," "I'm Yours," my fave, "Breakeven," and one other that I can't remember.

Here's a video of the final song of the night. In case you can't see, the lead singer is wrapped in an Irish flag with "Boston" written across it and the crowd went bananas when he threw it into the audience at the end of the show. Enjoy:

More to come later this week, including a wonderful little post involving the findings of The Great Attic Exploration of 2009. Get excited!

XOXO - Christine

P.S. Here's one of my fave Script songs that I don't think we heard at the concert. It's called, "Before the Worst," and it's awesome:

Just...wow.

2009-12-01T20:25:00.002-05:00

Apparently the flu attacks creative genius and your vocal abilities first.

XOXO - Christine

Breast cancer awareness at its best

2009-12-01T00:58:00.003-05:00

So creative; I love it.

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, but I'm in the middle of finals and things are a bit hectic at the moment. Good news: I dug through my attic when I was home for Thanksgiving last week and found many, many awkward photos, love letters, and original poems from my childhood! Get excited, because I'll be scanning and posting them sometime this week!

XOXO - Christine

Now Joining Team Jake...

2009-11-24T23:48:00.009-05:00

Ohhhh friends. Oh wow. So, this fine evening, a group of my lovely friends and I moseyed (okay, powerwalked) our way down to the Loews Boston Common to check out some vampire (slash werewolf) on human action, in the form of the latest flick in the Twilight series, also known as, "New Moon." Before I go any further, let me just preface this entire post by saying that I've never read any of the books, nor do I fully understand half of what I just witnessed, but you should know that I will probably slip some important details. So, strap yourselves in, because there are likely spoilers ahead.

Now, onto the movie...

For those of you who aren't "Twihards" like my dear friend Leah, I will give you a little background. Basically, this really awkward plain jane type named Bella moves to some ass backwards town called "The Forks," which is meant to seem all earthy and wet and therefore mystical, much like every horror movie set ever erected. Bella's all angsty and like, "Daaaad, I don't wanna make friiiends! Grosss!" Finally, she throws on a ratty sweatshirt and drives herself to school in a bright orange clunker of a truck and meets Edward Cullen, who's creepy eyes twinkle when she's around. They go through a lot of brooding teenage bullshit and eventually he admits that he's a glistening little vampire and they live happily ever after, until some other twinkly vampires come to, you know, suck her blood. Obviously, love prevails, Edward takes them all out, and all is well with the world...at least until the sequel.

Enter, "New Moon." In this installment, Edward tells Bella that she sucks and he's peacing out (to protect her, but she doesn't have those fun vampire mind reading powers). After literally months of atrophying in a chair by the window, she finally makes slight amounts of effort to return to her life, at which point she takes notice of Werewolf Jake, aka HottieHotHottie. Stop judging, the age of consent is totally 17 in most places...right? Whatever. The rest of the movie is a blur, because I pretty much spent the next two hours drooling over Jake's Abs (yes they deserve to be capitalized) and shouting, "what the shiiiiit!?" I believe that my fellow movie goers were thrilled by this, as it broke up the monotony of the crying baby in the back. Luckily, the joke's really on that's kids parents, because it's totes going to grow up all emo and shit, like my future son, "Keith."

But, I digress. Back to Jake's Abs. I mean, JUST LOOK AT THESE THINGS!

I'm normally not into super jacked guys, but one look at these babies rippling in the morning overcast of The Forks, and I was hooked. When I say "hooked," I mean that he's so hot that I am actually able to look past that heinous wig he wears in the first few scenes, AND the non-ironic jorts he sports for the entirety of the movie. That, people, is LOVE. Or lust. But whatever. Not only is he suddenly supahfine, but he's also totes into Bella (vom). But nooooo, Bella's gotta stick poor Jake and His Abs in the corner slash friendzone and fly off to Italy to save this pasty motherfucker from Dakota Fanning:

I mean, Bella's weird and shit, but who, (WHO!) would ever choose this dude over...well, pretty much anyone else? He's ghostly white, built like a 12-year old, and I'm not sure if you can tell in this photo, but the silver screen made those nipple hairs look at least two feet long. NOT OKAY. I know, I know, he's a vampire, he's supposed to be pale...but if you're trying to tell me that these nocturnal Cullen vampire people have never seen an infomercial for a certain Bowflex Total Body System or, at the very least, the Smooth Away hair removal brush thing...well, I'm just not buying it, unless another one of their "magical powers" is to resist the wily charms of Chuck Norris and John Basedow...

So, in conclusion, move over Rewell...it'll be TEAM JAKE for me from here on out.

Enjoy the holiday lovers and I'll be back next week when I'm chock full of turkey and STORIES! And once I've purchased the above waterbottle via the wonders of the internets...

XOXO - Christine

Wanted: Lion Cub and/or Midget Friend

2009-11-20T00:14:00.009-05:00

So, for those of you not following my obnoxious photo tweets about Bradydog, etc. on Twitter...the little guy was here last week and brought much joy and laughter into the lives of all who had the pleasure of running into him on the mean streets of Boston. There were playdates with Zeke and Olivia, trips to school, whole afternoons spent in the park...really, it was the highlight of this entire city's November. Sadly, I had to return him to my parents after a few days and it was truly a devastating loss...not just for me, but for Massachusetts as a whole.

While desperately searching for a way to remedy the situation, New Roomie Kate came up with an ingenius idea. Ready for it?

Befriend/hire a midget, excuse me, "little person," clothe him in a lion costume, and return home every night to his wagging little tail and smiling face! Incredible, right? We have determined that peeing when meeting new people is optional. Authenticity is nice, but no one reeeally enjoys cleaning up urine...trust me, I would know. In addition to being a lovable ball of joy and wonder at all times, we would expect said Little Lion to morph into a cleaning and organizing machine whenever we leave the apartment...you know, the way that stuffed animals totally come to life as soon as you leave the room.

For their services, we would house them in a lovely plastic crate, with the option to upgrade to the foot of my bed after a 3-month trial period. The starting pay is 3 milkbones and two meals per day, with a negotiable bonus of one chew toy and/or soup bone for each time they are required to come to the bar and wrangle our drunk selves. Two chew toys if they have to chaperone us while we sleep so we don't throw up on our laptops...just saying, it's a possibility.

So, if you know any little people and/or small children looking for a yob in these uncertain times, or simply looking to scratch and lick their way to being this happy,

Sweatshirt not included with offer.

then please direct them to this blog, and remind them that like ibankers circa 2004, they should look beyond the initial salary, as they'll be earning at least half of their income in (drunk patrol) bonuses.

Until the next post...

XOXO - Christine

Happy Thursday!

2009-11-12T00:54:00.005-05:00

Hello loves! Hope you all had fab Veteran's days and welcome back to the workweek for those of you who had yesterday off. To get your Thursday started right, I've compiled the funniest videos from FunnyorDie.com for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

Christopher Walken doing a dramatic reading of Poker Face:

Christopher Walken sings "Poker Face" - watch more funny videos

Drunk Ewoks battling it out on The Today Show:

Drunk Ewoks Moonwalking - watch more funny videos

Not sure if I've posted this before or not, but Jon Lajoie is the man, so here you go (again?):

Everyday Normal Guy Rap Song - watch more funny videos

"That's What She Said..."

That's What She Said Rides Again - watch more funny videos

The Ed Hardy Boyz:

The Ed Hardy Boyz: The Case of the Missing Sick Belt Buckle from Jon Daly

"Between Two Ferns" with Zach Galifianakis:

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

And, in honor of Bradydog's recent visit, we'll end with this winner:

Hot Dog - watch more funny videos

Hope you guys enjoyed those! More to come later today...

XOXO - Christine

Ladies' Night, Oh What A Night...

2009-11-05T04:45:00.008-05:00

So, a few weeks ago, Ali, Natas, and Margaret decided to host a bunch of us girls for a fabulous ladies night full of delicious treats and even juicier stories.

Like this tasty cake made by Natas herself!

Lest you all assume that a night such as this would be limited to us bitching about men (boys) and bowing to the gods Ben and Jerry, I would like to provide you with some insight into our five hours of festive fun and games...

You guys remember MASH, right? Where the person in question fills in two answers for each category, then the other person completes the form with all things awk.com, and hilarity ensues? Well, we played it, round robin style. Ali was feeling a bit sickly, so I took it upon myself to fill one out for her, since my life is already more of an unbelievable joke than MASH could ever hope to predict. Her results:
I even wrote a full description, essay style:
In case you can't make it all out, I've transcribed the basic gist of it below; the yellow bits are the parts that were filled in:

Ali, a trophy wife, met her husband, Homeless Meredith (a cabbie) at The Bunny Ranch in Nevada. They have 2 children, their eldest of whom, Eziekiel, was conceived miraculously during anal in the back set of their Audi A5. The happy couple resides in an apartment under the sea, and though their life resembles Seinfeld, Meredith has cheated on Ali in the past with a sex therapist. Their wedding was beautiful; Ali wore white, and they honeymooned in Roxbury. They own a rabid squirrel (ostensibly befriended by Meredith during her days roaming the back alleys of the North End), and Ali somehow makes bank. The End.

What a lovely life story! Congrats to Ali on her bright future!

Following MASH, Anchorman, and cake, we were treated to a rousing one woman show, courtesy of (not former roommate) Jen. Not only did she sing such smash hits as "The Thong Song" and "Baby Got Back," but she also acted out nearly every skit ever shown on SNL in under five minutes flat, with occassional back up vocals/charades assisstance from Natas. Have a listen for yourselves (no picture, just beautiful, melodious sounds)...

Alrights friendlies, more to follow.

XOXO - Christine

P.S. Don't forget to check out my other blog: All The Pretty Things!

"You can't keep US down...anymore."

2009-10-30T03:36:00.002-04:00

Happy Friday bitches:

XOXO - Christine

Who's that driving? Patrick Swayze!

2009-10-29T07:56:00.003-04:00

Still one of the funnier things I've found on these here interwebs, and not just because I know the kid in front wearing the goggles:

Enjoy! More updates coming soon, specifically regarding my past few weekends and mah bday!

XOXO - Christine

In Preparation for Trick or Drink 2009...

2009-10-27T01:39:00.027-04:00

Oh friends, it's that time of year again...that time of year when girls get their whore on and boys live out their latent fantasies for one sacred evening. In the spirit of this tradition, here are some photos from last year's Trick or Drink:

Our apartment last year. We were stop #4 and served "Blackout Punch," which glowed under the blacklight, thanks to an infusion of tonic water!

Chuck Bass, obviously.

Kissing Booth, The Hamburglar, and Free Mustache Rides!

Teague as McLovin!

Boobs, enough said.

The girls and I were a bachelorette party (my theoretically phenomenal idea). Anna was our beautiful bride-to-be, and apparently our costumes were soooo good that everyone thought we were a legit bachelorette party...come one people, it's Halloween, use your brains!

Jenn's boyfriend, the coordinator of Trick or Drink, was a rock, and his roommates were paper and scissors. Such a great DIY idea!

Anna, making moves on the self-proclaimed "gay pirate." By the end of the night, I'm pretty sure I was able to convince him that his leopard stretch pants and plastic bone made him more suited to be a gay caveman. Also, not the handy nipple holes in that very fashionable silk shirt. Very chic.

Nothing says party like a sheep holding you up to do a kegstand...Dorsh, Karen, and Praski as an 80's skier, a Giants' player, and an Oompa Loompa.

Leah, using her friend Pablo as a drinking apparatus.

Leah, the day laborer.

Praski managed to gank Leah's lover, Pablo, and eat many tostitos out of his back opening. That sounds wrong on so many levels, and trust me, it totally was haha.

Karen and Ali the Giants' players and Charlie as Winnie the Pooh.

Ali making some moves on Greenman.

Dear Ali, this photo makes me glad I dipped my pen in your ink, bro.

Greenman was irresistable!

Ahahahahaha. I love my friends.

Shockingly enough, these are dance moves.

The death of Pedro/fighting over the gay pirate's bone.

Fighting an actual pirate for the gay pirate's bone.

Aggression duly noted.

Pretty much under the house to get that bone. This is why "naughty" Halloween costumes are overrated.

Alright lovers, that's about all I have for the moment...more to come this week, especially since MY 24TH BIRTHDAY is on Wednesday!!!

XOXO - Christine

I just died a little inside watching this...

2009-10-23T15:45:00.000-04:00

Probably the cutest shit I've ever seen. You may want to save this one for a Monday pick-me-up.

Beagle Puppy Attacks Rottweiler - watch more funny videos

I need to get Bradydog back to Boston ASAP; I'm suffering major cuteness withdrawal!

Happy Friday friendlies!!!

XOXO - Christine

Time to revisit childhood...

2009-10-23T00:34:00.005-04:00

Before watching the following videos, make sure someone passes you a blunt, a bong, a bowl, or a weed inhaling contraption of any kind really, because I just discovered the best shit EVER. Shy of "Endless Summer" or any other extreme sports movie montage, this will now be your go-to getting high video selection. Ready? Here we go...

Law and Order: Special Letters Unit

I'm already picturing myself getting high and shouting, "THERE, RIGHT BEHIND YOU! NO, NO, HE'S WEARING A MOUSTACHE! OH, THANK GOD..." I will be that black person in the movie theater yelling, "DON'T YOU GO UP THOSE STAIRS!" at the girl in the horror movie, except that I will be white, and curled up on the edge of my couch in my empty apartment, shrieking at fuzzy, life-sized letters.

RSI: Rhyme Scene Investigation

Next time your "CSI: Miami" drinking game feels stale, turn to "Rhyme Scene Investigation" for an infusion of fun and laughter.

LL Cool J goes on an "Addition Expedition"

Apparently, rapping and performing basic addition are not mutually exclusive skills after all!

Jack Black Defines "Octagon"

Dear god I hope he was high when he shot this.

And, the best Sesame Street video ever?

Try NPH as a shoe fairy. No, really...

LOVE IT.

More to come. Night kids!

XOXO - Christine

Well, at least I'm not THIS guy...

2009-10-21T14:48:00.003-04:00

Oh friends, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a "hot minute," as the semi-pro paintball player I used to bang would say, but my life has been a bit of a mess lately. Luckily, I have friends who understand and know all the right questions to ask...exhibit A:

Me: Ugh, my life is in shambles.
Lee: Alcohol shambles, or real shambles?
Me: Hmmm, I'm going with alcohol shambles...

On that note, please enjoy this video of a man whose life is in more shambles than mine...at least I hope so haha:

Blame It On The Alcohol - watch more funny videos

Until next time...

XOXO - Christine

iPhonegate 2009

2009-10-15T03:28:00.007-04:00

Oh bunnies....it's about time I tell you all about the Great iPhone Ganking of 2009.

Ready? Here goes:

The weekend before last, I went to my friend Jill's birthday party and got retardedly drunk during the pregaming portion of the evening. By the time we got to the bar (Grand Canal), I was entering tunnel vision mode, which is usually a precursor to Blackout Boulevard. In order for this story to make the most sense, I should probs explain the layout of the place before going any further...

So, you walk in the front door of the Grand Canal, and you are suddenly in the midst of a throng of people. Directly in front of you, there is a bar that runs the length of the wall, and to your left there is a small stage with a band playing obscenely loud Bruce Springsteen and other shit I don't like. To your right, there are the kind of stairs that they have in split-level houses. Eight steps go up to a loft where they host private parties, and eight other steps take you down into a cozy little mini bar area with a few high top tables and a big, built, and beefy half-black bartender named Rewell.

Now, being drunk me, I of course sidled up to the empty bar downstairs, ordered myself two Coronas, and used my wily ways to convince my dearest Rewell to put the limes in the bottles for me (because my little thumbs are just sooo small and the lime always squirts in my face! God I love far-too-obvious innuendo). After tipping him generously (with money, not smiles*), I roamed around and hung out with my friends for a bit. Eventually, I drained both bottles and returned to Bar Rewell just in time to collect on the drink that one of my guy friends owed me. Sadly, my lover didn't know said drink was for me, and hadn't used his big, manly hands to force the lime into the bottle...for SHAME.

Upon seeing this, I strutted my shit back up to the bar in an attempt to flirt a little more with my future boo. Unfortunately, the guy at the table next to where I was standing didn't recognize the love vibes in the air, and turning to me, asked, "UH, are you just trying to talk to me?" The answer was obvs no, but he and his friends were sufficiently attractive, so I wound up befriending them and introducing them to my group of girls. Pretty sure I facilitated some sloppy makeouts that night, so high five to me.

Anyway, at some point during this fab meet and greet, the following convo ensued:

Me: Hey, it's my friend's birthday tonight (pointing to Jill), do you think we can get behind the bar for a photo or two?
Jill: Yeah, fun!
Rewell: Sure you can, come on back.
Diana (who was sloppy.com): I WILL PAY YOU TWWEENNTTYY DOLLARS FOR A PHO-TO BEHIND THIS BAR!
Me: Yeah, Di, you should get in it too so we can use it for our bday picture!
Diana: OF COURSE I'M GETTING IN THE PHOTO, I JUST PAID TWEENNNNTY DOLLARS FOR IT!!
Me: Haha, okay, whatever.

A photo shoot followed, and I'm pretty sure (I hope?) that Rewell refused the $20. My man cannot be bought!!

As the night went on, things just got sloppier. At one point, this kind of cute, and yet slightly trashy, guy and his awkward friend started talking to me by the bar (right in front of my lovah!), but I let it happen. A few minutes into our compelling chat, Diana stormed up to me and yelled, "THE BARTENDER WON'T GIVE ME FREE DRINKS!!! WHY NOT!??"

I told her to chill and that I'd see what was going on with mah boo. Actual convo:

Me: So, my friend is demanding free drinks. Can you just give her a Vodka Tonic, make it look free, and I'll pay you in like ten minutes?
Rewell: Haha, bitches (as in females) always want free drinks! Here you go.

Crisis averted, I gave Di her drink, talked to the Trashy Twins for a bit longer, and slowly made my way back across the bar to give Rewell some cash moneys. I must have blacked out for a minute or two, because the next thing I knew, I was standing there with my bag and another Corona in front of me, a pile of dolla dolla bills in my hand, and no wallet to be seen. Immediately, I turned to the Trashtacular Twosome and said, "Look guys, if you have my wallet, just give it to me, I won't care!" Of course, the negatively attractive one spotted it on the floor behind me, and I had to spend the next fifteen minutes apologizing my ass off for accusing them of ganking my shit...but only after I gave Rewell a napkin with my number and a crude drawing of my wallet on it, complete with instructions to call me if he found it, or you know, "just to chat." God I'm awkward. On the good news front? My drink and Di's Vodka Tonic were both on the house! Flirting WIN!

Anyway, I continued to talk to the trashmonsters, because I felt AWFUL, but then the cuter one started to make moves...the kind of moves I would have been into had he been 6'2" and blonde, but not so much in his case. So, I did what any normal girl would do...I made up an overly elaborate backstory about how I would TOTALLY be interested in him, except that I had recently begun dating the bartender and didn't want to hit on other boys right in front of him. I then telepathically (and later, verbally) informed my future baby daddy of said plan, and we had several fleeting moments of eye contact and even a mini heart-to-heart by the dishwasher while I was pretending to whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Suffice it to say, the plan was a hit...until the bar was about to close and I realized that within the ten minutes prior, SOMEONE STOLE MY MOTHERFUCKING IPHONE.

I ran around the bar searching for it and bawling my little eyes out, probably looking like an insane person and completely repulsing my, by then, long lost lover. While desperately calling my phone from Erin's, I ran into the Trashy Twins again upstairs. I told them what had happened, and the cute one looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Well, at least you know that we don't have it, haha."

EXCEPT THAT THEY TOTALLY MUST. Literally no one else was near me during the ten minute window in which it was tanged. I'm approximately 96% positive that they saw their opportunity to enact revenge on my reject-y ways and took it. Those little BITCHES!

Epilogue: Rewell and I failed to consummate our love, I wasted my big bday present on a new iPhone, and my parents yelled at my for several hours about the meaning of the word, "responsibility." F. My. Life.

Blerg.

Alright, that's it for the moment my friendlies! Good luck out there, and mind your phones!! And, if you are a sloppy drunk or an iPhone owner (like this girl), buy MobileMe ASAP, turn on the "Find My iPhone" feature, and set up a passcode lock so no one can turn this feature off. This is literally the only chance you have of getting your phone back if something like this happens to you. Also, it's kind of awesome because you can track your iPhone's whereabouts on me.com. So, maybe don't use a password that your stalker could easily decode...but otherwise, enjoy!

XOXO - Christine

*This joke will only be understood by people who have seen "Couples Retreat," which btdubs, was hilarious.

Texting your way to love...

2009-10-12T04:20:00.003-04:00

This video is incredible...and a pretty accurate window into my life, minus the cat, the ginger hair, and the horrendous use of emoticons. Thanks to Anna who sent this to our group of friends forever ago, and thanks to the TFLN facebook fan page, which reminded me of it's existence. Enjoy...

Best quotation: "Scientific studies show that it's physically impossible for a girl not to go to an 80's party." To that, I say, "FACT."

Topics I shall be discussing this week: iPhonegate 2009, my date with the lawyer, my life the joke, my weekend in Vermont, my TWO Halloween costumes, and any other fun things I can come up with...get excited!

XOXO - Christine

FOUND: DRANK...shit yes!!

2009-10-12T01:30:00.004-04:00

Hello my bunnies!! I hope you all had spectacular weekends! I just returned from a fun time in Vermont with Ali (post to follow), and discovered an email from a reader named Ryan regarding my post about the magical new beverage called, "DRANK."

Here is his [lightly edited] email:

"I'm not sure if anyone has replied to your blog about Drank yet, but I thought I would try and help you find it and give you my opinion on it.

I actually love Drank. I drink it on days where I feel like either relaxing or just wanna calm down. I wouldn't call it a substitute for weed though. Drugs are always different for each person but Drank really only calms you down but without any kind of high. I even drank 2 in a row and it had the same effect. I think the only real drawbacks are the pricing and the tolerance you build. I have been to different places that sell Drank and it goes anywhere from 2.25 to about 5 dollars per can in new Mexico. I think since its so new that kids don't know what the stuff is worth. The tolerance though is cause of the melotonin in it. I take melotonin pills whenever I can't sleep and I know if I do it too often I start getting insomnia and need higher doses of it but since I only drink Drank once a week or so its not too bad. Drank(from what I hear) has cough syrup in it which is where the color and the opiate effects are from. I'm not sure on the tolerance build of cough syrup.

Now as for getting Drank, I first discovered it at a local smoke shop. The guy behind the counter was telling us about it because his boss said he wasn't allowed to drink it at work. That struck some interest so of course he tried it at work. He said for the next 5 hours he sat in the chair lazy as hell and didn't wanna get up. He also made it clear not to drive after drinking it which I have done anyway on separate occasions despite his warning. The guy was an easy 6'2" 240 pounds and one can hit him hard which I found amazing and it is very obvious he's a stoner. So your best bet to finding a Drank would be a smoke shop or maybe certain gas stations."

In summation: DRANK = best invention of all time, and I will have to venture to a sketchy smoke shop to find it. Can't wait!!

Thanks Ryan and thanks for reading everyone!!

XOXO - Christine

And now for something different...

2009-10-08T03:56:00.006-04:00

So, I know my posts are usually about my joke of a life and all of the crazy things I encounter on these here interwebs, but I recently came across this video from "Ukraine's Got Talent" and I would feel completely remiss if I didn't share it with you.

Here's the info from Youtube, followed by the incredible video:
Kseniya Simonova is a Ukrainian artist who just won "Ukraine's Got Talent." She uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination, and "sand painting" skills to interpret Germany's invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII.

More to come, including a play by play of iPhonegate 2009!

XOXO - Christine

Kevin Keller: FunnyorDie.com Sensation

2009-10-06T01:23:00.004-04:00

Hey bunnies, though I love you all DEARLY, I am far too drained to post any fabulous life updates tonight. And thus, I give you "Kevin Keller," a video made by one of my high school friends for a recent FunnyorDie.com contest:

Kevin Keller - watch more funny videos

Unfortunately, his video lost by a measly 29 votes to the following video, but it's hilarious nonetheless:

Barely Legal Paralegal - watch more funny videos

And as a bonus, here's my favorite video from this week's Funny or Die contest...you'll, um, see why...you know, minus the Crisco, foot licking, and ass play:

The Pinky Song - watch more funny videos

Vote HERE!

Alright, time for this girl to go to bed...more to come tomorrow!

XOXO - Christine

Another cray-zee bitch...

2009-10-02T00:12:00.003-04:00

Oh god. Back story: Boy has girlfriend. Boy tells girlfriend repeatedly that he is heading to Europe for two weeks. Girlfriend doesn't listen and subsequently freaks the fuck out when Boy fails to reply to her flurry of texts and emails. Girlfriend realizes that she is a dumbass. Boy dumps her anyway. This video doesn't require sound. Enjoy:

And now I'm going to run around town like a smug motherfucker, because I am nowhere near as insane as this chick or Amanda from yesterday's post. Success!

Hope you all have fabulous Fridays!

XOXO - Christine

This is why guys think girls are NUTS...

2009-09-30T00:49:00.011-04:00

Thanks to Diana who sent this beast of a forward to me a month or two ago. The girl in this tale makes me feel approximately 89% better all of my poor choices.

Back story: Boy meets girl (who seems normal). Boy hooks up with girl. Girl quickly unravels and becomes certifiably insane. This conversation takes place via BBM over the course of A WEEK AND A HALF; I kind of guessed as to where one day ended and another began. The "Steph" in question is Amanda's friend, who is apparently also bff with Aaron's ex. It's long, but definitely worth the read. Enjoy!

Day 1:
Amanda: Was last night weird
Aaron: Weird? Just a little – your big sister is bff with my ex-gf
Amanda: No I mean us sleeping together
Amanda: I'm sorry though about the whole steph thing. I now can imagine how that would be weird
Aaron: I mean it was weird just cause the red eyes I took during the week caught up to me and the fact we saw steph/chelsea who I associate with ex-gf
Amanda: I'm sorry. Ill def remember that in the future..they're some of my good friends but no need to all hang out together
Aaron: No worries
Amanda: K well have a good day at work
Amanda: And safe trip to boston and san fran
Aaron: Thanks
Amanda: Ugh Thanks! Talk to you later this week
Amanda: If not, that's cool too
Aaron: We'll talk, have a good week at work
Amanda: If you don't want to hang out, its cool
Aaron: We'll talk – just busy at work – and it’s awkward w/steph.
Amanda: Ok - I didn't know you still had feelings for you exgf. I'd rather not be involved in all that
Aaron: Alright, well we'll talk when I get back from san fran
Amanda: I mean do you?
Aaron: Sure
Amanda: Ok well I'm sure we'll talk at some point. Take care
Aaron: We'll talk - good luck with the new job this week
Amanda: And I didn't realize it would be that weird for you
Amanda: Thanks - take care

Day 2:
Amanda: I was in your building this morning!
Aaron: Here in midtown?
Amanda: Noo your apt! One of our clients is marshalls and a sales rep lives there. We had to pick her up for a meeting in our office
Amanda: Very random
Amanda: Anyway thought I'd tell you
Aaron: Sorry - meeting - yah, very random
Amanda: Hey - are you free to talk later
Aaron: Hey - I'm getting crushed
Aaron: Got to get a memo out at 7
Aaron: Then a dinner uptown
Aaron: And then I leave at 3am for boston
Amanda: No worries. When are you back from san francisco
Aaron: Thursday night/friday morning
Amanda: Okay we can talk then or whenever Good luck with everything this week
Amanda: And have a safe trip to boston and sf
Aaron: Yah, of course
Aaron: Thanks
Amanda: The reason why I was concerned is because I wanted to make sure you still wanted to talk
Aaron: Hey - do wanna talk. - I'm sorry just super busy
Amanda: Don't worry about today being busy. I was just concerned about you still being upset about the steph thing
Amanda: Ill talk to you on friday. Just know that I wanna talk and I'm still interested
Aaron: Alright, let's friday
Aaron: *talk
Amanda: Sounds good

Day 3:
Amanda: Hope san fran is good. Just went to the boat basin w. Friends and people I work with
Aaron: San fran is good - lots of work unfortunately. Glad you made it to the basin - good place
Amanda: I actually met up w my ex and his friends who is going out with one of girls I work with
Amanda: My ex suggested it. Haha so I thought of you
Aaron: Oh yikes
Amanda: it was an awkward night
Amanda: oh well
Amanda: K good luck with the work and get home safely!
Aaron: Thanks
Aaron: Have a goodnight
Amanda: You too. I'm excited to see you
Amanda: It better happen this weekend
Amanda: K or maybe not
Aaron: Hey - we'll talk friday
Amanda: Ok - but I'd guess I'd like to know if you wanna hang out again
Amanda: I'm guessing then we'll just talk about that on friday?
Amanda: K goodnight

Day 4:
Amanda: Sorry about yesterday.
Amanda: We can talk on friday - k?
Amanda: Aaron?
Amanda: Hey
Amanda: is everything ok?
Amanda: Hey - why haven't you responded
Aaron: Amanda, I don't think it's a good idea to see each other again.
Amanda: Ok why
Amanda: Is that what you wanted to talk to me about
Aaron: Just you're relation to steph is too close to my ex-gf and I don't think it'd work out
Amanda: I know
Amanda: But I enjoyed getting a drink with you and I think its a shame this is going to get in the way
Aaron: Well, I know, but right now it's not a good time
Amanda: Why is that
Amanda: I totally understand I'm just wondering
Aaron: I work a lot at the moment which makes me skeptical for overcoming the fact that your close friends are very close to an ex-gf of mine of 3 years
Aaron: This isn't a science; I just don't think it's a good idea
Amanda: Aaron, I seriously understand - and empathize with you a lot. While I am only going to be here this summer, I'm moving here for good in january. I didn't want anything serious this summer - just wanted to see someone.
Amanda: I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I'd love to see you when I move here - maybe things will be different
Aaron: Alright, when you move here let's see where things stand, but I'm sorry, right now isn't the time
Amanda: K - well I hope its the right time for me then. Have a great summer

Day 5:
Amanda: At the boat basin haha
Amanda: K bye
Aaron: Have fun
Aaron: K
Amanda: Well I know you don't wanna talk to me anymore - that's why I said 'k bye'
Amanda: One last thing - its good your not seeing me til jan.
Amanda: With the weight and all...
Aaron: I'm just at work - that's all
Aaron: Don't worry about it
Amanda: :-)
Amanda: I can't believe you don't wanna see me anymore
Amanda: K bye. Just know that I understand where your coming from with the steph thing
Amanda: But you're missing out on a great girl
Amanda: Goodnight

Day 6:
Amanda: Are you still at work
Amanda: ?
Aaron: Yah - still here
Amanda: Man I'm sorry. My best friends surprised me and are visiting this weekend. They aren't moving to the city for another 2 weeks but knew I've been lonely - they're amazing. Come out and meet us!
Amanda: K I'm guessing that's a no.
Amanda: Ok I'm not going to continue to drunk text you...have a good night slash I wish you didn't make the decision that you did
Amanda: ?
Amanda: The decision makes me sad
Amanda: Are you alive
Amanda: This is just rude.
Amanda: I'm home - gnight
Amanda: Seriously is everything ok
Amanda: I$

Day 7:
Amanda: I'm sorry about last night
Amanda: Hi - my dad wanted to smoke hookah for fathers day so I brought him to le souk
Amanda: Goood times....
Aaron: That's a good place to go - bet he liked it
Amanda: He's loving out - he loves cigars so its right up his alley
Aaron: Very cool
Amanda: I wanna see you at some point. This is ridic
Amanda: I really think it doesn't make sense that we can't just hang out to get to know one another
Amanda: Without steph - just the two of us
Amanda: What do you think
Aaron: I'm super busy
Aaron: At work now actually
Amanda: Oh na
Amanda: Oh man I'm sorry
Amanda: Good luck with work - ill talk to you later
Aaron: K
Amanda: I'm moving down to the financial district this week
Amanda: ah sorry wrong person - I've been smoking all day. Out of it
Amanda: Are you still at work
Aaron: Yup
Amanda: Wow - go home
Amanda: I mean when can u go home
Aaron: Probably midnight or one
Amanda: I feel bad
Amanda: For you
Aaron: Don't
Aaron: I signed up for it
Amanda: true - and it sounds very impressive
Amanda: I'm starting to pack my stuff up. Moving to battery park to live with my gfs at end of the week.
Amanda: I've been lonely without them ha. They'll all be here by july
Aaron: Cool - listen - I'm super busy
Aaron: I gotta focus
Amanda: Ok sorry - later

Day 8:
Amanda: Hey - sorry for interupting. But I think you're right, we shouldn't hang out
Amanda: K so goodnight and good luck with the work
Amanda: Is that okay
Amanda: Ok you're working so I'm interpreting that as a yes

Day 9:
Amanda: Did you get my bbm yesterday
Aaron: Yah, I got it late - look super busy - I got a presentation in London on Wednesday
Amanda: Good luck with the presentation
Amanda: And enjoy london
Amanda: Hey - when are you leaving
Amanda: K still working. Good luck
Amanda: Hey - the reason why I don't wanna hang out is because you're never gonna be around. I know your ridiculously busy with work and I wanna hang out with someone on a consistent basis
Amanda: I'm sure you're still working but I just wanted to tell you my reasoning
Amanda: K bye
Amanda: Can you at least respond
Aaron: Listen - look - you're right I work a lot
Aaron: I'm actually on a conference call
Amanda: Plus to be honest I'm offended about the steph thing - you didn't even want to get to know one another before not hanging out
Amanda: I know I'm high maintenence in that I want someone to be there - and I'm guessing that's not gonna happen with you
Amanda: So you work a lot and I don't want that - it doesn't make sense for me
Amanda: Anyway, you're working. I'm going to someones to watch a movie
Amanda: Have a good night and safe trip to london
Aaron: Ok - thanks, night
Amanda: do you agree with me in not hanging out
Aaron: yah, it's best
Amanda: best because of work or steph?
Aaron: Both
Amanda: The steph thing doesn't make sense - you wouldn't be seeing her, you'd be seeing me.
Amanda: Listen - I'm normally not like this with guys. At this point, I would normally just move on and not even think twice - but for some reason I'm interested in you
Amanda: I wish the steph thing didn't bother you - if that was the case, I'd get over the working fairly quickly
Amanda: anyway, I know that I want hang out with you - its bothering me that you don't feel the same or don't wanna make any acommodations with work
Amanda: Good luck with the presentation!

Day 10:
Amanda: Fyi - I am currently 'babysitting' clients in cali.

Day 11:
Amanda: Are you in london?
Amanda: The reason why I'm asking is cuz I'm actually there now
Amanda: My dad had to go for biz - and surprised me with a plane ticket. My bf lena lives in germany - she came to visit - we just got home

Day 12:
Amanda: Hey -
Amanda: I don't know uf
Amanda: If you got this but I'm in london with my dad. Leaving tomorrow morning
Amanda: Anyway, hope things are good
Amanda: Are you back in ny
Amanda: If u don't wanna hang out when I get back please let me know

Day 13:
Amanda: Hey - let's meet up tonight. Steph's at the beach and I'm out with my other friends
Amanda: Yes or no? Let me know
Amanda: Hello?
Amanda: ?? Can you answer
Amanda: I'm confused
Amanda: Aaron?
Amanda: All I have to say is you're missing out - ha
Amanda: Seriously
Amanda: Are u alive
Amanda: Hi - can you just say you don't wanna hang out anymore so I'm not confused
Amanda: Its actually really rude that you haven't responded
Amanda: What's wrong with you - do you mind just manning up and saying you don't wanna hang out
Amanda: I've honestly never encountered anyone that's been this rude. Its weird
Amanda: I'm assuming that you're not going to respond.
Amanda: With that said, you don't know anything about me and for some reason you didn't want to get to know anything about me. What you should know is I'm a great girl and don't deserve to be treated like this
Amanda: And, in the end, its unfortunate because your missing out
Amanda: *you're
Amanda: Good bye and good luck
Amanda: Aaron?

Jesus motherfucking Christ, I think I finally understand where the notion that all bitches are crazy comes from...

Alright, I'm going to go watch some action movies, eat some meat, and man myself as much as possible (without becoming a total bull dyke) so that I never devolve into this pathetic and somewhat derranged "Amanda" character...awesome.

XOXO - Christine

Aaannd I'm back!

2009-09-29T22:11:00.003-04:00

Oh bunnies, so sorry to have left you hanging for a week, but this past weekend was pretty stressful with my big exam and all of my Sunday Funday activities (french toast + football = totally crazy times).

To make it up to you, I give you It was over when..., a mildly entertaining new website that details some of the more humorous aspects of relationship's demise. Here's a screenshot to give you an idea of what it's all about:This screenshot is particularly fitting, as I'm currently watching a show about polygamy on tv. All I have to say about that is, "bitch, please." The only way I'm sharing a man is via threesomes, and that's probs not happening, like ever.

Related: Today I checked out that app on facebook that breaks down the demographics of your facebook friends. Results? I am friends with 13 Andrews, and 69% of my friends are guys. Check it out:Kind of cool.

Alright, more to come!

XOXO - Christine

Celebrities: They blackout just like us!

2009-09-23T15:29:00.006-04:00

One of the best things I've seen lately. I was literally LOL'ing at some points. Enjoy:

The second part is even better. If only I could have a crew of people to prevent me from getting hurt/arrested every time I binge drink...

And here's a hilarious video of Ben Affleck getting frisky during an interview in Montreal. I have approximately 1,000 times MORE respect for him now:

XOXO - Christine

Oh, and then this happened...

2009-09-23T02:05:00.007-04:00

So, this past weekend I spent a day or two in NH and then traveled back to Boston for some Saturday night fun. I've been pretty stressed out lately because I have tons of schoolwork and a major licensing exam coming up, so I thought some big, strong, man loving could really help me decompress, so Drunk Me decided that this was the best option:

That's right friends, I searched for a "sloppy make outs" iPhone app, and guess what?? There is NOT an app for that. Blasphemy, I say! Don't worry kids, I plan on suing Apple for emotional distress and false advertising immediately...or you know...when I get around to it.

More emotional pain and distress to follow.

XOXO - Christine

80's Video Dating Montage

2009-09-22T13:47:00.023-04:00

In case you haven't seen it yet, I present to you the video that's been sweeping the interwebs this past week.

The best part of this video is that every single one of them speaks in complete monotone. It's kind of disconcerting when they're trying to tell you how much they love fun. Some select quotations and photos, for those of you who can't watch videos at work (my commentary is in blue):

"I'm not having fun doing this."

"Hi, my name is Mike, and if you're sitting there, watching this tape, smoking your cigarette, press the fast-forward button, because I don't smoke, and I don't like people who do smoke."

"I'm a fashion photographer. And just, sugar, and spice, and all those things that are nice."

"I'm looking for the goddess. Are you the goddess? Who is the goddess? The goddess is the woman, is a woman, is any woman, is all women..."

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a woman healthy, wealthy and wise...that's why you're wiser than me. It's Steven! I'm looking for a trendy girl with a simple smile, wait, it says here, oh, excuse me...vivacious, foxy, a figure that is sexy, slim, tight, excellent legs."

"Hi, I'm Maurice, I'm an executive by day, and a wild man by night. I'm not afraid to get sand on my tuxedo if you're not afraid to mess your hair up a little when I take the top down." -Wild was pronounced "w-hild," the way Stewie says "whip" on Family Guy.

"Hi, I'm Monroe. You've probably already noticed that I have incredibly blue eyes." - Actually friend, they look pretty dead and brown to me...also: "I like to wear bright socks, and I'm an avid Clevela-Cleveland Browns fan." - Bright socks? Craaa-zy!

"Hi, my name is Phil; most of my friends call me Big Phil." - Oh Irony...

"Hi, I'm Fred! I'm really looking for somebody I can feel special about. I don't encounter people like that often, and I'm hoping you're one of them!" - I bet you don't Fred, I bet you don't...

"I am a 25-year subscriber to both Playboy and The New Yorker magazine." - Does he look strangely familiar to anyone else?

"At night, I operate a Damsel in Distress hotline, I guess you could call me a knight!"

"No fatties, no hamsters, no dopers, no smokers, no alcoholics, no Donna Juanitas, no poseurs, no crazies..." - WTF is a "Hamster" in dating terminology?

"Life's a playground, and I want someone to play with..."

"I'm interested in most phases of data processing." - And this is why no one likes ginger boys...

"Cause I really have a zany sense of humor." - I'm sorry friend, but the only thing "zany" about you is that god-awful ginger hair.

"Type A, I'm not, comfortable, caring, and serious about a relationship, I am." -Okay, Yoda...

"And I do consider myself a refined valllley duuude. Are you that woman? If so, pleeease give me a call."

The guy below is the only one who would've been able to steal my heart, were I cruising these dating videos back in the day...you know, minus the balding. Seriously though, check out his stats, he's tall, blonde, and enjoys sailing, dancing, and adventure. Too bad he's probably a downtrodden middle-ager by now...sigh.

Dear life,

Thank you for the invention of YouTube.

Love always,

Christine

"We're Gonna Hunt Chris Brown Tonight"

2009-09-22T13:41:00.005-04:00

Hilarious video spoofing both Chris Brown and his Larry King appearance, where he claimed not to remember beating Rihanna, and the new Kanye, Jay-Z, and Rihanna song entitled, "Run This Town." All of the impersonations are spot on. Enjoy:

Also, if you'd like to get really fucked up this weekend, try playing the Chris Brown/Rihanna drinking game that I made up last spring...it's pretty straightforward; you just pound a beer each time one of their songs plays in the club/bar. Tasteless pop culture blackout to follow.

More to come.

XOXO - Christine

Looks like there's trouble in paradise...

2009-09-21T03:00:00.007-04:00

When people ask me why I have a twitter account, I usually reference my blog and the instant photo-sharing fun. However, tonight, that's all changed. My new favorite reason to be a proud member of the "twitterverse?" Try being on the front lines of a certain celeb's inevitable return to rehab. Check it out:Looks like somebody's headed for a "relapse." I put relapse in quotation marks, because is it really a relapse when you (ostensibly) never stopped in the first place?

Also for your viewing pleasure, a lovely old school photo of our favorite Hill's villian (sans creepy flesh colored beard) and his old classmate, a certain mini mogul you may know better as Michelle Tanner. Apparently, Spencer made $50,000 when he sold this photo to a tabloid back in the day. Good to know he was always the stand up guy that he is today...

Awesome times.

XOXO - Christine

In case I ever decide to switch teams...

2009-09-20T23:54:00.005-04:00

So today, my dear friend Ali and I dragged our hungover asses out of bed for a little lunch date. We had a fabulous time switching tables to follow the sun and judging the Asian tourists on segways, but before long, it was time to part ways. She headed out to watch some good old fashioned football at Bobby's place, and I meandered around Faneuil to do a little browsing.

Well friends, the browsing went quite well, until I dropped 3 hundo and it turned into a full-fledged shopping trip. After hitting up an assortment of stores, I realized that I had to pee, so I made my way down to the public restrooms below Quincy Market...and that's where things got awkward...check it out via the mass text I sent to my friends:

Me: A female janitor in Faneuil just smacked my ass, told me her name was Ida, and motioned that I have a beautiful face. WTF is my life.

Here are the text convos that followed:

Matt: Haha. Awesome, that's what it is.

Ali: Hahahahaha eww. Most action you got all weekend ?!
Me: Bitchhh

Bobby: You have a prison guard and a janitor...one to cuff you and the other to clean up

Jill: HAHA sorry but that is way too funny and insanely creepy.
Me: Yeah, well I didn't spot any prison tats and she wasn't wearing flannel, so I probs would've adopted her as my new hispanic gma if she hadn't awkwardly hit on me while I was washing my hands haha.
Jill: She screwed up that chance haha

Jenn: Hahaha that is incredible. Well I guess if [redacted] doesn't work out, Ida is obvi interested!

Mike: Yea yea!! U get her number?
Me: Haha, no, but I think she tried to get my info. I couldn't really hear her over the hand dryer, but she was gesturing wildly at me.

Even Anna piped in from her grandmother's bday party, where she was three sheets to the wind thanks to her Russian heritage and a fully stocked vodka bar:

Anna: Sounds like all positive things haha. I really don't know, I'm in the hole and at a party with 58 people - all couples. I think I win.
Me: Hahahaha. Yeah, at least I was almost part of a lovely multi-racial, multi-generational relationship involving flannel and golf haha.
Anna: See, that is starting to look really good to me.

Love my life.

XOXO - Christine

The gift that keeps on giving...

2009-09-20T23:23:00.005-04:00

So, the other day, I logged into my Match.com account to find the following message:

"NICE LEGGS"

That's it, that's all it said. Two words, one of them spelled wrong, no punctuation, ALL CAPS. Upon further investigation, I discovered that said message came from this gem:

That's right, my exceedingly charming new suitor is a lazy-eyed 41-year old whose dating headline reads, "I'M NOT A PLAYER, ARE YOU??"

Read below for unedited excerpts from his profile, and my response to his delightful message:

About me:
IM LOOKING 4 A WOMAN THATS NOT ON HERE LOOKING 4 ATTENTION ETC, I WANNA MEET A WOMAN THATS NOT MISS RIGHT NOW MAYBE WE CAN START A GREAT FRIENDSHIP THAT ADDS UP TO SOMETHING REALLY COOL SO GIVE ME A SHOUT TY!!

My job:
im on here to meet a nice , attractive , sexy woman to start a friendship that turns into maybe lovers, a steady gf or maybe even marriage OUCHH Llolol i was on here a few years ago and had a AWESOME time meeting women!

My ethnicity:
are u kidding? moreee ? lol, i guess youd have to scroll back and read what i typed b4 that says im here to date, meet new friends and have alot of fun like i did on here a few years back, ciao

My religion:
is this a job interview ? i wish we got paid 4 all this typing! send me a email or a wink and see where it goes ! sounds good to me , im tired typing lolol

My education:
are u kidding now its time to hear from you, ive typed enuff to work 4 a local newspaper woulndt u agree?

Favorite hot spots:
ny, calif , cape cod , canada, russian. england. texas, vancouver! i wanna go to ireland b4 i die lmaooo

Favorite things:
i like blues, rock, steak, chicken, chinese food , mexican, thress co lol janets sexy legs lolol, i love outdoor concerts, great woods aka comcast center, ss musio circus ,, harborlights

My Pets:
what else do you wanna know? this is like a job resume lol, anyways like i said im looking 4 a normal, sexy woman that knows what she wants in life , has no drama but im not perfect either so lets get a drink or a coffee and get together

And here it is, our incredible back and forth...enjoy.

Lazy-eye: NICE LEGGS

Me: Great pick up line...not creepy at all. P.S. No thanks.

Lazy-eye: miss picky on the internet? LMAO

Me: The last thing I need in my life is a 41-year old man who doesn't understand the proper usage of capitalization. They're called standards, and, shocker, I have them; in fact, most girls my age do. Good luck finding a 21-year old "4 FRIENDSHIP AND SOMETHING REALLY COOL."

P.S. When attempting to begin a conversation with a woman, perhaps try this crazy new approach where you say hello and mention her interests before getting into creepshow mode. Just a thought.

Lazy-eye: well taken, thunder thighs lololol

Me: Wow, definitely going to cry myself to sleep over that one...

And then I blocked him. Good times on the interwebs.

More to come.

XOXO - Christine

Miles Fisher does it again...

2009-09-18T01:37:00.002-04:00

So not only is Miles Fisher a talented singer and actor, he also has a blog! What kind of blog you ask? Well, a blog of very few words and many, many images. Concept: Each post is themed with photos relating to said theme. It's pretty much awesome.

Enjoy: http://leslie-miles.blogspot.com/

XOXO - Christine

Spoof of Valkyrie

2009-09-18T01:35:00.001-04:00

Hitler is outraged when he learns that Oasis has broken up for good:

There are several more on YouTube involving Hitler's hunt for Bud Light Lime, among others.

XOXO - Christine

Why you don't take a man shopping...

2009-09-18T01:30:00.002-04:00

Via my friend Rich's facebook page:

More to follow.

XOXO - Christine

MA Men...Mad Men Spoof ft. Joy McIntyre

2009-09-18T01:26:00.002-04:00

Love it:

MA Men from Joey McIntyre

XOXO - Christine

Stuff Hipsters Hate

2009-09-15T22:47:00.006-04:00

Hilarious new website; kind of along the lines of StuffWhitePeopleLike.com, but with a stronger focus on hipsterdom. Check out this screenshot:
XOXO - Christine