So, it's Wednesday night and Jenn and I are OBVIOUSLY watching the American Idol results show. I have to admit, I was into it for the first seven minutes, during which we listened to Paula Abdul blathering on about who-knows-what while decked out in a bedazzled tank, followed by Simon spouting his normal level of douchebaggery. Hell, I was even into the weekly Ford "music video," even though it was awkward and had nothing to do with selling cars. However, I draw the line when the nine hopefuls BUTCHER one of the most beloved songs of all time.I'm clearly talking about Journey's prodigious, "Don't Stop Believin." I mean, WHY WHY WHY would you EVER think that it is acceptable to do a singalong to this glorious piece of musical heaven!!??? I'm confused, because Paula and Simon are constantly telling contestants to steer clear of Michael "freakshow" Jackson's most well known songs, since they are "untouchable." Well, you know what American Idol? You know who else is untouchable? MOTHERFUCKING JOURNEY.
Alright, it's over, thank god. I can stop clawing my eyes out and go back to awkwardly laughing every time The Seacrest leads the blind dude around the stage. Jenn just made an excellent point regarding Sir Sightless...do you think those Ford videos they do take forever because they have to position him every time he needs to move? I personally think that they just tell him to dance and then everyone else has to just suck it up and flail along with him.All I know is that I need something big to balance out the suicidal tendencies I'm feeling right now due to the early departure of Norman Gentle and Oil Rig Bang Bus. "Something big" equals Hottie Chris, Finding Emo, The Widower, and Anoop sticking around for another week. I'd also like to see more of Sir Sightless and Lil Rounds, but obviously only for unintended comic relief.
Alright...the bottom three consists of Anoop, Big Red, and Rockin' Robin. All I have to say is that OBVIOUSLY Sir Sightless is safe. I mean when he sang, "Just The Way You Are," last week, it was like he was pleading with US, to love HIM, despite his "challenge." I really love how all of the judges skirt around his blindness and use politically correct euphamisms when discussing his performances. If I were a judge, I'd be the one standing up shouting, "EVERYONE, CHECK OUT THE BLIND GUY PLAYING PIANO AND TENETIVELY STROKING ANOOP'S SHOULDER AS HE LEAVES THE STAGE! HE'S THE GREATEST BLIND GUY EVER!!"
Oh no. Now Lady GaGa is onstage butchering her own song, "Poker Face," which I loved up until this very moment. I think I need to go take a valium before I try and dive into the tv to throttle the producers of this godforsaken show.Night bitches.
XOXO - Christine
P.S. Rockin' Robin is GONZO. Totally deserved, especially since she forgot the words to her final song. Woohoo!
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