Threesomes and Balconies and Bedwetting...Oh My?

Odd Job: Hey, how was the weekend?
Me: Um, get ready for the best story evaaa.
Odd Job: Oh yeah?
Me: It was beyond ridic. I’ll do my best to give you the condensed version.
Odd Job: Can’t wait.
Me: So, the girls and I went out for Erin’s bday this weekend. We did dins in back bay and then hit up Market, by Faneuil.
Odd Job: Never been, sounds fun.
Me: Yeah, it was. So as midnight approached, the girls and I made our way from the big room downstairs to the front bar, so Erin could take the obligatory birthday shots. As we’re walking, I spot JDubs, my former hook up of “I hope you get the herp and dife” fame. We give each other an awkward hug and I tell him I’ll see him later.
Odd Job: Wow, talk about random.
Me: So we get up to the bar’s roof deck later on, and of course, the first person we see is JDubs. I proceed to make his life as awk as humanly possible by telling his friends the story of how he lied to me about going to Harvard when we first met, among others. Eventually I run out of awkward things to say, they realize they’re not getting anywhere with Jenn, and they head downstairs. This leaves me with JDubs, and his friend TG, who had just shown up after texting me to meet up all night. Full disclosure: TG and I hooked up once last winter after a rousing night of karaoke. Apparently my amateur rendition of Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend” really did it for him
Odd Job: HAHAHA
Me: anyway, as soon as his friends leave, he (JDubs) is ALL over me. I'm like WTF and start rolling with TG instead, to get away from JDubs. Unfortunately, JDubs sees this as a golden opportunity to suggest a THREESOME.
Odd Job: shut the fuck up
Me: Yup, second guy in two weeks to throw that out there…
Odd Job: What a jackass
Me: Yeah, so he keeps pushing this, and I'm like NOOOOO haha. Eventually, aka after an hour or two, he realizes it's not happening and then gets pissed. He tells me to go hook up with TG and leave him alone because, “he has nothing else to say to me.”
Odd Job: HAHAHAHA and you said.......ok see ya biatch!!!
Me: haha, pretty much. anyway, closing time comes, and I get a text from TG, saying that he’s already at my building.
Odd Job: that’s random.
Me: Yeah, so I wound up walking home with this kid Joe, who is turning 27 tomorrow, and who gave me a mini lecture on relationships. He did this, because he was fresh from the split with his girlfriend, who had dumped him at the bar when she saw him talking to Anna. Awesome Times.
Odd Job: Wow
Me: anyway, I get home, and TG and I hook up.
Odd Job: Of course.
Me: ON MY BALCONY
Odd Job: HAHAHAHAA
Me: ON HANOVER, WITH PASSERBY WHO HAD NO IDEA
Odd Job: amazing
Me: until I saw Jenn coming down the street with all of our friends and we ran inside haha.
Odd Job: Holy shit, fucking crazy. I bet that was awesome.
Me: after that, we all went to pompeii for food with everyone. We ran into 5 boys from school. And then TG made me take some crazy route home b/c he was convinced that he saw some kid who wanted to kick his ass.
Odd Job: good work.
Me: TG tried to convince me to come home with him, to MEDFORD, because he had his new bed being delivered in the morning. There’s no way that was happening, so he wound up passing out in my room in all of his clothes.
Odd Job: Right.
Me: So in the morning, I wake up as he’s getting out of my bed. He just looks at me and goes, “uhh, Christine, I think you’re going to be mad at me…” I followed his gaze to my bed and yelled, “OH MY GOD, DID YOU PEE MY BED!??” The answer? YES. YES HE DID.
Odd Job: AAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: And the best part? After he said that, he goes, “Well at least it wasn’t in my brand new bed!”
Odd Job: Your life is fucking incredible.
Me: I gave him clothes to go home in; he said I was a good friend haha.
Odd Job: now that's a fucking walk of shame, walking home in girl’s clothes.
Me: Nono, I gave him shorts and flip flops that belonged to a guy I used to work with, who I had a thing with for like three weeks a looong time ago. I’ve told him to come pick up his shit at least a half dozen times, so it’s his own fault that they now belong to a bed wetter haha.
Odd Job: again, your life = amazing
Me: Just another day in the life…anyway, that was pretty much it.
Odd Job: awesome story, awesome life. It always entertains me.
Me: my life is a fucking JOOOOKE
Odd Job: hey, are you happy??? Because that’s all that matters.
Me: True story.

THE END

I hope you all enjoyed that little glimpse into my joke of a life as much as I enjoyed living it...

More to come this weekend, especially since I'll be hanging out with all of these boys again at Erin and Leah's super sweet 24th bday party...can't wait!!

XOXO - Christine