Life Updates: Man Friend Edition

I don't have much to say right now, because I have an insane amount of work to do for Thursday, but here's my attempt at a post. Thanks to my various former man friends for reappearing this week and making my worlds collide.

#1 Remember Comedy Club from way back last December/January? Remember how he had just been dumped by his girlfriend of three years? Who he lived with? Well friendlies, guess who I sat next to in class last week....that's right, the ex herself. I sat through two full classes with her before I finally couldn't contain myself any longer and blurted out, "Did you used to work at the improv place? And date Comedy Club?" As it turns out, she's funny and nice and I take back anything I ever said about her old haircut. Poor CC, I hope he didn't have a mild heart attack when he saw our newly formed facebook friendship on his news feed...

#2 So this past Saturday I took a 4-hour long licensing exam and it was approximately 0% fun. Afterward, I dropped an insane amount of money at Sephora, bought a new LBD at Lord & Taylor, and hung out with Anna before deciding it would be a good night to veg out on the couch. Aaaaand then my plans changed. Turns out my dear friends the Bed Wetter and JDubs of "get the herp and dife" fame were in town and wanted to come over with one of my other friends. After squabbling for a bit, I finally gave in.

Being the slowest human beings alive, they took their sweet time getting to my place, and when I opened my door, it was just Bdubs and Jdubs, no friend. As soon as I saw that, I knew what they were up to (and by they I mean Jdubs). Yes indeed, it was "try to coerce Christine into a MMF threesome" night at my place. They begun their delicate act of seduction by telling my how incredible I smelled. I believe B's exact words were, "Yeah, you smell awesome. If I smelled you in a bar I would totally hit on you!" After I lightly rebuffed these advances, they backed off for a few minutes, only to pounce as soon a I sat down on my bar stool to look something up on my macbook. As I opened my computer, I felt B's hand on my shoulder and J's hand on my leg. At this point, I firmly told them that it was not happening. Love you, but no.

They finally accepted this to be the case, and B went to pass out in what he thought was my bed. Nope, turns out it was Jenn's bed. When I noticed this, I had a flashback to the last time he peed my bed and freaked. I tried to get J to help me drag him out of Jenn's room, but he told me, "No threesome, no help," so I had to pretty much haul B out of there all by myself. Unfortunately, in the process of lugging B around the apartment, I managed to forget about his little problem with bed wetting and put him to bed in my room.

After that, J and I stayed up chatting (we got past me telling him to get the herp and dife and him being an asshole in general). I went in at one point to check on B, and sure enough, HE PEED MY BED AGAIN. Ugh, literally shoot me. Luckily, Jenn was out of town for the night, so I just slept in her room, but still, bed wetting is a pain in the ass. The next morning I woke the boys and announced that B's new home would be my alley and that he was forever banned from ALL of my apartment furniture, including during our party this Friday night. I think he'll be okay out there, especially since he'll have Homeless Meredith and her head full of blankets to keep him warm.

AWESOME LIFE. Hope your Saturday nights were bed wetter and MMF threesome free and I'll update some more later this week!

XOXO - Christine