Stuff Hipsters Hate

Hilarious new website; kind of along the lines of StuffWhitePeopleLike.com, but with a stronger focus on hipsterdom. Check out this screenshot:
XOXO - Christine

My new favorite YouTuber

I want to be biffles with this kid. We could spend our days visiting Apple stores, making awesome lip syncing videos, and frolicking through Harlem eating ice cream. Check him out:





XOXO - Christine

"Hanging Out the Window"

Probably one of the cutest/funniest things ever. In case you can't watch videos at work, it's a dog "rapping" while he hangs his head out the window of a moving car. LOVE IT.

More to follow.

XOXO - Christine

In Case You Missed It...

Just when you thought the biggest drama of the night was when Shakira and Pink showed up in the same dress, major shit went down! (Side note: I thought that this was a huge issue and that designers wouldn't lend a dress to more than one starlet? I suppose I should catch up on my stylist know-how with a marathon sesh of the Rachel Zoe Project...)
In case you missed it, Kanye ganked the mic from Taylor Swift when she won Best Female Video and said the following:

Not only was she shaking and near tears, but she had to PERFORM about twenty minutes later. So fucked up. Thankfully, he lost the Best Male Video award to T.I. and Rihanna's "Live Your Life," and the mention of his nomination elicited boos from all of Radio City Music Hall. The best part? He and his stripperesque girlfriend Amber Rose were kicked to the curb...I'm guessing it was partially because of what he did to Taylor, but mostly because they showed up looking like this:
Later in the night, after Beyonce won Best Video of the Year, she invited Taylor back onto the stage to give her back her moment. I never thought I'd say it, but Beyonce is as classy as they come. Here's the footage:


And on that note, I present you with the "Gay Fish" clip from South Park. The underlying joke is about fish sticks, and how if you like "fish sticks" (sounds like "fish dicks"), then you must be a gay fish. As it turns out, Kanye West's ego is so big, that he just doesn't understand why people keep calling him a gay fish after he admits to enjoying the taste of fish sticks in his mouth. At the end of the episode, Cartman gives Butters a lecture about embracing who you really are (may have been the other way around), and Kanye decides that he must be a gay fish if everyone else says so, and makes moves to join his fellow fish...you'll see:


Also, check out what Lady Gaga showed up wearing:

Her date? Try Kermit the Frog...

AWKHAWK indeed.

Anyway, I hope you friendlies all had fun weekends and I'll update more as the week goes on!

XOXO - Christine

P.S. As always, feel free to comment and tell me what you think about the VMA's and all of the Kanye drama!

Mermaid Tractor Tranny Farm

No, that's not what Nicole Richie and Joel Madden named their newborn son, but it's damn sure close enough. The baby's name is actually Sparrow James Midnight Madden, and he joins sister Harlow Winter Kate as the newest addition to Hollywood's army of oddly-named children. Also on the list? Try these on for size:

Jason Lee - Pilot Inspektor..named after the Grandaddy song "He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot." Wow, thanks dad...

M.I.A. - Ickhyd

Nicolas Cage - Kal-el Coppola

Shannyn Sossaman & Dallas Clayton - Audio Science

Jools Norton & Jamie Oliver - Daisy Boo & Poppy Honey...well what do you expect from someone named Jools??

Toni Braxton - Diezel Ky...this kid better grow up to be some bad ass MMA fighter.

Heidi Klum & Seal - Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo...just when you thought Heidi Klum was perfect, she let her freak flag fly...

Geri Haliwell - Bluebell Madonna...Nice attempt to synthesize white trash and British pop culture in one name; bravo Baby Spice, bravo.

Drea De Matteo - Alabama Gypsy Rose

Paula Yates - Fifi-Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Trixie, & Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

Spike Lee - Satchel

Claudia Schiffer - Caspar...Seriously? Claudia Schiffer, get your shit together.

Rob Morrow - Tu...as in Tu Morrow...you know, like, "tomorrow?" Super awk.

T.I. - Messiah Ya’majesty & King C'Andre...honestly, I would expect nothing less from TIP.

Lisa Bonet & Jason Momoa - Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa...The name apparently has something to do with the baby being strong and brave and born on a dark, stormy night, and I think wolves being powerful? Either way, this kid is super fucked when it comes time for him to take his SATs.

George Foreman - Okay, so his kids had semi-normal names, except for the fact that ALL FIVE of the boys were named George (I-V), and the two girls were Freda George and Georgetta. Wow, just...WOW.

Sylvester Stallone - Sage Moon Blood...at least it's trendy now with vampires being "all the rage," as my mom would say.

David Duchovny - Kyd

Dan Cortese - Tabooger...WTF??

Oh, but dear readers, don't think that celebrities are the only ones getting in on the fun...remember that heartwarming story last summer about the 9-year old girl from New Zealand who wanted to change her name? Well, the court took custody of her for a day so she could have the opportunity to ditch, "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii" for a more suitable moniker.

Some other weird names that have made the cut (sans Hollywood parents):

O.crnia - This is the way that the girl's mother spelled "Oceania" when texting.

Violence - Did this kid swagger out the womb with some teardrops tattooed under his left eye??

Benson and Hedges - Twins named after the British cigarette brand...two words: Class-ayy!

Cinderella Beauty Blossom - How hilarious would it be if this girl turned out to be super goth or heinous looking??

Kaos - Much like "Violence," this child's parents probably spent much of their youth in detention.

Midnight Chardonnay - Hey Ali, if you ever accidentally get knocked up, I think this is what you should name the product of your late night booze & swim session! Almost as good as SEX FRUIT, which was thankfully rejected by the New Zealand judicial system.

Also blocked? Try Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Fat Boy, Satan, Adolf Hitler and 4Real, which a child's parents wanted to name him after seeing the sonogram and realizing just how "4Reals" having a baby is...oh to be a pregnant teenager...


Most hilarious rejected name: Keenan Got Lucky.

Best/Worst accepted name: Number 16 Bus Shelter. No, like, fo reals, this passed the test where gems such as "Metallica" failed. Nothing says "homeless lovers" quite like having "Bus Shelter" for a middle name. Perhaps we can hook Meredith up and she can name her child "Sketchy Alley," or "Apartment Building Lobby That I Broke Into." Just a thought...


Conclusion: We need to institute some kind of world-wide test before allowing people to procreate...I mean, I recognize that my life is enough of a joke that I should never be allowed to make babies (that, and the idea of pregnancy horrifies me), so why can't other people have a heart-to-heart with their genitals and say, "Gee whiz, I know I'm going to have sex for the first time ever tonight, and I'm like, 40, but dammit penis, I'm going to wrap you up tonight, because I'm a secure human being and I don't need to have some kid named, 'Keenan Got Lucky' running around to prove that I'm no longer a virgin!"


But then again, without lukewarm messes like these, we wouldn't have this fab website to look at when we're bored, now would we?

More to come.

XOXO - Christine

"King Curtis, nice doin business with you."

Thanks to Ali, we have found the extended version of the "Bacon Boy" clip. Enjoy!


Alright, back to my Wednesday night boozefest...

XOXO - Christine

OMFG, It's About Time!

One of my all time favorite movies ever is Boondock Saints, and they're FINALLY coming out with a sequel, entitled Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day. According to this trailer, it'll be hitting theaters on OCTOBER 30th. My birthday is October 28th...pretty sure that this is life's birthday present to me, much like in 2004 and 2007 when the Sox WON IT ALL on my bday. Though I'm skeptical of their replacement of Rocco and Willem Dafoe's character, I know that I'm going to fucking LOVE this sequel.

Enjoy:


XOXO - Christine

ABDC: Fierce Tranny Edition

As you all know, I love America's Best Dance Crew almost as much as I love Nutella and Coors Light, and without it, I might whither and die. You know what else I love? Trannies. Once I moved past my initial, "WTF?" moment years ago, I began to overlook the hot mess that is their collective life and really embrace the joy and hilarity that they bring to mine. That is why I was, as expecting celebrity couples say, "over the moon," when I saw these delightful friendlies on this season of ABDC...meet Vogue Evolution:

The fat one in pleather is obviously my favorite. I love that he has a permanent diva face, even when he's struggling to keep up with his splits and jumps. Here's their tape from week 1:

And here's their Beyonce tribute dance from week 2, which they predictably squealed about when told what their challenge would be:


LOVE THEM, too bad no one will ever live up to the love I had for those cloggers from last season...watch full episodes here: http://www.watchamericasbestdancecrew.net/

XOXO - Christine

Snuggie Sex

Thanks to Anna for sending me this incredible new website. Now I just need to smuggle a snuggie home from my lakehouse and make a few phone calls so I can try this out:
Yes Ma'am indeed! I particularly like the part about the subway grate. Methinks we should purchase a snuggie for Meredith and give her this handy-dandy guide? Perhaps then she would stop trying to kick in the front doors of all the apartment buildings in our neighborhood whilst using her "I need money" dance to distract people from the fact that she's a whiz at breaking and entering...just a thought.

More to come.

XOXO - Christine

"There's an app for that..."

Thanks to Diana for this HILARIOUS video. All I have to say is, "Enjoy."



And in case you haven't seen it yet, I present, Bacon Boy:



XOXO - Christine