"I'm on a horse..."

Ohhhhhh friends, do I have a fab-u-lous Friday afternoon story for you! While I'm writing it up in this here blog for you, please enjoy the following internet selections to keep you boredom at bay:

1. Isaiah Mustafa, aka the Old Spice man, as your voicemail greeting. And a link to his very intriguing Wikipedia page.

2. In addition, here is the just-released trailer for the movie, "The Town," which was filmed on location in Boston. As a resident of the North End, I often came home to flyers taped on my building with detailed filming schedules of when and where they'd be having car chases and errant explosions, and not to freak out when there was a large boom and a car speeding away. Fun facts? the building they pretend is a bank is actually a very nice and nearly brand new laundromat, and the street the cars speed up throughout the trailer? That's Margaret Street, where I lived when I first moved to Boston three years ago.

Also filmed on Margaret Street? Try the Boy Like Girls video for Hero/Heroine. I was actually home that day (a hungover Sunday) and heard this ridiculous hipster singing the same song over and over again. I was finally so annoyed that I threw on some real people clothes (aka not my dress from the night before), and stormed out of my building, smack into a massive video camera on a rolling track. I apologized to the guy behind the lens and wandered off to run some errands before returning and realizing that this wasn't some no-budget student film being taped. I mingled with the band for a bit, which was fun because I'd never heard of them and wasn't THAT fangirl. It turns out that the lead singer was sick and downing dayquil like is was his job, and he was just as unhappy doing 32 takes as I was listening to him. Overall, he was a very cool guy and the band couldn't have been nicer.

If you watch the video, look out for the scenes with the cab parked on a slight hill where the lead guy is saying goodbye to his girlfriend, because that's Margaret Street again! Very exciting stuff.


Anyway, that's it for now if I have a prayer of getting Wednesday night's ridiculousness posted before you all clock out for the day...

XOXO - Christine

Jacob Black, still a WILF...

Hey friends! Hope you guys all had lovely fourth of July weekends! I spent some time with my extended family in Maine and then a few days with family friends at my lake house. All in all, it was a really fun and relaxing weekend.

Upon my return to the city, Ali dragged Lauren and I, kicking and screaming (okay, so maybe we went willingly...), to see Twilight: Eclipse. As someone who's pretty anti-Twihardness as a whole, I have to say, I very much enjoyed it, though I think that was mostly due to a certain werewolves expertly sculpted abs...behold the glory:

Oh heyyyyy...

That's interesting, these jorts actually extend past his knees....could they be...real, live jeans?

The fact that I don't even like super ripped guys in real life is a testament to how dreamy Taylor Lautner's become since his early brush with stardom as a member of the rival family in "Cheaper by the Dozen 2." Oh yeah, I went there.

Honestly though, I still don't understand why anyone would pick Edward over Jake. I mean, forget the guys themselves, and let's focus on their families for a second. Sure the Cullens glitter in the sun, but they don't seem like very much fun, what with their errant visions and constant vigilantism. The werewolves on the other hand...now they're my kind of people. Bonfires, ghost stories, and running willy nilly through the woods? Morphing from hot, tan menfolk to big, beaslty werewolves? Sure trumps Edward, who seems to just morph from a glittery emo kid to even more of a pasty pansy.

Anyway, if you're a lady (or the gay), then I highly recommend you go see this cinematic "masterpiece" asap, if only to gawk at TayTay for two glorious hours and, you know, see what all of the hype is about. Go HERE if you'd like to read last November's review of/reaction to "New Moon," with even more pho-tos of this hottiehothottie.

Enjoy!

XOXO - Christine

Sorry for partying...

Hi friends!

So remember how I previously discussed my barriers to being a better blogger? And my first issue listed was the condo renovation? Well, we're slowly but surely making progress! Here are some photos from before and during the construction:

Old view from the kitchen...boo.

New view!

Which comes courtesy of the closet demo above.

Awkward bar/closet situation (don't even get me started on that decor).

Gone, along with the carpet.

I seriously can't wait until I have all of the "after" shots for you guys and everything is all beautiful and blue and white! My mom actually asked me if I seriously wanted blue everywhere, and I had to point out to her that 24 years of loving something means it's not a phase. I mean, really, talk about not knowing your child haha.

In other news, I went out this past weekend and partied my face off for Natasha's birthday.

Also in attendance were Lauren, Margaret, and many others, along with...drumroll please...a new boy I've been seeing (and some of his friends). Unfortunately for you, he knows about the blog, and he's not entirely comfortable with the idea of me talking about him here...but I will tell you this: He makes me laugh, he treats me well, and he partied like a champion with my friends this past weekend. Any guy who can hold his own while breaking it down at Bell with us gets an A+ in my book.

Alright, it's time for bed, but watch out for a post coming up regarding "Hot Tub Time Machine," which I am beyond pumped to see later this week!

XOXO - Christine

"No girl wants to DO the moodle..."

Some of my friends and I saw an advanced screening of "She's Out of My League" last night, and it was hi-larious! Though I desperately wish I could, I'm not going to give away any spoilers here, but I will tell you that I have one major bone to pick with whomever wrote the script.

Basically, the entire premise of the movie is based upon the idea that this perfect 10 of an event planner leaves her iPhone at the security gate at the airport, and when her best friend calls it, Kirk picks up. The part that infuriates me is that when Molly gets on the plane her bff Patti is all, "wow, way to wait until the last minute!" and she's all, "I know...I think I lost my iPhone..." and then Patti's all, "Calm down, let me call it." And then Kirk picks up, and Molly's all, "oh hey stranger who works for TSA, can you hang on to my phone til tomorrow and then hand deliver it to me at some fabulous party that I'm hosting, which, in real life would be impossible for me to plan sans iPhone, and I should really be wailing like a child about my loss right now, but this is a movie so it's totes cool yo! See ya later Kirky!"

I mean, perhaps it's because the wounds of iPhonegate 2009 are still so fresh, and because she's supposed to be so impossibly perfect and sweet, but when it comes to little baby Milton the iPhone, you can bet many monies that I'd be outta there in an instant to rescue it like it were my own child (or puppy, I like those better).

Other than that, the movie was phenomenally funny, and I highly recommend it to guys and girls alike! Here's the trailer for those of you who haven't seen it yet:

XOXO - Christine

Un-fucking-real.

Check this crazy shit out; definitely worth the 7 minutes:

Apologies for the lack of blogging so far this week, but it's been a crazy one for me. I'll get back in the writing saddle later this week/weekend, I promise!

XOXO - Christine

I Love You...Jason Segel

Probably one of my top ten internet finds ever. Enjoy:



Favorite line? Try this: "Remember when I showed my penis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Well there were no special effects, no no special effects, so if you liked what you saw, well that's exactly what I'm working with. 1-315-329-6673, call it if you need me, 1-315-329-6673, only call if you're disease free."

Love it.

XOXO - Christine

Now Joining Team Jake...

Ohhhh friends. Oh wow. So, this fine evening, a group of my lovely friends and I moseyed (okay, powerwalked) our way down to the Loews Boston Common to check out some vampire (slash werewolf) on human action, in the form of the latest flick in the Twilight series, also known as, "New Moon." Before I go any further, let me just preface this entire post by saying that I've never read any of the books, nor do I fully understand half of what I just witnessed, but you should know that I will probably slip some important details. So, strap yourselves in, because there are likely spoilers ahead.

Now, onto the movie...

For those of you who aren't "Twihards" like my dear friend Leah, I will give you a little background. Basically, this really awkward plain jane type named Bella moves to some ass backwards town called "The Forks," which is meant to seem all earthy and wet and therefore mystical, much like every horror movie set ever erected. Bella's all angsty and like, "Daaaad, I don't wanna make friiiends! Grosss!" Finally, she throws on a ratty sweatshirt and drives herself to school in a bright orange clunker of a truck and meets Edward Cullen, who's creepy eyes twinkle when she's around. They go through a lot of brooding teenage bullshit and eventually he admits that he's a glistening little vampire and they live happily ever after, until some other twinkly vampires come to, you know, suck her blood. Obviously, love prevails, Edward takes them all out, and all is well with the world...at least until the sequel.

Enter, "New Moon." In this installment, Edward tells Bella that she sucks and he's peacing out (to protect her, but she doesn't have those fun vampire mind reading powers). After literally months of atrophying in a chair by the window, she finally makes slight amounts of effort to return to her life, at which point she takes notice of Werewolf Jake, aka HottieHotHottie. Stop judging, the age of consent is totally 17 in most places...right? Whatever. The rest of the movie is a blur, because I pretty much spent the next two hours drooling over Jake's Abs (yes they deserve to be capitalized) and shouting, "what the shiiiiit!?" I believe that my fellow movie goers were thrilled by this, as it broke up the monotony of the crying baby in the back. Luckily, the joke's really on that's kids parents, because it's totes going to grow up all emo and shit, like my future son, "Keith."

But, I digress. Back to Jake's Abs. I mean, JUST LOOK AT THESE THINGS!

I'm normally not into super jacked guys, but one look at these babies rippling in the morning overcast of The Forks, and I was hooked. When I say "hooked," I mean that he's so hot that I am actually able to look past that heinous wig he wears in the first few scenes, AND the non-ironic jorts he sports for the entirety of the movie. That, people, is LOVE. Or lust. But whatever. Not only is he suddenly supahfine, but he's also totes into Bella (vom). But nooooo, Bella's gotta stick poor Jake and His Abs in the corner slash friendzone and fly off to Italy to save this pasty motherfucker from Dakota Fanning:


I mean, Bella's weird and shit, but who, (WHO!) would ever choose this dude over...well, pretty much anyone else? He's ghostly white, built like a 12-year old, and I'm not sure if you can tell in this photo, but the silver screen made those nipple hairs look at least two feet long. NOT OKAY. I know, I know, he's a vampire, he's supposed to be pale...but if you're trying to tell me that these nocturnal Cullen vampire people have never seen an infomercial for a certain Bowflex Total Body System or, at the very least, the Smooth Away hair removal brush thing...well, I'm just not buying it, unless another one of their "magical powers" is to resist the wily charms of Chuck Norris and John Basedow...

So, in conclusion, move over Rewell...it'll be TEAM JAKE for me from here on out.


Enjoy the holiday lovers and I'll be back next week when I'm chock full of turkey and STORIES! And once I've purchased the above waterbottle via the wonders of the internets...

XOXO - Christine

OMFG, It's About Time!

One of my all time favorite movies ever is Boondock Saints, and they're FINALLY coming out with a sequel, entitled Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day. According to this trailer, it'll be hitting theaters on OCTOBER 30th. My birthday is October 28th...pretty sure that this is life's birthday present to me, much like in 2004 and 2007 when the Sox WON IT ALL on my bday. Though I'm skeptical of their replacement of Rocco and Willem Dafoe's character, I know that I'm going to fucking LOVE this sequel.

Enjoy:


XOXO - Christine

I am durunk and Spanglish is hearrtbreaking

OMG. So I just got home and I am watching Spanglish . It's like 3am and it's the part where Tea Leoni admits that she's been having an affair for THREE MOTNHS. I literally watn to die for Adam Sandler's character.

Let's be real for a minute, I've totally cheated before, but that's sososo different than cheating on a husband, especially b/c I feel like I'll wind up marrying the first man I don't WANT to cheat on. Even in a marriage, I'm a firm believer that ONE discretion should NEVER be mentioned, but an actual affair must be acknowledged and the cheater must be the bigger person and leave, so that the cheatee can have the chance to think it through and get over the infidelity (not so they can get back together, but so they can move on). For me, an emotional affair would be SOOOOO much more damaging than a physical one, because really? Sex is just sex, but a connection? Now that's rare.

Also, I love Cloris Leachman.

XOXO - Chrsitine

p.s. literally, kill me.

p.p.s. You know the guy from the shamwow infomercials? Well, he's a legit methhead. He was totes caugth after he bagned up a hooker b/c she bit him. Hollaaaaa.

Watchmen

So there's a new movie out right now based on the graphic novel "Watchmen," that I read for a creative writing class in college. And by read I mean that never once opened it haha.  However, if I'd known a then that the "graphic" in "graphic novel" referred to the serious amount of penis on display, I totally would have taken a gander at my book. Dr. Manhattan (the huge, blue, glowing dude) was naked the entire movie, and his glowing appendage was equally large.

Rob and I went to see the movie on Sunday night with one of his roommates and it was pretty decent.  Despite not reading the novel, I successfully called out the killer within the first five minutes of the movie.  Hint:  Pay attention to the killer's stature in the first scene.  

Though I felt like the first half moved at a snail's pace, the second half of the movie was excellently done.  The plot really came together and everything began to play out in a big, disastrous way. The cinematography was beautiful and the characters were finally fully developed.

My two favorite scenes were actually the very hot slash funny sex scenes.  The first bang sesh was between Dr. Manhattan and the younger Miss Jupiter.  It was hot until you (and she) suddenly realized that there were four hands on her, not just two.  She sits up and sees that there are two Dr. M's and begins yelling at one of them for multiplying, until she spots a third Dr. M out by the nuclear reactor. He says he thought she'd be into it and she flips out and leaves.

Which leads us to bang sesh number two...Miss Jupiter and the other guy.  After rescuing a gaggle of immigrants from a burning building, they totally get after it in the space pod.  It was incredibly hot, and I've never wanted to purchase a patent leather bodysuit more.  All in all I think it was worth checking out.

More to come.

XOXO - Christine