"I'm on a horse..."

Ohhhhhh friends, do I have a fab-u-lous Friday afternoon story for you! While I'm writing it up in this here blog for you, please enjoy the following internet selections to keep you boredom at bay:

1. Isaiah Mustafa, aka the Old Spice man, as your voicemail greeting. And a link to his very intriguing Wikipedia page.

2. In addition, here is the just-released trailer for the movie, "The Town," which was filmed on location in Boston. As a resident of the North End, I often came home to flyers taped on my building with detailed filming schedules of when and where they'd be having car chases and errant explosions, and not to freak out when there was a large boom and a car speeding away. Fun facts? the building they pretend is a bank is actually a very nice and nearly brand new laundromat, and the street the cars speed up throughout the trailer? That's Margaret Street, where I lived when I first moved to Boston three years ago.

Also filmed on Margaret Street? Try the Boy Like Girls video for Hero/Heroine. I was actually home that day (a hungover Sunday) and heard this ridiculous hipster singing the same song over and over again. I was finally so annoyed that I threw on some real people clothes (aka not my dress from the night before), and stormed out of my building, smack into a massive video camera on a rolling track. I apologized to the guy behind the lens and wandered off to run some errands before returning and realizing that this wasn't some no-budget student film being taped. I mingled with the band for a bit, which was fun because I'd never heard of them and wasn't THAT fangirl. It turns out that the lead singer was sick and downing dayquil like is was his job, and he was just as unhappy doing 32 takes as I was listening to him. Overall, he was a very cool guy and the band couldn't have been nicer.

If you watch the video, look out for the scenes with the cab parked on a slight hill where the lead guy is saying goodbye to his girlfriend, because that's Margaret Street again! Very exciting stuff.


Anyway, that's it for now if I have a prayer of getting Wednesday night's ridiculousness posted before you all clock out for the day...

XOXO - Christine

Summertime = Awesome!

So.....I won't be posting any life updates today because my best married man friend, Odd Job, just called and invited me to this afternoon's Sox game! I haven't seen him in forever, so I'm pretty pumped, especially considering how ready he looks for some awesome Sox action:

Love it. Will tweet some photos from the game, but until then, and until tomorrow, kisses for all of you and get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather!!

XOXO - Christine

Good news for you...!

Jim and I just spoke, and things between us are officially dunzo, which means that I can now post all of the shit I didn't during our break for fear of making the break up permanent. Now that it is....I can let you all in on a few very juicy stories!

Right now I have to shower up and head to Erin's bday dins, but come tomorrow afternoon, get excited for some epic posting about my love/sex/booze? life!!

Until then, here's a video of Conan O'Brien playing with Vampire Weekend to make up for the lack of Music Monday this week...enjoy!



XOXO - Christine

New Feature = Music Mondays!!

Welcome to your very first Music Monday my friends! Those of you who know me personally know that I have extremely eclectic taste in music. The playlist I'm currently listening to is a mix of dirty rap, country, love songs that alternately make me smile slash want to die inside, and, of course, Vampire Weekend. In addition to loving a variety of music, I also tend to discover certain songs before everyone else catches on to how great they are, like La Roux's "Bulletproof," which I've loved since it came out last year, but is only now getting major radio play.

In that spirit, I'm going to start posting music recommendations and videos each Monday for your viewing/listening pleasure. Some of it will be brand spankin' new, some will be old school, and all of it will be awesome in one way or another. I'm basically going to post whatever I've been awkwardly blasting as I zoom around the city with my windows rolled down, and I hope you love it as much as I do!

Enjoy....

This week, I'm recommending 16 songs that have been in heavy rotation on my itunes. Just because it's been gorgeous out lately, I'll begin with Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk," off their self-titled 2008 album, and "Cousins" and "Giving up the Gun" from their most recent album, "Contra." See "Cousins" below:



If you love Vampire Weekend like I do, then you'll probably also enjoy Pheonix's "1901" and Gyptain's "Hold You," which is my top cruising-around-the-city song at the moment. You should also check out Black Kids, specifically "I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance with You," anything by MGMT, and if you must, Sleigh Bells, though I think they're a bit overrated at the moment. Here is Pheonix, live on Letterman:



Bob Sinclair's "World, Hold On," might do the trick for you as well, but I have to be honest and say that I much preferred his smash hit, "Love Generation," which was the theme song to my senior year of college. Alright, fuck it, I'm offically endorsing "Love Generation" over "World, Hold On," but I'm too lazy to change the playlist, so....deal.



Moving right along....if you're a country music lover, then I'm probably not telling you anything new when I recommend the Zac Brown Band's "Toes," but summer is upon us and I couldn't resist adding it to the playlist. On the country front, I've also been loving "Gimme That Girl" by Joe Nichols, the same guy responsible for "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off." Compare and contrast below:





If you're a fan of the hot mess that is Ke$ha, then you'll love her latest singles, "Take it Off" and "Your Love is My Drug." Favorite line? "So I got a question, do you want to have a slumber party in my basement; do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum; is my love your drug?"



If you're in the mood for hip hop, then definitely check out "Beamer, Benz, or Bentley" by the comeback kid, Lloyd Banks. Best line? "She always ready, to give me that Becky. Last time it was so good I almost crashed my Bentley." I like to think that I'm up on the latest lingo, but what the fuck is a Becky? A new name for a blow jay? So strange.



I can't not mention "Airplanes" by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams from Paramore, because it's just so damn good for shouting along (or interperetively dancing) to in the car.



On that note....I'm still pissed that I never bought tickets to this year's SummerJam. Perhaps a little Jason Derulo will cheer me up?



Yup...that definitely did the trick!

Next up we have Trey Songz, with "Neighbors Know My Name," which should be added to everyone's sex mixes ASAP. The video is hot, but involves a tub of milk, which is just a tad too awk, even for this blog.

My final recommendations are best suited for those times when you're either crazy happy and want to fully embrace it, or for the times when shit is so bad that you just need to wallow for a while. Enter Colbie Callait with the epically depressing "I Never Told You."



And Angel Taylor, with the slightly more cheerful, "Like You Do."



Whew, that was a lot. Next week I'll probably only be recommending a few new songs, but I figured I'd start Music Mondays with a bang. I hope you guys enjoyed my random assortment of songs and I'll be back soon!

XOXO - Christine

Life is good today....

So.....I officially have my masters degree. Yay me. In order to celebrate, I am going to get rip-roaring drunk tonight and try not to make any inappropriate phone calls or make out with any half-black gangster wannabes at the bar. Because, you know, that's never the goal.

In that spirit, here is a verbatim conversation that Anna and I just had regarding this weekend:

Anna: I don't want to go out.
Me: That's fine, but do you want me to throw some champ on ice for you?
Anna: But why? I don't want to go out.
Me: Well, I dunno, I mean, I'm crushing PBRs...
Anna: Why?
Me: I don't know, because I had a long week, the Bruins are on, and I need to celebrate getting my masters...?
Anna: Wait, but I thought we were going out tomorrow night!?
Me: Yeah, I'm going out both nights. Summer Christine is back baby!
Anna: Oh god...OOOH GOD.

And in honor of these momentous occasions (graduating; return of fun me) I give you the Zac Brown Band, because this how I feel right now, minus the fact that the Bruins and the Flyers are currently tied.

Love the PBR shout-out! Hope you all have magically awkward and/or hilariously fun Friday nights!!

XOXO - Christine

Sorry for partying...

Hi friends!

So remember how I previously discussed my barriers to being a better blogger? And my first issue listed was the condo renovation? Well, we're slowly but surely making progress! Here are some photos from before and during the construction:

Old view from the kitchen...boo.

New view!

Which comes courtesy of the closet demo above.

Awkward bar/closet situation (don't even get me started on that decor).

Gone, along with the carpet.

I seriously can't wait until I have all of the "after" shots for you guys and everything is all beautiful and blue and white! My mom actually asked me if I seriously wanted blue everywhere, and I had to point out to her that 24 years of loving something means it's not a phase. I mean, really, talk about not knowing your child haha.

In other news, I went out this past weekend and partied my face off for Natasha's birthday.

Also in attendance were Lauren, Margaret, and many others, along with...drumroll please...a new boy I've been seeing (and some of his friends). Unfortunately for you, he knows about the blog, and he's not entirely comfortable with the idea of me talking about him here...but I will tell you this: He makes me laugh, he treats me well, and he partied like a champion with my friends this past weekend. Any guy who can hold his own while breaking it down at Bell with us gets an A+ in my book.

Alright, it's time for bed, but watch out for a post coming up regarding "Hot Tub Time Machine," which I am beyond pumped to see later this week!

XOXO - Christine

I'm (bringing awkward) back...!

Oh friends, I am so sorry that I have been a horrible blogger the past 2 or 3 months, but life has been insane lately. I can't get into too many specifics professionally speaking...but my love life alone has been enough of a wreck to make me want to keep me far, far away from these here internets.

Things preventing me from being a good blogger:

1. I bought a new condo and am going to start demo soon. This means that I spend all of my free time channeling my inner HGTV, drawing sketches, and dreaming about color palettes. Assuming that roomie Kate doesn't move with me (the place is smaller but the rent would be the same for her), I will need to consult Facebook and/or Craigslist for a new roommate come summertime. I welcome input on required interview questions/activities.

2. Remember all of the times this past year when I thought things could go nowhere but up? Actually, you probably don't, because I tend not to write about bo-ring things like that...but in summation...things got worse; I'll explain in the following posts.

3. I haven't been going out very often thanks to a semi-strong desire to get my life together. Thankfully, my calendar for March is full of can't-turn-down-invitations and summer is just around the corner!

So...I'm figuring out how to balance it all, one step at a time, and I shall be a better and more diligent blogger/friend/liver of life and ignorer of stress going forward. Now hold on to your seats and get ready for some ridiculousness!

XOXO - Christine

Best. Thing. Ever.

Apparently dreams do come true, because look what I just found in my inbox:

Life is good.

XOXO - Christine

Adios Online Dating, it's been...fun?

6,335 views of my profile later, and I am officially done with Match.com. Thirteen minutes from now, or by the time I finish this post, it will all be over...no more coming home drunk and scoping out prospects, no more politely telling middle-aged men and guidos, "no thanks," no more going on dates with borderline alcoholics, only to have them rip shots in my bathroom or call me while riding their bikes back to the south end....no friends, thirteen minutes from now, all of this magic will be behind me.

I have to say, breaking up the homance (Bobby's newly minted term for a lady-bromance) with Match was theoretically hard, but it's also a giant relief. I don't know how much longer I could keep up with the incessant winks and emails from boys who think that we'd be perfect together because I happen to be the proud owner of a hoo-ha and appreciate the oh-so-subtle humor of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." I mean, maybe I have aggressively high standards, but I don't think it's too much to ask for a tallish, well-educated, cool guy who has some direction and can make me laugh...I'm just saying.

Things I will be more than happy to leave behind? Going on a date, coming home, and then seeing said date online scoping out new prospects later that evening. Granted I'd be doing the same thing...but somehow it's different when their "Online now!" badge is flashing in your face. And this is why I present to you my very best advice for you to successfully navigate the world of online dating whilst maintaining your sanity and standards. Also, we will be recapping what I have learned over the past 9, count 'em, 9, months. Get your pens and pencils out ladies and gents, because here we go...

Words of Wisdom:

1. When emailing someone you may be interested in, remember to reference information from their profile. Not only will it make them feel as though you're being genuine, but it will also prevent you from the pain and humiliation of this exchange. Also, spelling and grammar count, especially if you're over the age of 18 and/or have managed to obtain your high school diploma or the equivalent.

2. DO post presentable photos of yourself. If you would feel more comfortable maintaining your current look, perhaps you would feel more comfortable joining a dating/Lord of the Rings roleplaying community for fellow hippie elves.

3. If you're only looking for sexy times, please direct your attention to adult friend finder and leave me alone. It's fine if your idea of a dream date would be "dinner, movie, and a good time back at her place," but please, have some tact.

4. If you know that someone's not right for you, don't feel the need to get involved. Just press the "no thanks" button, and move on. There's no use wasting your time or theirs on something that's not going anywhere.

5. Wait an email or two before letting your freak flag fly, DON'T just put it all out there for your friends and coworkers to stumble across and then blog about, with accompanying illustrations.

6. Don't be sketch when you finally meet someone. It may go well at first, and they may think your drunkeness is endearing, but eventually they will find the bottle of orange vodka you hid in the bathroom and they will not be pleased.

7. DO be creative with date ideas! The best dates are fun, interesting, and flow organically. Dinner and a blockbuster can be a good time, but more often than not it should be Plan B, not A.

8. There's no blogpost to go with this, but after a date, wait 24 hours, or at least until morning, before logging in to your account. Otherwise, the other party is bound to think you're not interested or at least feel the sting of post-date rejection even more strongly. It's just a good policy to have because it works in reverse as well. Karma people, karma.

9. Speaking of karma, boys and girls, please quit it with the disappearing acts! I know I've done it to my fair share of online paramours, and that makes me hugely hypocritical, but I've since recognized the error of my ways and have realized that next time I'm tempted to do this, I just need to grow a pair and use my words. If you've given someone your number, or gone on a date with them, I think it's only right to let them know that it's not going to work out as soon as you can find a solid, sugar-coated reason, so they don't spend the rest of the week sitting around waiting for a phone call that will never come, because it's just depressing when I put it that way, isn't it?

10. It goes without saying, but please DON'T be any of these people.

And a bonus for good luck...

11. More than anything else, remember to get out there, have fun, and be safe!

And now, positive recap time. We all know what I have lost via Match.com (time, money, dignity), but what have I gained?

1. Laughter, and awkward stories, which are simply priceless.

2. A lasting and committed love for all things Kings of Leon (thanks to the boy who threw a temper tantrum) and The Script (thanks to last week's concert date) as well as a passing interest in Wilco (Drunk Date).

3. A keen eye for observation, thanks to the balding 23-year old I went out with. Baseball hats in every photo? Fool me once, shame on me...

4. A stronger sense of self and the things I want/need in life and in a guy.

5. And, in all honestly, the most important thing I've gained is a deeper appreciation of my friends, who have been there from every, "oooh look at this guy!" to each, "ugh, he was awful/drunk/balding!" Without you guys, and my faithful readers, I would've pulled an Alexa Ray Joel long ago (too soon?)...kidding, but seriously, I love you guys.

To the men of Match.com, thanks for the laughs; it's been quite the ride.

And now, I pass the online dating torch to my dear friend Lee (the same one who sent me the Jersey Shore Nickname generator earlier today), and I wish her the best of luck in her search for a decent man to call her own.

Stay tuned kids, more to come later this week.

XOXO - Christine

FOUND: DRANK...shit yes!!

Hello my bunnies!! I hope you all had spectacular weekends! I just returned from a fun time in Vermont with Ali (post to follow), and discovered an email from a reader named Ryan regarding my post about the magical new beverage called, "DRANK."

Here is his [lightly edited] email:

"I'm not sure if anyone has replied to your blog about Drank yet, but I thought I would try and help you find it and give you my opinion on it.

I actually love Drank. I drink it on days where I feel like either relaxing or just wanna calm down. I wouldn't call it a substitute for weed though. Drugs are always different for each person but Drank really only calms you down but without any kind of high. I even drank 2 in a row and it had the same effect. I think the only real drawbacks are the pricing and the tolerance you build. I have been to different places that sell Drank and it goes anywhere from 2.25 to about 5 dollars per can in new Mexico. I think since its so new that kids don't know what the stuff is worth. The tolerance though is cause of the melotonin in it. I take melotonin pills whenever I can't sleep and I know if I do it too often I start getting insomnia and need higher doses of it but since I only drink Drank once a week or so its not too bad. Drank(from what I hear) has cough syrup in it which is where the color and the opiate effects are from. I'm not sure on the tolerance build of cough syrup.

Now as for getting Drank, I first discovered it at a local smoke shop. The guy behind the counter was telling us about it because his boss said he wasn't allowed to drink it at work. That struck some interest so of course he tried it at work. He said for the next 5 hours he sat in the chair lazy as hell and didn't wanna get up. He also made it clear not to drive after drinking it which I have done anyway on separate occasions despite his warning. The guy was an easy 6'2" 240 pounds and one can hit him hard which I found amazing and it is very obvious he's a stoner. So your best bet to finding a Drank would be a smoke shop or maybe certain gas stations."

In summation: DRANK = best invention of all time, and I will have to venture to a sketchy smoke shop to find it. Can't wait!!

Thanks Ryan and thanks for reading everyone!!

XOXO - Christine

Casting Call for "America's Biggest Asshole"

So Ali just e-mailed me this link detailing the casting call for Spike's new reailty show, "America's Biggest Asshole." The open call began on Monday and ends tonight at 9 at Red Sky in Faneuil. As soon as I saw the name of the show, I knew exactly who to call...

At first, Jdubs thought I was just being a bitch, because I always tell him what a terrible human being he is...but then, I read him the description and he realized that he would indeed be a perfect candidate for this show. Unfortunately, he "doesn't do reality tv" and doesn't want to "fancy himself an asshole by trying out," so you won't be seeing him on this illustrous new venture from Spike.

Here is the description below for anyone who would like to try out or knows someone who NEEDS to be on this show:

"Can you irritate a perfect stranger? Are you quick on your feet? Can you handle a very strong personality? Are you a practical joker? Do your friends tell you that you have all the charm of Vince Vaughn, Denis Leary, and Stiffler rolled into one?

EVEN THOUGH SOME PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE HYSTERICAL, DO YOU HAPPEN TO PISS A LOT OF PEOPLE OFF?

Win cash, fame, and respect for your ability to say what mere mortals could only dream of saying! Audition for the new reality show 'America's Biggest A**Hole!' Come to one of the Open Calls, bring a photo and bio, and tell us your story!"

In-fucking-credible. I cannot wait for this show to air and am secretly hoping that Jdubs will try out despite his objections just now.

More to come!

XOXO - Christine

The TLC Special Drinking Game

Happy Friday bunnies! Oh boy, do I have updates for you...

Alright, so update number one is that, come September, Jenn will be moving out, and a new girl, Kate, will be moving in. I know you guys have enjoyed the few videos that Jenn and I have made thus far, so I will try and get her shitty and on iMovie at least a couple of times before she leaves.

This brings me to today's post! This past Tuesday night, my friend BB went boozing with some of his friends, and the following is our mildly entertaining text convo:

BB: We are watching tlc midgets.
Me: Drink every time they say dwarf, little people, or when they use a stool or grabber to reach something. TLC drinking games are the best slash most disturbing. P.S. Driving counts as reaching b/c they have special pedals. So does shopping in the kid's department.
BB: I would die.
Me: Hahaha. We like drinking and eating chocolate while watching World's Fattest Man at the lake.
BB: Imagine having 18 kids.
Me: Like the Duggar family? I would rather sew my hoo-ha shut.
BB: Yea I just saw a commercial for them, they make me wanna cut my nuts off.
Me: Hahahaha. Yeah, Jim Bob must have beastly sperm.

After this text convo, BB and I had a lovely chat about the state of my karma and how if I were to have children, they would wind up being be-mulleted, unibrowed, gingers, one of whom would be half-mermaid, half-treegirl, and the other of whom would be an obese midget. My eldest would be spared these traits, but he would inevitably be painfully emo, which is just as bad. Behold, my future children:

My youngest, half-mermaid, half-treegirl. She wants to be a princess when she grows up and god damn does she like biscuits!

My middle child, an obese midget, has remnants of his conjoined twin lodged in a neck tumor and is looking forward to his first LP conference. There, he will meet his future wife, who better be fucking sterile because if this kid reproduces, the world as we know it is over. Oh yeah, and there's my eldest, Finding Emo. His "government" is Mark, as in Marky Mark, but he goes by Keith, the worst name in the English language, because he's all angsty and wants to spite me.

Anyway, in the spirit of this conversation, I have decided to follow in the footsteps of my favorite blog (2birds1blog) and post a Drinking Game Friday drinking game. The topic? TLC Specials (and regular programming) obviously!! Thanks to BB for collaborating with me to form this epic list, and to Leah, who loves watching World's Fattest Man even more than I do. Enjoy!

For Midget Programming:

1. Drink whenever little people or dwarfism are referenced.

2. Drink whenever they go to a little people conference.

3. Drink whenever a little people dating website is mentioned.

4. Drink whenever they have to climb something.

5. Drink whenever they use a modified car, a stool, or a grabber.

6. Drink whenever you spot modified furniture.

7. Drink whenever they admit to using this product.

8. Pound a beer anytime you see a midget on a pony, in a cannon, or dressed in costume (like an oompa loompa or baby)

9. Drink anytime their regular sized children pick them up. (Pound one if they are then placed in a cabinet or closet)

10. Drink whenever they use the phrase "average height" to describe their normal children.

11. Drink if a little person is pregnant. Pound a beer if they discus their hopes and dreams for the baby's height.


For Shows About Fat People:

1. Pound a beer whenever they fail at fitting in/on/through something.

2. Take a shot if they have to tear down a wall to remove them from their homes.

3. Chug your drink whenever firefighters/policemen/nurses do a countdown to heave them somewhere (like from one bed to another).

4. Drink if they find something in their rolls. Pound a beer if they eat it.

5. Drink whenever they have take-out delivered to their obesity clinic.

6. Drink for every plate of food they consume in one sitting. Alternately, do a 10 second chug for every 1,000 consumed daily (pre-diet).

7. Drink if they can only fit in sheets and specially made mumus. Pound a beer if they're floral print.

8. Drink whenever a traumatic childhood is referenced.

9. Drink if they say that they've “been chubby/fat for as long as they can remember.”

10. Pound a beer if they’ve successfully lost at least 50 pounds by the end of the show. Take down another half beer if gastric bypass surgery was involved.

11. Drink if a flatbed truck is used to move them.

12. Drink if you are watching World’s Fattest Man (Manuel Uribe) get married, and you'd like to drown your sorrows, because you suddenly begin to feel terrible about the state of your own love life.

13. Drink whenever they secretly binge eat.

And for my favorite brand of TLC Specials...
The Freakshow Episodes (and other random programming):

1. Pound a beer if the show involves flippers, trees as limbs, or shrinking skin.

2. Drink whenever Mermaid Girl demands biscuits.

3. Drink whenever Half Man/Half Tree mentions his children and you cross your fingers that his shit is not hereditary.

4. Drink whenever somebody says, “I didn’t know I was pregnant!”

5. Drink when that person gives birth in a public bathroom.

6. Drink whenever fat women with mullets chalk their labor pains up to “gas.”

7. Drink whenever they didn’t know they were pregnant with twins.

8. Drink whenever someone who should not be procreating has a child.

9. Drink whenever there is a toddler in a tiara and/or full pageant make-up.

10. Drink whenever a human being’s remnants are found inside the protagonist. This includes stillborn children and undeveloped twins.

11. Drink whenever you see conjoined twins. Take a shot if they are shown engaging in intimate acts, while attached. Finish the rest of your alcohol supply if they have a significant other, and you do not. If you're out of booze, then seriously consider slitting your wrists.

12. Drink whenever someone names all 18 of their children in order.

13. Drink whenever someone calls a child a “miracle” or “blessing.” Pound a beer if it makes you throw up a little in your mouth.

14. Drink whenever Kate gives Jon a dirty look.

15. Drink for 30 seconds during Kate's rants and Jon's rationalizations that, "it's for the kids."

16. Drink whenever you seriously contemplate stealing Aaden, the adorable bespectacled child.

17. Drink whenever someone is given a diagnosis to their mysterious ailment. Pound a beer if they were diagnosed, given some meds, and miraculously returned from the brink of death with no side effects.

18. Drink whenever someone lists “genital sores” as a symptom.

19. Pound a beer whenever someone’s “Untold Stories of the ER” are told.

20. Pound a beer whenever a girl picks her wedding dress on Say Yes To The Dress. Keep drinking if tears, mother-in-laws, and/or gay BFF's are involved in the selection process.

21. Drink whenever someone waddles. This is applicable to the shows about obese people and midgets as well, obviously.

22. Pound a beer whenever someone successfully “Rocks Their Reception.” Pound another one if the song is uncomfortable, awkward, and/or otherwise inappropriate. Ginuwine's "Pony" is a good example.

23. Pound a pitcher of margarita’s whenever there is a home birth. Hope to god that you’ve drunk enough to block it out.

24. Drink whenever someone accidentally gives birth outside of a hospital. Pound a beer if it’s in a car.

25. Pound a beer whenever someone throws a bitch fit because they’re not sticking to their “birthing plan.”

Alright friendlies, I think that's about all I have for now since I have to rest up for my cousin's wedding tomorrow night! Have fun this weekend!

XOXO - Christine

Introducing DJ Donnie Dee

Hey friendlies, I hope you all had fab weekends and a good start to this gloriously dismal week. The weather in Boston is currently abysmal, I'm in the middle of finals, and some of my friends have shipped out to sea and won't be back until OCTOBER. It's seriously rough times up here for me.

Luckily, I had a bright spot in the week that came when I interviewed my friend Dizzle (pretty sure I'm the only one who calls him that) about his upcoming CD release! Here's a photo of him being rugged:
To give you some background, Dizzle (who goes by DJ Donnie Dee) grew up in Paterson, New Jersey, went to NMH for high school, and then spent four years at UMass Amherst, where he met the guys with whom he would eventually start Fortune Infinite Enterprises. Since graduating, he's been splitting his time between Paterson and Springfield, MA, where he an his boys have been working around the clock to write, rap, and produce some sick music.I met Donnie a few years ago, during a Career Discovery Program at Harvard's Graduate School of Design. I was studying Architecture, he was studying Urban Planning, and one night we bonded over our mutual struggles with insomnia and obvious thuggery. Donnie is, hands down, one of the realest and best people I know, and he's definitely going places with his music, which is why I felt the need to bring it to all of you phenomenal readers! You can check out his video for, "We Feelin' It," here, and then read the interview below. The intro is awesome, and the actual song starts about at about 1:00 in.


Alright, here goes the interview:

Me: So, you have an album coming out soon? July 4th I believe? Tell me about it. Who were your major influences? What's the vibe? What's the message?
DJ Donnie Dee: July 4th is the release date. It’s called Fortune Infinite Presents: The Infinite Compilation Vol. 1. It’s an album style mixtape so we called it a compilation.
Me: Ahh, okay, gotcha.
DJ Donnie Dee: The vibe is just real dudes, real music, good production, good lyrics, all real life stuff, but not like all this tough guy shit out there and not like this pop type shit either. Just good music you can listen to. We aren’t trying to make club songs. If someone wants to play it in the club, then it’s because it’s good, not because we designed some bullshit track with a catchy hook, you know?
Me: Haha, yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Is "We Feelin' It" on there?
DJ Donnie Dee: Yeah, it’s on there.
Me: Awesome, I love that one
DJ Donnie Dee: You’ll like the first song on there. It’s called, “For a Reason,” by my man A. Phatzz. He’s about 4 ft. tall, but his heart is bigger than his body.
Me: Like DJ LIttles, in Boston!
DJ Donnie Dee: He’s been shot multiple times.
Me: Okay, so NOT like DJ LIttles…
DJ Donnie Dee: He has mad kids. He’s lost a lot of friends, from the hood, all of that. “For a Reason,” is the story of one of his good friends setting him up to be shot and robbed. That happened recently.
Me: Oh my god do I feel sheltered.
DJ Donnie Dee: We all come from the hood though, but we don’t exploit our backgrounds. We use them to make good music and motivate brothers and sisters.
Me: What was the reason for the set-up?
DJ Donnie Dee: No reason at all, just hunger. In a hungry zoo, monkey see, monkey do. It’s just fucked up like that.
Me: Wow, rough. So what was your role on the compilation?
DJ Donnie Dee: I make all of the beats and do all the production. Phatzz is one of my business partners and artists. There are 5 of us. It’s Ali Phattz, Tee Bay, Tony Payroll, MicNificent and Me, DJ Donnie Dee. We’re all very close friends. They’re from Springfield.
Me: So do you know them from when you went to UMass?
DJ Donnie Dee: I met Tony Payroll at UMass and I know the others through him. I’ve known them for years now. We’re basically just a band of brothers that want to make music and inspire people that come from similar backgrounds and situations. We ain’t trying to be like anybody else in the game. Just tryin to make the music we feel.
Me: Yeah, I can tell in the tracks you've sent me. Did you get any of your boys from Paterson in on it?
DJ Donnie Dee: Yeah, my man World P and Tha Money Murda. Those are my right hand men from Jersey, but we’ve also got other features from Warlock, Ready, Phil Nice, and my man WerdPlay.
Me: Wow, that's a lot of guest spots. Are you sure that they're not all just Lil Wayne in disguise haha.
DJ Donnie Dee: Nah, far from it. They are all people we fuck with. Real shit. They’re all talented artists themselves too and have their own things going on. Warlock was in prison for 10 years. He’s 30 yrs old and still chasin his dream.
Me: That's legit. What for?
DJ Donnie Dee: Drug and gun charges he caught in NY. I’ve got stories like that for all of us, but we don’t dwell on the negative. We’ve all just been through a lot, so we‘re trying to move forward and do what we love.
Me: Well, like you said, you use the past as a motivator for the future, so that’s positive.
DJ Donnie Dee: I still can't believe I did that Harvard shit sometimes. I feel blessed for that opportunity.
Me: Let's be real, you’re just happy you met me haha. Alright, my readers/friends will enjoy this. What did you think when you met me? Be honest!
DJ Donnie Dee: You were one of the only people with no stick up your ass
Me: Woohoo, ringing endorsement right there haha.
DJ Donnie Dee: I don’t judge people I don’t know, but you were cool as hell, gave me good vibes, so I was happy when we became friends. You made my summer there because you made it fun to be around and I remember you being funny as hell. You had no problems approaching me or anyone else. What else you wanna know?
Me: Wow, thanks, I was expecting the answer to be CRAZY. You were CRAZY, Christine.
DJ Donnie Dee: Well, the fact that you are absolutely nuts goes without sayin
Me: And this is why I love our friendship...
DJ Donnie Dee: You were always down to do something.
Me: Like see Hustle & Flow? I still say it’s a great movie.
DJ Donnie Dee: What was great is that we went and were laughing hysterically at it in the movies
Me: Haha yeah, and all of the other black people gave me weird looks since I went in the theater by myself, and then you came in and they were like oooooh, alright, we guess she’s okayyy…
DJ Donnie Dee: LMAO. Yeah, you know you good with me. When I get some real money I’m gonna take you out to some more movies. That can be our thing, movies that no one else wants to see but us.
Me: Yess! Or you can COME VISIT, and we can watch SOUL PLANE, because that’s legit my favorite hangover movie. I’ve seen is at least 15 times.
DJ Donnie Dee: LMAO. Anything else you wanna know?
Me: Yes, many things. Where the F are you living right now?
DJ Donnie Dee: I’m living between Springfield and Jerz. sleepin in the studio/office on the floor when we are workin on projects.
Me: I bet, you're crazy busy all the time, judging by your fb status updates. So, which track are you most proud of?
DJ Donnie Dee: I’m proud of all my music. I’ve been DJ’ing since I was 12, I prodce my own shit, I rap, I do it all. If I had to pick, I’d say that “We Feelin’ It” is my favorite solo joint. “For a Reason” is ill; so is “Product of the Streetz” and “Can’t Knock Me Down.”
Me: Are there any rappers/producers out there today who you'd like to emulate your career after?
DJ Donnie Dee: Nah, I’m trynna play my own lane. If I could make music with anyone it would be Alchemist, or Just Blaze, he’s from Paterson too.
Me: So not mainstream, but respected.
DJ Donnie Dee: I just like the ones who make the best music, the real stuff. Ain’t into the Scott Storches and the bullshit stuff like that.
Me: I saw your blog post about his being un-FORTUNATE, which is the best insult ever by the way.
DJ Donnie Dee: My boy Tony Payroll (Ant) does those. I do the video blogging and I manage the band pages on facebook and myspace.
Me: Nice, I like the whole blog set-up, it’s inviting. So, this is random, but I told this guy that I was going to interview you and he wants to know if your career gets you a lot of action. He just quit his job and is obviously considering a career in rap haha.
DJ Donnie Dee: LMAO. Tell him that anytime you do something, there will be some group of girls that are ready to bone you because of it. I’m not attracted to those girls though.
Me: Hahahahaha, so true. I love it. No groupie love for you?
DJ Donnie Dee: The groupie type? Hell no.
Me: That's good, I always saw you as being above that. So, where do you see yourself heading with this music thing?
DJ Donnie Dee: Well, our goal is to keep putting out music. Mass distribution. We’re not really concerned with record labels and shit like that, or radio play. We’re just trynna move as many of our own units as possible. It’s all mathematics. You sell a shitload of records, who WON’T notice you? And then if your music is good on top of that, you’re golden. We just wanna be know as some real niggas, who make some of the best music and have genuine fans who love us and our music. We don’t need gimmicks or special marketing to sell our shit, we’re just us.
Me: Yeah, I hear that. So where can my readers get your CD?
DJ Donnie Dee: They can contact me on facebook, the blog, or myspace, and they can purchase through paypal or through me directly. $10 a copy for 24 tracks – you don’t get better deals than that, but if they wanna pay more for it, they are more than welcome lol.
Me: So, if you could only do one thing (writing/producing/rapping), which would you pick?
DJ Donnie Dee: DJing. That’s where I started and that’s where my heart is. It also makes me great at all of the other things I do. I just know great music when I hear it, because of the DJ experience.
Me: Ahh gotcha. Where do you do most of your DJing? Bars? Clubs?
DJ Donnie Dee: I did most of my DJing before I even left jerz. I was spinnin in 18+ clubs before I was 21. When I got to college I was kinda bored with the college party scene, even the clubs and bars. That’s when I got really production heavy. But I spin anywhere. Clubs, parties, cookouts…I do most of my DJing in the studio when I’m incorporating it with my productions and my beats. I’ve been doing this forever, and everyone knows it.
Me: Sick. Alright, anything else you want my readers to know?
DJ Donnie Dee: Well, I’m heavy on community outreach too and bein involved in the communities I’m dealin with. Basically, I just want them to know that we’re REAL. We’ve had struggles, and set backs, and opportunities. We’re not trynna be anybody but ourselves, and hopefully they get that when they listen to our music. Oh, and THE ALBUM DROPS JULY FOURTH!

Well, there you have it, everything you ever wanted to know about Dizzle! The kid is crazy talented and you guys should definitely check him out on FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, and his crew's BLOG. If you want a copy of his upcoming album, just message him through any of those forums and he'll hook you up!

XOXO -Christine

Patches O'Houlihan Update

Oh friendlies....do I have an update for you!

So, as you all know by now, God gets his kicks by smiting me daily for not believing in him. Sometimes this smiting comes in the form of the T not running due to "power outages," or a drunken mexican aggressively hitting on me whilst sitting thisfar from me on said T, or, I don't know, perhaps by presenting me with average looking men who are good in bed but insist upon lying to me on the regular? AKA JDubs and the "cop" formerly known as Patches O'Houlihan."

Alright, so last Wednesday night, I went out to dins with Ali and Karen and got a little drunski. I texted Patches a very ladylike message ("Guess who&s drunkkk...") and after a flurry of dirty and logistical texting, he showed up at my door (Jenn, aren't you glad you go to sleep early!). One bang sesh later...I called him out. Here is the convo that followed:

Me: So, funny story, remember that friend I pointed out to you on my wall who was from Belmont? Well her roommate, Melissa, used to have a thing with your roommate.
Patches: What are you talking about?
Me: Your roommate, Jason? Melissa had a thing with him a while ago. I was telling her how we got locked out on the roof last weekend and I guess she realized she'd met you before and talked to Jason about it.
Patches: Um, Patches O'HOULIHAN lives with Jason, I live with Bill Walsh. I'm Patches O'GRADY.
Me: Well, not according to Melissa. She e-mailed me earlier saying she knew who you were, and that I should be careful because you've been lying to me.

--Insert long convo about how he's not Patches O'Houlihan, but he knows him well and many other lies.--

Post-convo, he tells me he'll ask his boss about the date for my cousin's wedding that I invited him to in June. He begins to head out the door, but comes back and gives me a hug and a kiss on the head. It was very out of character and I have no idea what made him do this. Maybe he thought that I naively believed lie-fest part deux and felt like he was off the hook?

Anyway, after he left, I called Melissa and was like WTF. We decided that the best way to confirm that Patches O'Grady and Patches O'Houlihan were the same person would be to find out what kind of car Jason's roommate drives. JACKPOT. Patches O'Houlihan drives a black Nissan Xterra...just like my dear manfriend Patches O'Grady...how curious...

After hearing this, I obviously couldn't contain myself and wound up calling him right then. He shockingly picked up (I didn't think he would after our earlier convo). I told him that I knew for sure that he was lying to me, and that I didn't care that he lied, because sometimes I tell guys that my name is Chloe, but that I needed him to acknowledge the lie so we could forget about it and move on.

Finally, he goes, "will that make things better?" I said, "yes, 100%," and he then conceded, "yeah, I did." I asked him why, and he said it was to avoid, "stalker shit." The irony of that reasoning is hilarious to me, because we wound up figuring out who he really is without even meaning to and without his real name. After he admitted it, he sounded incredibly bummed, but I'm not sure why. My theory is that he realized that by discovery his real name, I must have also uncovered the lie about his job. Melissa and I agree that he was probably embarrassed about this and felt like an idiot for trying to make himself look better.

I told him it didn't change anything and that I still wanted to bang him, and that I wasn't going to stalk him or want to date him, etc., but that I just wanted him to be honest. He told me he'd still check on that date for me (again, surprising, I didn't think he would), and that was that.

OH MY LIFE.

A second update for this post: Patches and I briefly talked on Friday because I wanted to confirm that he wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. He apparently has another wedding to go to on the 20th, so he can't take two weekends in a row off from work. I told him no worries, and to have a fun Memorial Day Weekend. He immediately responded with, "Are you mad at me? Are you going to be around this weekend?" I guess that means we're still a go..! Get ready for some more updates my friendlies!!

XOXO - Christine

P.S. I hope everyone had an awesome weekend full of beer, BBQ's, and fun! Mine was pretty low-key, but very relaxing. I went to NH for a few days, and then returned to Boston and spent all day today hanging out with Melissa and one of my new neighbors (Hey Andrew) on the roof deck. We also have new neighbors upstairs who seem cool, so it's looking like we might have a more dormstyle living situation in the buidling this summer. I love the idea of everyone partying together and hanging out on the roof, so I'm beyond pumped for the coming months and I hope you guys are too!

TextsFromLastNight.com = Beyond Brilliant

Brilliant new website (new, as in founded this past February and I can't believe it took me this long to discover it - thank god for FB, my younger cousin, and all of her sketchy friends):

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

This site is incredible. It's similar to FML, but, dare I say, better? The only downside is that it's not very well known and therefore not updated as often as the gold standard of hilarious, communal commiseration. However, YOU can change all that, either by submitting your most awkward/embarrassing/outrageous texts online, at the above website, or by forwarding them to text@textsfromlastnight.com!!

I just posted a few choice textchanges from recent months. The funniest one has yet to be approved, but you can enjoy these for now:

1. Well that explains it...

2. Dife already.

3. In case I die...

Alright, WAY more to come tomorrow!!

XOXO - Christine

P.S. This one's my fave so far: Wat U Doin?

Ding, Ding, Ding . . . We Have A Winner!!

Hello bunnies!!!

Sorry that I didn't get a chance to drunk blog about my date on Thursday night, but that may have a little something to do with the fact that I never came home...!!

Let me explain...

This past Thursday night, I was supposed to meet this lovely specimen of a man at the BHP (Beacon Hill Pub) for drinks at 6. However, he texted me during the day asking if we could move it to 7. Obviously, I obliged because I hadn't even begun getting ready. Finally, at 7:15, I rolled into the bar and immediately spotted DD playing darts with what looked like Buster the Jockey from my favorite show, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia." Incredible.

When he saw me, he came over and gave me a big hug and asked me if I wanted a drink. I grabbed a Coors Light (beer of champions) and we moseyed on over to one of the pub tables to have some lovely first date chit-chats...or so I thought. As it turns out, my date was drunk, but adorably so. Apparently, he had arrived at the bar a solid 45 minutes before I did, and Buster the lawn jockey had challenged him to a darts/drinking competition. Not one to turn down a challenge, Drunk Date took down a couple of shots and several beers before I showed up. Let's be real people, I probably would have done the same thing, so I really can't blame him for his choices, now can I? I mean, how often do you run into a 75 pound man who can drink you under the table?? Experiences like that come around but once in a lifetime my friendlies.

Anyway, after staring at my bedazzled flip flops for a solid minute, he looked deep into my eyes and said, "You're wearing SANDALS! Whaaaat?" He also told me that I smelled great about nine times before stating that he was a "pool man" and that darts weren't his game. And with this, we left the BHP to find a bar with a pool table. On the walk down Charles, I began to realize just how buzzed DD was. When I asked him if he'd been on any other match dates he said, "YOU. Maybe. I don't knoooow!" He was beginning to resemble the below photo more than the put together guy in his match profile...and I liked it.

You see, as I'm always saying to my friends, I need a man who's a little bit of a mess, because otherwise, they won't be able to handle me. I'm not saying that I want a guy who blacks out every night, but rather someone who appreciates the joy of getting a little sloppy on the weekends and won't judge me for the disaster that is my life. To me, DD's tipsiness was totally endearing.

As we continued walking and approached the public garden, DD stopped, scratched his head, and said, "You know, I'm a lot more tired than I thought I was. I think I'm going to go watch a movie. Do you want to come." My response was, "Come where? Somerville?" He said, "Yeah, let's go, we'll get a cab." I gave him a once over, decided that he was still adorable, and, call me crazy, but I flagged a cab.

We hopped in and he shouted, "45 Harris Street, wait, avenue, wait, street!" The cabbie didn't so much speaka the English, and had no idea what DD was talking about, so DD told him that he'd just direct him. We pulled onto Storrow, and confident that he'd be able to tell the cabbie where to go, I began texting Leah. Here's the convo that followed:

Me: Drunk.
Leah: Stop it, seriously? Before you even got there??

Me: Yup. Now we're going back to Somerville. My life is a joke.
Leah: You're going to Somerville? What the hell are you going to do there?

Me: Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Leah: Can I put that as my fb status?

Me: Now he's fighting with the cab driver haha. Omg incredible.
Leah: I'm going to bed girl, be careful, I don't want to be the one to have to tell your parents you died in Somerville!

And then DD decided to lie down with his head in my bag...until I remembered that he was supposed to be directing the cabbie, at which point I nudged him to pay attention to where we were. He sat up as we were passing a little league field and shouts, "DUDE, why are you taking us by FENWAY??" I told him that it was not in fact Fenway, and he goes, "YEAH, because there's the Citgo sign!" To which I replied, "No DD, that's just a regular gas station." Sick life.

We've spoken since this magical first date, and plan on hanging out again soon. More to come on that later though, because the events that have followed date number one definitely deserve their own posts.

Hope you guys all had a spectacular weekend!

XOXO - Christine

JDate and Match and eHarm, Oh My!

So my bunnies, tonight's topic du jour is, you guessed it, online dating!

A while ago, my friends and I were having a discussion about various online dating sites and whether or not we deemed online dating to be desperate or resourceful. A few of them seemed open to the idea and one had even joined eHarmony, but I was adamantly against the concept. While I appreciated the implied convenience of screening potential dates before actually wasting your time with them, I argued that those sites must be full of ogreish men who were too shy and/or ugly to approach girls in person. Exhibit A:

Well, my friendlies, it turns out that I was right...and wrong.
Let me explain...

So remember last week, when I was recovering from the Manbaby Fiasco of 2009? Well, my friend BCBG came over to cheer me up and we wound up spending some quality time browsing her JDate matches...suffice it to say, it was both magical and hilarious. While there were ogres and d-bags aplenty, there was also a healthy smattering of normal looking, well-adjusted man situations in the mix.

After BCBG explained how the whole process of online dating works, and I think a bit of the stigma dissolved for me. I'm nowhere near ready to settle down yet, but I wouldn't mind casually dating, and it's nearly impossible to meet suitable men in bars these days. Yes, you can meet a nice guy with whom you're compatible, but that always almost ends in a one night stand, not a first date. So, with BCBG's guidance, I've gone viral with my love life...

Initially, I signed up for eHarmony, but quickly realized that their method of matching people based on their "29 dimensions" was not going to work. Despite my preference settings, eHarm was convinced that my perfect match is approximately 5'6" and 32-years old. Not okay eHarm, not okay.

After my hate/hate relationship with eHarm ended prematurely, I joined the infamous Match.com. Within an hour, I had 5 winks (mostly from creeps) and a few messages. I deleted all but one, and he and I have been messaging back and forth since then, so we shall see! I'm so sorry TonyBaby1524, but your epic guidotastic-ness just doesn't do it for me. Prep school and a lack of sideburns are mutually exclusive, or didn't you know?

Well, that's it for now friendlies. Many more updates to come on this fascinating topic!

XOXO - Christine

Exciting Tidbit!

So sorry that I haven't posted yet this week, but this might just make up for it!

As an avid reader (judger) of Non-Society (and its reblogging site, RBNS) I couldn't help but e-mail Julia when I saw her post this week about texting no-no's. Here is what I wrote to her in its entirety, followed by her summation of thoughts on the subject:


Love it!

XOXO - Christine