The gift that keeps on giving...

So, the other day, I logged into my Match.com account to find the following message:

"NICE LEGGS"

That's it, that's all it said. Two words, one of them spelled wrong, no punctuation, ALL CAPS. Upon further investigation, I discovered that said message came from this gem:

That's right, my exceedingly charming new suitor is a lazy-eyed 41-year old whose dating headline reads, "I'M NOT A PLAYER, ARE YOU??"

Read below for unedited excerpts from his profile, and my response to his delightful message:

About me:
IM LOOKING 4 A WOMAN THATS NOT ON HERE LOOKING 4 ATTENTION ETC, I WANNA MEET A WOMAN THATS NOT MISS RIGHT NOW MAYBE WE CAN START A GREAT FRIENDSHIP THAT ADDS UP TO SOMETHING REALLY COOL SO GIVE ME A SHOUT TY!!

My job:
im on here to meet a nice , attractive , sexy woman to start a friendship that turns into maybe lovers, a steady gf or maybe even marriage OUCHH Llolol i was on here a few years ago and had a AWESOME time meeting women!

My ethnicity:
are u kidding? moreee ? lol, i guess youd have to scroll back and read what i typed b4 that says im here to date, meet new friends and have alot of fun like i did on here a few years back, ciao

My religion:
is this a job interview ? i wish we got paid 4 all this typing! send me a email or a wink and see where it goes ! sounds good to me , im tired typing lolol

My education:
are u kidding now its time to hear from you, ive typed enuff to work 4 a local newspaper woulndt u agree?

Favorite hot spots:
ny, calif , cape cod , canada, russian. england. texas, vancouver! i wanna go to ireland b4 i die lmaooo

Favorite things:
i like blues, rock, steak, chicken, chinese food , mexican, thress co lol janets sexy legs lolol, i love outdoor concerts, great woods aka comcast center, ss musio circus ,, harborlights

My Pets:
what else do you wanna know? this is like a job resume lol, anyways like i said im looking 4 a normal, sexy woman that knows what she wants in life , has no drama but im not perfect either so lets get a drink or a coffee and get together


And here it is, our incredible back and forth...enjoy.

Lazy-eye: NICE LEGGS

Me: Great pick up line...not creepy at all. P.S. No thanks.

Lazy-eye: miss picky on the internet? LMAO

Me: The last thing I need in my life is a 41-year old man who doesn't understand the proper usage of capitalization. They're called standards, and, shocker, I have them; in fact, most girls my age do. Good luck finding a 21-year old "4 FRIENDSHIP AND SOMETHING REALLY COOL."

P.S. When attempting to begin a conversation with a woman, perhaps try this crazy new approach where you say hello and mention her interests before getting into creepshow mode. Just a thought.

Lazy-eye: well taken, thunder thighs lololol

Me: Wow, definitely going to cry myself to sleep over that one...

And then I blocked him. Good times on the interwebs.

More to come.

XOXO - Christine