Holy Fucking Awkward

Hey bunnies! So, I have a story for you...here goes.

Remember that guy I went to the Script concert with? The guy who I thought was tall, and handsome, and all around awesome? Well, after our date, he continued gchatting me on a daily basis, telling me that he couldn't wait to hang out again. This continued for about a week and a half, before he suddenly fell off the face of the earth.

In my heart, I was pretty sure that it was over, but Anna gave me a long lecture about how "guy time" and "girl time" are wildly different, and that a week in guy time really isn't that long at all. Faith somewhat renewed, I decided to email him and let him know that I was going home for Christmas, but that I'd be back in a few days if he still wanted to hang out. The response? Nothing.

Undeterred, I held my tongue and sent him a second (and final) email a week later, saying that it was cool if he found someone else, or if he wasn't that interested anymore, but that I'd appreciate some kind of response or explanation, considering that the last I'd heard, he'd been totally into it. Again...nothing. (By the way, this all went down toward the end of December, and I was beyond impressed with myself for not bitching him out in a lovely New Year's drunk dial.)

Fast forward to Monday night, when Ali and I decided to go on a leisurely shopping adventure to Shaw's.....oh hey, who's that walking toward me from the cheese aisle? HOLY SHIT. It's Tom. (I believe we previously referred to him as "last week's date," "the incident," and/or "the condition.") I spotted him from afar, immediately turned around and started freaking the fuck out. Normally I wouldn't care if I ran into a former flame (see: The Comedy Club Incident), but this is a guy that I really liked, who completely mindfucked me, AND I looked horrendous after one of the worst Mondays of all time. AWESOME.

Anyway, after some not-so-subtle walk-by situations, I finally decided that I would be kicking myself for weeks if I didn't say something to him. So......I ambushed him in the checkout line, because I'm smooth like that. I basically walked right up to him while he was on the phone and tapped his arm. Here is what I remember of the (pretty long) convo that followed:

Him: Heeey, what's up?
Me: Hi. I think it's pretty fucked up that you never emailed me back.
Him: Ugh, yeah, I'm sorry about that. I feel like a real asshole. I kept meaning to write back, but then I felt like it'd been too long, so I didn't.
Me: Well, it was a really dick move.
Him: I know, I'm sorry, I was dating a few people when I met you, and timing's a bitch, you know? I became serious with someone else and didn't handle it well.
Me: Clearly not.
Him: After a week went by, I just didn't want to upset you by bringing it up, so I did nothing.
Me: Well, let me teach you a little lesson about women. We ALWAYS appreciate an apology, whether it's 8 minutes or 8 years after you fuck up. It's an acknowledgment of the fact that you did a dick thing, and that we are not, in fact, crazy.

-Insert long apologetic convo-

Him: So, how've you been?
Me: Well, I got into a car accident on Friday morning, the building next door to me caught on fire on Monday night, and now...this.
Him: Oh, I read about that fire on Universal Hub! Great website, you and I are both web savvy, I think you 'd enjoy it.
Me: Cool, I'll check it out.
Him: You were always really hilarious, we should talk sometimes.
Me: Awesome, call me when you're single.
Him: What, we can't be friends?
Me: Okay, sure, we can talk.
Him: Oh, and you mentioned your car accident? Well my car was hit by a cab on my street this weekend!
Me: OH, that's another reason I'm pissed you disappeared! You promised you'd tell me why your car is called Mexican Dave (name changed to protect the...vehicle?), but then you vanished!
Him: (looking around at the minority cashiers) I will tell you some other time, in person, I promise.
Me: Yeah...okay.
Him: No really. I'm glad the lines of communication are open again.
Me: Yup. Alright, I'm gonna let you go. Good to see you.
Him: Okay, see you soon.
Me: Alright...bye.

We high-fived twice and I also demanded a hug since I hadn't received one since my tunnel crash on Friday morning and was so desperate for a warm embrace that I would've taken one from Homeless Meredith. Okay, that's a stretch, but you know what I'm saying, I needed some loving...which is probs why I then purchased a stuffed elephant for myself to snuggle with...because I am apparently 5-years old. Also, Ali spent the entire 30 minutes that I was talking to Tom lurking around the magazine racks spying on us...real cool Ali, real cool haha.

While the entire situation was pretty awk, and I started out practically shaking because I was so angry, it ended well and I feel like I got the closure I was looking for back in December. And honestly, if he's serious about us keeping in touch, then I'm all for it. I did enjoy talking to him back when we were getting to know each other and sometimes I miss the emails we'd exchange.

However, if he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear and has no intention of speaking to me again (until our next potential supermarket run-in), then he should probably go ahead and email me something like, "Hey, that run-in sure was awkward...sorry for being a douche way back when, but I said some things I didn't mean, and, well...let's never speak again, okay? Brilliant. Laterrr."

So, Tom, in case you're reading this, I've just given you the perfect script for telling me to get lost. If you have no intention of keeping in touch, then simply paste this into an email and be done with me, because I can't deal with any more mind fuckery, from anyone, until at least 2011, or maybe even '12. Excellent, thanks.

On another apology and man related note...there was a guy I was talking to last September who was awesome, but pulled a slow fade and went from sending emails to texting me once a week. I eventually told him to step it up or stop contacting me, and he chose the latter approach. Fast forward to three weeks ago....and he's back! He sent me a really sweet email apologizing for flaking on me and acknowledging that I didn't merit that treatment. We've been talking since then and it's going well! Nickname to follow.

Alright, that's it for now lovers! Let's hope the rest of the week is less drama and more fun!

XOXO - Christine

Literal Music Videos

These are amazing:





Also, as a sidenote, Nick Carter turned 30 this past week, and Justin Timberlake turns 29 today...this means that I am officially nearing old age, or at least a quarter-life crisis. In addition, when I googled "backstreet boys ages" to verify this news, this article was the second thing to pop up: Jesus hates teenage girls (and the gays)

Blasphemy I say!

Alright, back to the Sunday night grind for me, but keep your eyes open, because I'll be eeking out more time to post in February than I did in January!

XOXO - Christine

Best Photos of 2009 (Via CollegeHumor)

Hellooooo my bunnies! I'm so sorry that I've been an absentee bloggerfriend, but shit's been cray-zy lately. Hopefully the best internet photos of 2009 will help alleviate your suffering!

Hores make everyone feel good Timmy.

Too soon?

Phe-nom-en-al.

Bitch had it coming...

Wish I'd known about this test back when I was dating my mildly gay ex-boyfriend...

I feel like this photo sums up my friendship with Anna. I'm all, "Love me, play with me, let me lick your face (metaphorically)!" And she's all, "Ugh...okay, but just this once, and only because I need a bath (hug) anyway."

Touche, sir.

True story? I once played darts against my sophomore year boyfriend's roomate. The bet? If I won, they would clean their own suite for a month; if he won, I would make sandwiches for my bf and all of his friends, on demand, for a week. Guess who won.

Ahahahahahahaha. That's all.

Love the Kool Aid man. "OH YEAH!"

Too funny.

60% of the time, it works every time.

Real Life Timon and Pumba

As a future educator, I really hope I get many, many tests back like this, solely for the purpose of posting them on these here interwebs.

Clever, clever, clever.

This joke never gets old.

Hope that entertained you guys for the moment; I promise to start posting more as soon as I get a handle on this little thing called time. Unfortunately, my favorite exchange (regarding facebook and those nutbags over at PETA) saved far too small and I'm too tired to deal with it, so check it out here: http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures/gallery:Most_Liked_Pictures_2009#1928947

XOXO - Christine

Awesome 25 Songs of 2009 Mash Up

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

XOXO - Christine

Un-fucking-real.

Check this crazy shit out; definitely worth the 7 minutes:

Apologies for the lack of blogging so far this week, but it's been a crazy one for me. I'll get back in the writing saddle later this week/weekend, I promise!

XOXO - Christine

Biggest Goal for 2010:

Lame as it sounds, this is my number one goal for the coming year. I want to live big, have fun, and embrace any challenges that come my way. More to come on my goals, the best/worst moments of 2009, and my never-ending love of black people this week!

XOXO - Christine

P.S. The better (and original) version of this song belongs to The Script, but they unfortunately don't have a jazzy video to go with it.

Happy New Years!!

Alright babies, I'm sorry, but Catherine's on her way to my apartment and there's shopping to be doone and errands to run before tonight's fabulous soiree, so the Best/Worst Life Moments of 2009 post is going to have to wait until tomorrow, when I'm experiencing my first Great Crippling Hangover of 2010. In saying goodbye to 2009, I'd like to thank you all for being wonderful, wonderful readers and I can't wait to see what the new year brings us!

Boston baby, Boston!

XOXOXOXOXO - Christine

P.S. If you're anything like I am and you need a social spotter when you go out (at all times?) so you don't drunk dial your lady doctor, your best friend's parents, and the school of the child you mentor (true story...thanks first night of junior year), then may I recommend the Don't Dial app for iPhones? See the magic at work here:So far, I've locked 34 numbers out of my phone until 8 o'clock tomorrow morning...everyone from my tailor to my extended family to my man friends, so I am now officially ready to rage. See you next year bunnies!!!!

In Preperation for 2010...

I was just watching the premiere for Real World DC and saw the latest trailer for MTV's newest hit show, "The Buried Life." Basic premise: 4 guys made a list of 100 things they wanted to do before they died. They bought a bus, traveled around the country (world?), made their wildest dreams come true, and filmed the whole thing. For each item they were able to cross off their collective list, they helped a complete stranger accomplish one of their own goals. Check out there website here, and some of their footage below.

Here's one of the older trailers:

And the newer one:


After watching something like that, you can't help but think about your own goals, and New Year's Eve being upon us....your resolutions. Of the 100 items on the guys' list, I've already managed to accomplish the following:

7. Plant a tree (gotta love middle school earth days...)
9. Destroy a computer (it's called college, and, well...my life in general.)
10. Learn to fly (I took flying lessons one summer when I was a camp counselor.)
11. Get a college degree (Graduated in '07 baby!)
13. Help someone build a house (I helped build two houses when I spent a summer as an assistant site supervisor for Habitat for Humanity in Portland, Maine.)
23. Learn how to play an instrument (I think with piano, viola, saxophone, and drums under my belt, I've got it covered.)
25. Drive across North America (We roadtripped to Derby last spring...does that count?)
27. Give a stranger a $100 bill (I gave $100 to my favorite sober, smiling, cvs-door-holdinghomeless man at the end of the summer I lived in Cambridge.)
29. Scream at the top of your lungs (who hasn't done this?)
49. Take a stranger out for dinner (I actually did this once when I made bff with a slightly crazy older woman at the MAC counter in the mall. We had a blast and met up a few more times after that for mentor-style lunches.)
51. Climb a large Mountain (Katahdin baby!)
58. See a dead body (Sadly true thanks to a handful of funerals.)
65. Learn how to sail (I used to sail at camp when I was younger and spent this past summer relearning how with Bobby as my coach.)
72. Throw a surprise party (My parent's surprise 25th wedding anniversary party was a huge hit!)

82. Win an award (This counts, right? Seriously? Why not?)

Hmm, well, at least this one does....looks like "being smart at math" finally paid off!

86. Teach an elementary school class (DONE. And this list didn't even specify that I had to teach them about sperm, trannies, and lady parts! Seriously though, that happened to me last spring. Sex ed in 5th grade is apparently no joke.)

88. Jump off a waterfall (Thanks Adventure Camp!)
90. Ride a rollercoaster (I still remember the first rollercoaster I ever rode...the Scooby Doo one at King's Dominion in Virginia when we moved to Savannah. Embarassing, but true. Cut me a little slack though, I was 9, people!)
92. Learn how to surf (I halfway accomplished this during one of my visits to my parents' condo in Florida. Too bad I got stuck in a rip tide and then crashed into a reef that we later found out was installed by the association next door to "maintain the shark environment." Good times.)
98. Race horses (I used to ride in Jimcanas at camp.)

Total: 20

Twenty out of one hundred? Without even trying? Not too shabby!

Here are some of the things I'd like to accomplish in the coming year(s):

In 2010...
1. Go paintballing (something I promised Ali for her bday last year and we still haven't gotten around to doing.)
2. Run a half marathon...full marathon if I'm feeling gutsy.
3. Relive my childhood summers by convincing all of my friends to go camping with me.
4. Head up to Maine and tackle the Class 5 rapids that almost killed me back in the day.
5. Become a poor man's Former Roommate Jenn, meaning that I not only want to teach myself to cook, but I'd also like to make it look half as effortless as she does.
6. Smoothly and successfully reonvate and decorate my new condo (more to come on that in 2010!!)
7. Get ballsier with my snowboarding and wakeboarding skills. Breaking my wrist while snowboarding left me a little gunshy, but I'm slowly getting my snow legs back.
8. Suck it up and hop the bus/train to visit my friends/family in NYC more than...never. The lofty goal: 4 times in 2010, versus 0 times in 2007, 2008, and 2009 combined. I'm looking at you, Lee.
9. Be outside all summer, hopefully while working at a non-profit day camp on one of the islands outside of the city.
10. Buy myself fresh peonies every week while they're in season (May and June). Few things make me happier than a vase full of these can.
11. Apologize to everyone I was bitchy to in 2009, namely the match.com date that looked like Tony Soprano's half-sibling who I disappeared on last spring, among others. It's never too late to say you're sorry, especially if you mean it.
12. Write more thoughtful birthday messages to all (okay, most) of my facebook friends.
13. Send Christmas cards for once.
14. Finally get my helmsman certification for sailing.
15. Go to more live shows, especially if Kings of Leon, Vampire Weekend, MGMT, La Roux, Drake, Jeremih, Lil Wayne, or Jay-Z come to town.
16. Be the best friend/daughter/cousin/niece/dog owner I can be.

Long term goals (to cross off in the next 5-10 years)...
1. Skydive
2. Swim with sharks (preferably in Australia...Bobby, you in?)
3. Sell the condo I just bought and buy/build a dreamhouse/penthouse.
4. Fall in love (cheesy, but we're talking long term...who doesn't want to fall in real, non-high-school-boyfriend-forever-and-always or maybe-gay-college-boyfriend-who-lives-down-the-hall-and-is-convenient, love? I promise to still be just as ridic after this happens, though I may have to retroactively delete some of my more risque posts...talk about a dilemma!)
5. Publish a book...or two...or, you know, three.
6. Be a contestant on a gameshow...or win a bananagrams tournament, whichever comes first.
7. Travel. Everywhere.
8. Make a tangible difference in the lives of my students. Help them get into Prep to Prep and ABC programs so they can go to prep/boarding schools for free.
9. Open a summer camp so city kids can experience the backwoods of Maine or New Hampshire.
10. Say yes to every spontaneous adventure proposed to me.

Lofty goals? Perhaps. Acheivable? Absolutely. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me come Friday...wish me luck! And get ready, the Best/Worst of 2009 post coming later today!

XOXO - Christine

The Adorable Years

While I finish working on my fab Best and Worst Life Moments of 2009 post, I present these unbelievably adorable childhood photos of me to help you pass the time. Please, enjoy.

The day I was adopted, April 16, 1986.

Moments after this photo was taken, the boy on the tractor (my neighbor whose bday it was) kissed me on the mouth, ate a fistful of poisonous mushrooms, and had to be rushed to the hospital. I guess I just have that kind of effect on men...

Such a cheeky little thing!

Our weekly father/daughter tradition consisted of buying, naming, racing, and then eating lobsters each and every Sunday in the summertime.

On our awesome boat, The Belvedere.

"Straight floatin' on a boat in the deep blue sea..."

4th Bday at Montessori.

Bday party, complete with magician!

Chomping on some donuts with my cousin Brian, and Nick, one of my childhood BFFs.

Wizard of Oz with Nick.

Halloween with Nick and Jill, my childhood BFFs.

"Bermuda? Bahamas? Come on baby mama..."

In front of our extended family's pub in Doolin, Ireland. This is where I learned to play the tin whistle and dance an Irish jig. Gotta love reconnecting with your heritage.

Bday warpaint at The Children's Museum in Portsmouth.

A decade later, dancing with my Dad the night before our family friend's wedding in Bermuda.

Graduating from prep school...one of my many crowning achievements. Definitely one of the best moments of the 2000's.

Alright, that's it for now friendlies. Check back tomorrow morning to see my recap of the best and worst life moments of 2009...if you've been reading since the beginning then you know, there have been some reeeeally extra-special ones, and in a laugh-out-loud, wtf kind of way...not in a beautiful, I'll-look-upon-this-fondly-when-I'm-old kind of way. Get ready.

Love you all to pieces.

XOXO - Christine

Merry Christmas, Jersey Shore Style

Christmas has come early this year, in the form of the following Jersey Shore video. Words cannot sufficiently express the joy these kids bring to my life.

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

And on Leno...

And on Conan...Please note Snooki's stepstool...

Part 2:


Also, to see the encounter that led to Snooki getting, well, Snookied, go HERE, and to actually see the punch heard round the world, go HERE.

And just in case you want to steal my brilliant idea for Halloween...here are some inspiring tutorials on becoming properly guido-fied:

And...

Alyssa Milano's Evolution: Jersey Shore from Alyssa Milano

And, my personal gift to you...here's some gossip (via Gawker) from a woman who bumped into the whole cast (minus J-WOWW) at Marquee in NYC last night. Enjoy!

"Like an early gift from Santa himself, last night I met the entire cast of Jersey Shore. Here's how it went down. I do not regularly go to clubs, but last night my friend wanted to go to Marquee and after several rounds of drinks, who was I to say no? We go and the first thing we notice is a black pompadour sticking up over one of the couches. And next to the pomp, was a definite situation. Seated was Paulie D, The Situation, Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie and that other one. Here's the rundown on our friends from NJ.

Snooki: In person, she's shorter and tanner than you would even dream of. She was cautious and definitely not used to "fame" yet. Her tits were HUGE and she was NOT the center of attention. I asked her to do some back hand springs and she politely refused. I asked if she planned on pursuing cheerleading professionally and she said yes.

The Situation: A total dickhead, in just the way I wanted him to be. He was too cool to speak to pretty much anyone other than the other cast members. HIS JACKET WAS VELVET! And he would not show us his abs.

Paulie D: Totally sweet. Talked to us for a while, I asked him about the scene where he turned away from that busted blonde girl and he laughed uncontrollably. I was very scared of his hair, but managed to cop a feel.

Ronnie and Sammi: Looked like they were still together, sat on the couch by themselves the entire night. In a nut shell, BORING! Oh, and Ronnie looks better on TV than in person.

The Other One: Don't know his name, but he was there.

One interesting note... Snooki and The Situation were together ALL NIGHT!! They were practically connected at the hip and I wouldn't be surprised if they are hooking up!"

And finally, in case you're not already doing so, I highly recommend that you follow our little tanned fameseekers on Twitter...like yesterday. JWOWW is @JENNIWOWW (see her website here), Snooki is @Sn00ki (where she talks about doing photo shoots with Teresa the table flipper from Real Housewives of NJ, aka my dream come true. Her website is here, and she costs $2,000 for personal appearances...which means that you can find my bday present donation fund here...kidding, sort of), Pauly D can be found at @MTVDJPaulyD, The Situation's Twitter name is, obviously, @ItsTheSituation, and as far as I can tell, Vinny, Ronnie, and Sammi don't have Twitter acounts, and Angelina might, but everyone hates her, so none of them are folliwing any @KKardashianofSeasideHeights's quite yet.

Love you all and I'll see you back here in a few days!!

XOXO - Christine