This is why guys think girls are NUTS...

Thanks to Diana who sent this beast of a forward to me a month or two ago. The girl in this tale makes me feel approximately 89% better all of my poor choices.

Back story: Boy meets girl (who seems normal). Boy hooks up with girl. Girl quickly unravels and becomes certifiably insane. This conversation takes place via BBM over the course of A WEEK AND A HALF; I kind of guessed as to where one day ended and another began. The "Steph" in question is Amanda's friend, who is apparently also bff with Aaron's ex. It's long, but definitely worth the read. Enjoy!

Day 1:
Amanda: Was last night weird
Aaron: Weird? Just a little – your big sister is bff with my ex-gf
Amanda: No I mean us sleeping together
Amanda: I'm sorry though about the whole steph thing. I now can imagine how that would be weird
Aaron: I mean it was weird just cause the red eyes I took during the week caught up to me and the fact we saw steph/chelsea who I associate with ex-gf
Amanda: I'm sorry. Ill def remember that in the future..they're some of my good friends but no need to all hang out together
Aaron: No worries
Amanda: K well have a good day at work
Amanda: And safe trip to boston and san fran
Aaron: Thanks
Amanda: Ugh Thanks! Talk to you later this week
Amanda: If not, that's cool too
Aaron: We'll talk, have a good week at work
Amanda: If you don't want to hang out, its cool
Aaron: We'll talk – just busy at work – and it’s awkward w/steph.
Amanda: Ok - I didn't know you still had feelings for you exgf. I'd rather not be involved in all that
Aaron: Alright, well we'll talk when I get back from san fran
Amanda: I mean do you?
Aaron: Sure
Amanda: Ok well I'm sure we'll talk at some point. Take care
Aaron: We'll talk - good luck with the new job this week
Amanda: And I didn't realize it would be that weird for you
Amanda: Thanks - take care

Day 2:
Amanda: I was in your building this morning!
Aaron: Here in midtown?
Amanda: Noo your apt! One of our clients is marshalls and a sales rep lives there. We had to pick her up for a meeting in our office
Amanda: Very random
Amanda: Anyway thought I'd tell you
Aaron: Sorry - meeting - yah, very random
Amanda: Hey - are you free to talk later
Aaron: Hey - I'm getting crushed
Aaron: Got to get a memo out at 7
Aaron: Then a dinner uptown
Aaron: And then I leave at 3am for boston
Amanda: No worries. When are you back from san francisco
Aaron: Thursday night/friday morning
Amanda: Okay we can talk then or whenever Good luck with everything this week
Amanda: And have a safe trip to boston and sf
Aaron: Yah, of course
Aaron: Thanks
Amanda: The reason why I was concerned is because I wanted to make sure you still wanted to talk
Aaron: Hey - do wanna talk. - I'm sorry just super busy
Amanda: Don't worry about today being busy. I was just concerned about you still being upset about the steph thing
Amanda: Ill talk to you on friday. Just know that I wanna talk and I'm still interested
Aaron: Alright, let's friday
Aaron: *talk
Amanda: Sounds good

Day 3:
Amanda: Hope san fran is good. Just went to the boat basin w. Friends and people I work with
Aaron: San fran is good - lots of work unfortunately. Glad you made it to the basin - good place
Amanda: I actually met up w my ex and his friends who is going out with one of girls I work with
Amanda: My ex suggested it. Haha so I thought of you
Aaron: Oh yikes
Amanda: it was an awkward night
Amanda: oh well
Amanda: K good luck with the work and get home safely!
Aaron: Thanks
Aaron: Have a goodnight
Amanda: You too. I'm excited to see you
Amanda: It better happen this weekend
Amanda: K or maybe not
Aaron: Hey - we'll talk friday
Amanda: Ok - but I'd guess I'd like to know if you wanna hang out again
Amanda: I'm guessing then we'll just talk about that on friday?
Amanda: K goodnight

Day 4:
Amanda: Sorry about yesterday.
Amanda: We can talk on friday - k?
Amanda: Aaron?
Amanda: Hey
Amanda: is everything ok?
Amanda: Hey - why haven't you responded
Aaron: Amanda, I don't think it's a good idea to see each other again.
Amanda: Ok why
Amanda: Is that what you wanted to talk to me about
Aaron: Just you're relation to steph is too close to my ex-gf and I don't think it'd work out
Amanda: I know
Amanda: But I enjoyed getting a drink with you and I think its a shame this is going to get in the way
Aaron: Well, I know, but right now it's not a good time
Amanda: Why is that
Amanda: I totally understand I'm just wondering
Aaron: I work a lot at the moment which makes me skeptical for overcoming the fact that your close friends are very close to an ex-gf of mine of 3 years
Aaron: This isn't a science; I just don't think it's a good idea
Amanda: Aaron, I seriously understand - and empathize with you a lot. While I am only going to be here this summer, I'm moving here for good in january. I didn't want anything serious this summer - just wanted to see someone.
Amanda: I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I'd love to see you when I move here - maybe things will be different
Aaron: Alright, when you move here let's see where things stand, but I'm sorry, right now isn't the time
Amanda: K - well I hope its the right time for me then. Have a great summer

Day 5:
Amanda: At the boat basin haha
Amanda: K bye
Aaron: Have fun
Aaron: K
Amanda: Well I know you don't wanna talk to me anymore - that's why I said 'k bye'
Amanda: One last thing - its good your not seeing me til jan.
Amanda: With the weight and all...
Aaron: I'm just at work - that's all
Aaron: Don't worry about it
Amanda: :-)
Amanda: I can't believe you don't wanna see me anymore
Amanda: K bye. Just know that I understand where your coming from with the steph thing
Amanda: But you're missing out on a great girl
Amanda: Goodnight

Day 6:
Amanda: Are you still at work
Amanda: ?
Aaron: Yah - still here
Amanda: Man I'm sorry. My best friends surprised me and are visiting this weekend. They aren't moving to the city for another 2 weeks but knew I've been lonely - they're amazing. Come out and meet us!
Amanda: K I'm guessing that's a no.
Amanda: Ok I'm not going to continue to drunk text you...have a good night slash I wish you didn't make the decision that you did
Amanda: ?
Amanda: The decision makes me sad
Amanda: Are you alive
Amanda: This is just rude.
Amanda: I'm home - gnight
Amanda: Seriously is everything ok
Amanda: I$

Day 7:
Amanda: I'm sorry about last night
Amanda: Hi - my dad wanted to smoke hookah for fathers day so I brought him to le souk
Amanda: Goood times....
Aaron: That's a good place to go - bet he liked it
Amanda: He's loving out - he loves cigars so its right up his alley
Aaron: Very cool
Amanda: I wanna see you at some point. This is ridic
Amanda: I really think it doesn't make sense that we can't just hang out to get to know one another
Amanda: Without steph - just the two of us
Amanda: What do you think
Aaron: I'm super busy
Aaron: At work now actually
Amanda: Oh na
Amanda: Oh man I'm sorry
Amanda: Good luck with work - ill talk to you later
Aaron: K
Amanda: I'm moving down to the financial district this week
Amanda: ah sorry wrong person - I've been smoking all day. Out of it
Amanda: Are you still at work
Aaron: Yup
Amanda: Wow - go home
Amanda: I mean when can u go home
Aaron: Probably midnight or one
Amanda: I feel bad
Amanda: For you
Aaron: Don't
Aaron: I signed up for it
Amanda: true - and it sounds very impressive
Amanda: I'm starting to pack my stuff up. Moving to battery park to live with my gfs at end of the week.
Amanda: I've been lonely without them ha. They'll all be here by july
Aaron: Cool - listen - I'm super busy
Aaron: I gotta focus
Amanda: Ok sorry - later

Day 8:
Amanda: Hey - sorry for interupting. But I think you're right, we shouldn't hang out
Amanda: K so goodnight and good luck with the work
Amanda: Is that okay
Amanda: Ok you're working so I'm interpreting that as a yes

Day 9:
Amanda: Did you get my bbm yesterday
Aaron: Yah, I got it late - look super busy - I got a presentation in London on Wednesday
Amanda: Good luck with the presentation
Amanda: And enjoy london
Amanda: Hey - when are you leaving
Amanda: K still working. Good luck
Amanda: Hey - the reason why I don't wanna hang out is because you're never gonna be around. I know your ridiculously busy with work and I wanna hang out with someone on a consistent basis
Amanda: I'm sure you're still working but I just wanted to tell you my reasoning
Amanda: K bye
Amanda: Can you at least respond
Aaron: Listen - look - you're right I work a lot
Aaron: I'm actually on a conference call
Amanda: Plus to be honest I'm offended about the steph thing - you didn't even want to get to know one another before not hanging out
Amanda: I know I'm high maintenence in that I want someone to be there - and I'm guessing that's not gonna happen with you
Amanda: So you work a lot and I don't want that - it doesn't make sense for me
Amanda: Anyway, you're working. I'm going to someones to watch a movie
Amanda: Have a good night and safe trip to london
Aaron: Ok - thanks, night
Amanda: do you agree with me in not hanging out
Aaron: yah, it's best
Amanda: best because of work or steph?
Aaron: Both
Amanda: The steph thing doesn't make sense - you wouldn't be seeing her, you'd be seeing me.
Amanda: Listen - I'm normally not like this with guys. At this point, I would normally just move on and not even think twice - but for some reason I'm interested in you
Amanda: I wish the steph thing didn't bother you - if that was the case, I'd get over the working fairly quickly
Amanda: anyway, I know that I want hang out with you - its bothering me that you don't feel the same or don't wanna make any acommodations with work
Amanda: Good luck with the presentation!

Day 10:
Amanda: Fyi - I am currently 'babysitting' clients in cali.

Day 11:
Amanda: Are you in london?
Amanda: The reason why I'm asking is cuz I'm actually there now
Amanda: My dad had to go for biz - and surprised me with a plane ticket. My bf lena lives in germany - she came to visit - we just got home

Day 12:
Amanda: Hey -
Amanda: I don't know uf
Amanda: If you got this but I'm in london with my dad. Leaving tomorrow morning
Amanda: Anyway, hope things are good
Amanda: Are you back in ny
Amanda: If u don't wanna hang out when I get back please let me know

Day 13:
Amanda: Hey - let's meet up tonight. Steph's at the beach and I'm out with my other friends
Amanda: Yes or no? Let me know
Amanda: Hello?
Amanda: ?? Can you answer
Amanda: I'm confused
Amanda: Aaron?
Amanda: All I have to say is you're missing out - ha
Amanda: Seriously
Amanda: Are u alive
Amanda: Hi - can you just say you don't wanna hang out anymore so I'm not confused
Amanda: Its actually really rude that you haven't responded
Amanda: What's wrong with you - do you mind just manning up and saying you don't wanna hang out
Amanda: I've honestly never encountered anyone that's been this rude. Its weird
Amanda: I'm assuming that you're not going to respond.
Amanda: With that said, you don't know anything about me and for some reason you didn't want to get to know anything about me. What you should know is I'm a great girl and don't deserve to be treated like this
Amanda: And, in the end, its unfortunate because your missing out
Amanda: *you're
Amanda: Good bye and good luck
Amanda: Aaron?

Jesus motherfucking Christ, I think I finally understand where the notion that all bitches are crazy comes from...

Alright, I'm going to go watch some action movies, eat some meat, and man myself as much as possible (without becoming a total bull dyke) so that I never devolve into this pathetic and somewhat derranged "Amanda" character...awesome.

XOXO - Christine