I AM SO MOTHER F'ING EXCITED FOR THE SEASON TWO PREMIERE OF JERSEY SHORE THAT I CAN'T NOT PULL A KANYE AND TYPE IN ALL CAPS. SO. F'ING. EXCITED.
For those of you not quite up to speed on the lives and times of our seven* favorite tanned, (mostly) toned, and (occasionally) poufed guidos and guidettes, here's Gawker's guide to to everything you need to know to make the most of your JShore 2 viewing experience on this fine evening.
Best part of the guide? When talking about JWOWW's love life, Gawker states the following: "Last season she had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop her from touching DJ Paulie's D."
Priceless, especially since Pauly's D piece is pierced. No really, it is, and it's horrifying.
Also, there's this (watch the whole this to see the infamous Snooki punch):
And this:
And, for those of you who want to see the Snooki punch from every possible angle:
*Please note that I said "seven" above. This is because Angelina is not tanned, toned, or poufed, nor does she count as anyone's favorite anything. Just keep in mind that she pretty much sucks and you'll be a-okay.
So, my good friend Lee totally spotted the Jersey Shore crew filming season 3 in Seaside Heights this weekend, and I am BEYOND jealous, though perhaps this will make up for it....
Tomorrow morning I'll be heading up to Maine and NH for sun and fun-filled weekend with some of my favorite people. To get ready for the awesomeness to come, I've been listening to the following songs on repeat...please enjoy a glimpse into my summer mix: Hope you guys have a great time this weekend, whatever your plans may be!
FYI, I am shitfaced. This is what happens when you meet up with your friends at 7PM for some $3 per drink triple-fisting action.
Things I have done/realized in the past four hours:
I drank 4 Coors Lights and then remembered that I am awesome (Editor's Note: Don't worry, I never actually forgot that I was, but the degree to which I am a ridiculous human being just happened to hit me around this time).
I may or may not have hit on a member of the Babson class of 2011. In my defense, he was wearing plaid and looked at least 23. (Editor's Note: This was a pretty hilarious exchange. He was wearing a plaid shirt and was furious that I called it flannel. He then proceeded to make a random girl and I pet it, tricking us into hitting on him. Cool times.)
I FB chatted like 17,000 (okay, three...) people and uploaded a bunch of awesome photos after taking down many beers and talking on the phone with Tom of Script fame about our respective new jobs. (Editor's Note: FYI, Tom friended me the other week and we've been chatting occasionally, mostly because we're in the same field and partly because we always did have great talks. Apologies for not mentioning this sooner. Also, Jim and I had a lovely convo and I'm glad to see that we can be friends.)
Today was awesome and I am beyond excited to spend the next two months prepping for the fall, hanging out with my friends, and enjoying the gorgeous weather. Things are good, and despite the craziness of the past year, I'm happy and pretty thrilled about life in general.
Jesus I'm a great speller when I booze, slash ALL the time haha. I'll be back tomorrow to post some pre-fourth of July items. Have a lovely night my little loverfriends!!!
So.....I won't be posting any life updates today because my best married man friend, Odd Job, just called and invited me to this afternoon's Sox game! I haven't seen him in forever, so I'm pretty pumped, especially considering how ready he looks for some awesome Sox action:
Love it. Will tweet some photos from the game, but until then, and until tomorrow, kisses for all of you and get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather!!
Subject Line: I’ve Notified Law Enforcement Good Memories
Dear Tabitha,
I’ve been doing a lot of heavy drinkingthinking, and I want to deboard your crazy traindon’t think we should keep seeing each other. I really like your apartment you and I’m obviously very attracted to your roommate you, and in a lot ways I am baffled as to how you manage to function daily on even the most basic levelwe match well, but I just can’t see myself watching you pick lint off your sweater and eat it againstaying in a relationship here.
It’s a very specific general feeling, more based on the incident where you shoved the prongs of a fork under your thumbnail until it bled without commentwhere I am in my life. It’s easy hard to explain, and I guess I needed my recent vacation to hide from you figure things out, but I really feel like it wouldn’t be fair to keep boning seeing you after i found the dead racoons in your freezerif that’s the way I’m leaning. I feel like if I don’t make this decision now, my life will be at risk in the very near futurewe’d both get more and more emotionally invested, and yet I’d still feel like I’d need to probably move out of state leave, and then it would be much worse for my physical safety.
Just to be clear, this has everythingnothing to do with everything anything you did or definitely diddidn’t do. You’ve caused my very soul to shudder been great in all ways, and I really did recoil in disgust enjoy getting to know you. Believe me this was a prudent not an easy decision to make, and it’s not one I made without first securing an order of protection lightly either.
I wish you were locked up the best - you’re on your way to a 72 hour involuntary psych hold brilliant, every idea you have is born of some deeply seeded psychosispure genius! You’re beyond drug therapy hilarious yet curiously allowed to roam freesensitive, tolerably attractive cute yet bangable sexy also. And you could win gold in the crazier than a sh*thouse rat contest kissing olympics. Please don’t call me hate me, and I hope you are very far away very soon understand.
I’ve already changed my name,Best of luck to you in all that you do,
-FormerlyMax Smith
Also via hownottodateonline.com....
This looks like approximately 30% of my Match.com interactions. Like this one. Remember?
Lazy-eye: NICE LEGGS
Me: Great pick up line...not creepy at all. P.S. No thanks.
Lazy-eye: miss picky on the internet? LMAO
Me: The last thing I need in my life is a 41-year old man who doesn't understand the proper usage of capitalization. They're called standards, and, shocker, I have them; in fact, most girls my age do. Good luck finding a 21-year old "4 FRIENDSHIP AND SOMETHING REALLY COOL."
Welcome to your very first Music Monday my friends! Those of you who know me personally know that I have extremely eclectic taste in music. The playlist I'm currently listening to is a mix of dirty rap, country, love songs that alternately make me smile slash want to die inside, and, of course, Vampire Weekend. In addition to loving a variety of music, I also tend to discover certain songs before everyone else catches on to how great they are, like La Roux's "Bulletproof," which I've loved since it came out last year, but is only now getting major radio play.
In that spirit, I'm going to start posting music recommendations and videos each Monday for your viewing/listening pleasure. Some of it will be brand spankin' new, some will be old school, and all of it will be awesome in one way or another. I'm basically going to post whatever I've been awkwardly blasting as I zoom around the city with my windows rolled down, and I hope you love it as much as I do!
Enjoy....
This week, I'm recommending 16 songs that have been in heavy rotation on my itunes. Just because it's been gorgeous out lately, I'll begin with Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk," off their self-titled 2008 album, and "Cousins" and "Giving up the Gun" from their most recent album, "Contra." See "Cousins" below:
If you love Vampire Weekend like I do, then you'll probably also enjoy Pheonix's "1901" and Gyptain's "Hold You," which is my top cruising-around-the-city song at the moment. You should also check out Black Kids, specifically "I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend to Dance with You," anything by MGMT, and if you must, Sleigh Bells, though I think they're a bit overrated at the moment. Here is Pheonix, live on Letterman:
Bob Sinclair's "World, Hold On," might do the trick for you as well, but I have to be honest and say that I much preferred his smash hit, "Love Generation," which was the theme song to my senior year of college. Alright, fuck it, I'm offically endorsing "Love Generation" over "World, Hold On," but I'm too lazy to change the playlist, so....deal.
Moving right along....if you're a country music lover, then I'm probably not telling you anything new when I recommend the Zac Brown Band's "Toes," but summer is upon us and I couldn't resist adding it to the playlist. On the country front, I've also been loving "Gimme That Girl" by Joe Nichols, the same guy responsible for "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off." Compare and contrast below:
If you're a fan of the hot mess that is Ke$ha, then you'll love her latest singles, "Take it Off" and "Your Love is My Drug." Favorite line? "So I got a question, do you want to have a slumber party in my basement; do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum; is my love your drug?"
If you're in the mood for hip hop, then definitely check out "Beamer, Benz, or Bentley" by the comeback kid, Lloyd Banks. Best line? "She always ready, to give me that Becky. Last time it was so good I almost crashed my Bentley." I like to think that I'm up on the latest lingo, but what the fuck is a Becky? A new name for a blow jay? So strange.
I can't not mention "Airplanes" by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams from Paramore, because it's just so damn good for shouting along (or interperetively dancing) to in the car.
On that note....I'm still pissed that I never bought tickets to this year's SummerJam. Perhaps a little Jason Derulo will cheer me up?
Yup...that definitely did the trick!
Next up we have Trey Songz, with "Neighbors Know My Name," which should be added to everyone's sex mixes ASAP. The video is hot, but involves a tub of milk, which is just a tad too awk, even for this blog.
My final recommendations are best suited for those times when you're either crazy happy and want to fully embrace it, or for the times when shit is so bad that you just need to wallow for a while. Enter Colbie Callait with the epically depressing "I Never Told You."
And Angel Taylor, with the slightly more cheerful, "Like You Do."
Whew, that was a lot. Next week I'll probably only be recommending a few new songs, but I figured I'd start Music Mondays with a bang. I hope you guys enjoyed my random assortment of songs and I'll be back soon!
Cannot describe my love for this song with words, so here's the video:
This song, and pretty much anything by Vampire Weekend, immediately transports me to my lake house, where I'm surrounded by water, sun, and friends, and am generally loving life. What I'm trying to say is that it would be basically impossible for this song to not put a smile on my face.
Speaking of Vampire Weekend, I was listening to "Oxford Comma" for the thousandth time the other week and my mind was BLOWN by a lyrical revelation. Ready for it? Skip to 1:41 to hear the slickest Lil' Jon shout out ever (no "YEAAAHHH, OKAAYYY" here).
Incredible, right? In case you missed it, the song goes: "First it's to the window, then it's to the wall; Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth..." Too funny that it took me well over two years to notice haha.
Anyway lovers, I hope you've all had wonderful weeks and I will be posting a break-up/life update later tonight or tomorrow!
So remember how I previously discussed my barriers to being a better blogger? And my first issue listed was the condo renovation? Well, we're slowly but surely making progress! Here are some photos from before and during the construction:
Old view from the kitchen...boo.
New view!
Which comes courtesy of the closet demo above.
Awkward bar/closet situation (don't even get me started on that decor).
Gone, along with the carpet.
I seriously can't wait until I have all of the "after" shots for you guys and everything is all beautiful and blue and white! My mom actually asked me if I seriously wanted blue everywhere, and I had to point out to her that 24 years of loving something means it's not a phase. I mean, really, talk about not knowing your child haha.
In other news, I went out this past weekend and partied my face off for Natasha's birthday.
Also in attendance were Lauren, Margaret, and many others, along with...drumroll please...a new boy I've been seeing (and some of his friends). Unfortunately for you, he knows about the blog, and he's not entirely comfortable with the idea of me talking about him here...but I will tell you this: He makes me laugh, he treats me well, and he partied like a champion with my friends this past weekend. Any guy who can hold his own while breaking it down at Bell with us gets an A+ in my book.
Alright, it's time for bed, but watch out for a post coming up regarding "Hot Tub Time Machine," which I am beyond pumped to see later this week!
Remember last summer when I asked you guys to check out my friend Donnie's album? And you did? And you inevitably LOVED it? Well, I'm asking you to do it again...this time for a kid named Sam Adams Wisner (I really hope that's his real name). As far as I can tell, based on the non-Boston Lager related google hits I found, this kid's a senior at Trinity and is completely ridiculous.
I just downloaded his brand new album, "Boston's Boy," on itunes, and I suggest you do the same. His style is semi-Asher Roth in that he's young, white, and likes to talk about getting high, but he also has a surprising amount of edge for a Wayland native and fellow NESCACer. The beats are awesome, the lyrics are tight, and he even incorporates some espanol and a few wonderfully educational lines about supply and demand into his song, "I Get High." Perhaps this is what happens when rappers don't drop out of the college they claim to love so much? Just a thought...
Another favorite musical moment comes when he meshes his own backbeat with the instrumental of "Walking on Broken Glass" in his song "Driving Me Crazy." Too good for words. In addition to being crazy talented, he's also hilarious, as I discovered via his twitter account. Behold:
Also, as a sidenote, Nick Carter turned 30 this past week, and Justin Timberlake turns 29 today...this means that I am officially nearing old age, or at least a quarter-life crisis. In addition, when I googled "backstreet boys ages" to verify this news, this article was the second thing to pop up: Jesus hates teenage girls (and the gays)
Blasphemy I say!
Alright, back to the Sunday night grind for me, but keep your eyes open, because I'll be eeking out more time to post in February than I did in January!
Hellooooo my bunnies! I'm so sorry that I've been an absentee bloggerfriend, but shit's been cray-zy lately. Hopefully the best internet photos of 2009 will help alleviate your suffering!
Hores make everyone feel good Timmy.
Too soon?
Phe-nom-en-al.
Bitch had it coming...
Wish I'd known about this test back when I was dating my mildly gay ex-boyfriend...
I feel like this photo sums up my friendship with Anna. I'm all, "Love me, play with me, let me lick your face (metaphorically)!" And she's all, "Ugh...okay, but just this once, and only because I need a bath (hug) anyway."
Touche, sir.
True story? I once played darts against my sophomore year boyfriend's roomate. The bet? If I won, they would clean their own suite for a month; if he won, I would make sandwiches for my bf and all of his friends, on demand, for a week. Guess who won.
Ahahahahahahaha. That's all.
Love the Kool Aid man. "OH YEAH!"
Too funny.
60% of the time, it works every time.
Real Life Timon and Pumba
As a future educator, I really hope I get many, many tests back like this, solely for the purpose of posting them on these here interwebs.
Clever, clever, clever.
This joke never gets old.
Hope that entertained you guys for the moment; I promise to start posting more as soon as I get a handle on this little thing called time. Unfortunately, my favorite exchange (regarding facebook and those nutbags over at PETA) saved far too small and I'm too tired to deal with it, so check it out here: http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures/gallery:Most_Liked_Pictures_2009#1928947
Lame as it sounds, this is my number one goal for the coming year. I want to live big, have fun, and embrace any challenges that come my way. More to come on my goals, the best/worst moments of 2009, and my never-ending love of black people this week!
XOXO - Christine
P.S. The better (and original) version of this song belongs to The Script, but they unfortunately don't have a jazzy video to go with it.
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