Wanted: Lion Cub and/or Midget Friend

So, for those of you not following my obnoxious photo tweets about Bradydog, etc. on Twitter...the little guy was here last week and brought much joy and laughter into the lives of all who had the pleasure of running into him on the mean streets of Boston. There were playdates with Zeke and Olivia, trips to school, whole afternoons spent in the park...really, it was the highlight of this entire city's November. Sadly, I had to return him to my parents after a few days and it was truly a devastating loss...not just for me, but for Massachusetts as a whole.

While desperately searching for a way to remedy the situation, New Roomie Kate came up with an ingenius idea. Ready for it?

Befriend/hire a midget, excuse me, "little person," clothe him in a lion costume, and return home every night to his wagging little tail and smiling face! Incredible, right? We have determined that peeing when meeting new people is optional. Authenticity is nice, but no one reeeally enjoys cleaning up urine...trust me, I would know. In addition to being a lovable ball of joy and wonder at all times, we would expect said Little Lion to morph into a cleaning and organizing machine whenever we leave the apartment...you know, the way that stuffed animals totally come to life as soon as you leave the room.

For their services, we would house them in a lovely plastic crate, with the option to upgrade to the foot of my bed after a 3-month trial period. The starting pay is 3 milkbones and two meals per day, with a negotiable bonus of one chew toy and/or soup bone for each time they are required to come to the bar and wrangle our drunk selves. Two chew toys if they have to chaperone us while we sleep so we don't throw up on our laptops...just saying, it's a possibility.

So, if you know any little people and/or small children looking for a yob in these uncertain times, or simply looking to scratch and lick their way to being this happy,

Sweatshirt not included with offer.

then please direct them to this blog, and remind them that like ibankers circa 2004, they should look beyond the initial salary, as they'll be earning at least half of their income in (drunk patrol) bonuses.

Until the next post...

XOXO - Christine

In Preparation for Trick or Drink 2009...

Oh friends, it's that time of year again...that time of year when girls get their whore on and boys live out their latent fantasies for one sacred evening. In the spirit of this tradition, here are some photos from last year's Trick or Drink:

Our apartment last year. We were stop #4 and served "Blackout Punch," which glowed under the blacklight, thanks to an infusion of tonic water!

Chuck Bass, obviously.

Kissing Booth, The Hamburglar, and Free Mustache Rides!

Teague as McLovin!

Boobs, enough said.

The girls and I were a bachelorette party (my theoretically phenomenal idea). Anna was our beautiful bride-to-be, and apparently our costumes were soooo good that everyone thought we were a legit bachelorette party...come one people, it's Halloween, use your brains!

Jenn's boyfriend, the coordinator of Trick or Drink, was a rock, and his roommates were paper and scissors. Such a great DIY idea!

Anna, making moves on the self-proclaimed "gay pirate." By the end of the night, I'm pretty sure I was able to convince him that his leopard stretch pants and plastic bone made him more suited to be a gay caveman. Also, not the handy nipple holes in that very fashionable silk shirt. Very chic.

Nothing says party like a sheep holding you up to do a kegstand...Dorsh, Karen, and Praski as an 80's skier, a Giants' player, and an Oompa Loompa.

Leah, using her friend Pablo as a drinking apparatus.

Leah, the day laborer.

Praski managed to gank Leah's lover, Pablo, and eat many tostitos out of his back opening. That sounds wrong on so many levels, and trust me, it totally was haha.

Karen and Ali the Giants' players and Charlie as Winnie the Pooh.

Ali making some moves on Greenman.

Dear Ali, this photo makes me glad I dipped my pen in your ink, bro.

Greenman was irresistable!

Ahahahahaha. I love my friends.

Shockingly enough, these are dance moves.

The death of Pedro/fighting over the gay pirate's bone.

Fighting an actual pirate for the gay pirate's bone.

Aggression duly noted.

Pretty much under the house to get that bone. This is why "naughty" Halloween costumes are overrated.

Alright lovers, that's about all I have for the moment...more to come this week, especially since MY 24TH BIRTHDAY is on Wednesday!!!

XOXO - Christine