Awkward Family Photo Friday!

Happy Friday! To get your day started off right, I thought I'd share this fab new find, courtesy of my dear friend Ali (yes, the same Ali who alerted me to the existence of PAN.com, she's just good like that). Here are some photos from AFP.com for your browsing pleasure:

This tree is torn between slitting it's limbs and touching itself. Personally, I'd be leaning towards the former...

Joe Dirt, before his Hollywood career began.

Leah? Is that you there on the left? I swear I've seen this photo in your apartment. Framed. And with museum quality uplighting. I'm just saying...

Alright, that's it for tonight. I have a busy busy Friday ahead of me, but I will do my best to get some solid posting in this weekend. I have much to say about so many things...including Patches O'Houlihan, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Finding Emo/Glambert's second place AI finish, last week's aquarium date, and the discovery of several new fun things on the interwebs!

As MGE (Mildly Gay Ex, for those of you not in the know) would say, I hope you all have FAB-U-LOUS Fridays!!

XOXO - Christine

Patches O'Houlihan Update

Oh friendlies....do I have an update for you!

So, as you all know by now, God gets his kicks by smiting me daily for not believing in him. Sometimes this smiting comes in the form of the T not running due to "power outages," or a drunken mexican aggressively hitting on me whilst sitting thisfar from me on said T, or, I don't know, perhaps by presenting me with average looking men who are good in bed but insist upon lying to me on the regular? AKA JDubs and the "cop" formerly known as Patches O'Houlihan."

Alright, so last Wednesday night, I went out to dins with Ali and Karen and got a little drunski. I texted Patches a very ladylike message ("Guess who&s drunkkk...") and after a flurry of dirty and logistical texting, he showed up at my door (Jenn, aren't you glad you go to sleep early!). One bang sesh later...I called him out. Here is the convo that followed:

Me: So, funny story, remember that friend I pointed out to you on my wall who was from Belmont? Well her roommate, Melissa, used to have a thing with your roommate.
Patches: What are you talking about?
Me: Your roommate, Jason? Melissa had a thing with him a while ago. I was telling her how we got locked out on the roof last weekend and I guess she realized she'd met you before and talked to Jason about it.
Patches: Um, Patches O'HOULIHAN lives with Jason, I live with Bill Walsh. I'm Patches O'GRADY.
Me: Well, not according to Melissa. She e-mailed me earlier saying she knew who you were, and that I should be careful because you've been lying to me.

--Insert long convo about how he's not Patches O'Houlihan, but he knows him well and many other lies.--

Post-convo, he tells me he'll ask his boss about the date for my cousin's wedding that I invited him to in June. He begins to head out the door, but comes back and gives me a hug and a kiss on the head. It was very out of character and I have no idea what made him do this. Maybe he thought that I naively believed lie-fest part deux and felt like he was off the hook?

Anyway, after he left, I called Melissa and was like WTF. We decided that the best way to confirm that Patches O'Grady and Patches O'Houlihan were the same person would be to find out what kind of car Jason's roommate drives. JACKPOT. Patches O'Houlihan drives a black Nissan Xterra...just like my dear manfriend Patches O'Grady...how curious...

After hearing this, I obviously couldn't contain myself and wound up calling him right then. He shockingly picked up (I didn't think he would after our earlier convo). I told him that I knew for sure that he was lying to me, and that I didn't care that he lied, because sometimes I tell guys that my name is Chloe, but that I needed him to acknowledge the lie so we could forget about it and move on.

Finally, he goes, "will that make things better?" I said, "yes, 100%," and he then conceded, "yeah, I did." I asked him why, and he said it was to avoid, "stalker shit." The irony of that reasoning is hilarious to me, because we wound up figuring out who he really is without even meaning to and without his real name. After he admitted it, he sounded incredibly bummed, but I'm not sure why. My theory is that he realized that by discovery his real name, I must have also uncovered the lie about his job. Melissa and I agree that he was probably embarrassed about this and felt like an idiot for trying to make himself look better.

I told him it didn't change anything and that I still wanted to bang him, and that I wasn't going to stalk him or want to date him, etc., but that I just wanted him to be honest. He told me he'd still check on that date for me (again, surprising, I didn't think he would), and that was that.

OH MY LIFE.

A second update for this post: Patches and I briefly talked on Friday because I wanted to confirm that he wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. He apparently has another wedding to go to on the 20th, so he can't take two weekends in a row off from work. I told him no worries, and to have a fun Memorial Day Weekend. He immediately responded with, "Are you mad at me? Are you going to be around this weekend?" I guess that means we're still a go..! Get ready for some more updates my friendlies!!

XOXO - Christine

P.S. I hope everyone had an awesome weekend full of beer, BBQ's, and fun! Mine was pretty low-key, but very relaxing. I went to NH for a few days, and then returned to Boston and spent all day today hanging out with Melissa and one of my new neighbors (Hey Andrew) on the roof deck. We also have new neighbors upstairs who seem cool, so it's looking like we might have a more dormstyle living situation in the buidling this summer. I love the idea of everyone partying together and hanging out on the roof, so I'm beyond pumped for the coming months and I hope you guys are too!

Patches O'Houlihan, Rent-a-Cop

Please enjoy tonight's edition of "Convos with Odd Job." The subject matter is my latest manfriend and the awkwardness that is my life...but what else is new, right?

Odd Job: hey there
Me: heyyyyoooo
Odd Job: how goes it?
Me: I am exhausteddddd. I have a funny man story for you though. Remember the guy I was seeing?
Odd Job: yes
Me: well I dropped him. He was way too flaky...and I've been banging a cop.
Odd Job: HAHAHAHA, that's awesome.
Me: His name is Patches O'Grady*
Odd Job: Right
Me: except I was telling my friends about it this weekend, and all of a sudden Melissa (Anna's new roomie) yells, "I KNOW HIM!" Apparently she used to have a thing with his roommate.
Odd Job: no way!!!!
Me: Yeah, and she did some digging this week and apparently "Patches O'Grady" the "cop" is actually "Patches O'Houlihan" the "jail guard." WTF. FML.
Odd Job: hahaha, so he's really not a cop...he's a rentacop
Me: that's even worse than the time JDubs lied to me about going to Harvard...mostly b/c I knew that was a lie from the moment he said it haha
Odd Job: that's awesome. you sure can find 'em
Me: I know, right? My life is a jooooke
Odd Job: It's entertaining.
Me: the night I met the "cop," I texted DD, the flaky one, and he didn't respond (this was easter weekend). So I walked up to the cop, whose friend had hit on me earlier in the night BY STEPPING ON ME (sidenote: really? that's supposed to win me over?), and told him that he was more attractive than his friend. Five minutes later we went back to my place.
Odd Job: hahaha oh wow.
Me: but yeah, I think he lied about the cop thing to impress me, and then lied about his name in case I was crazy.
Odd Job: yeah I'd say he definitely lied about being a cop to get with you.
Me: but then the next day, after the initial hook up, I texted him, and I believe my exact words were: "Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?" To which he replied, "What does that entail?"
Odd Job: Hahahaha. He's an idiot if he didn't understand what that meant.
Me: Well, I think he was trying to play coy. Anyway, I told him it meant that we could bang it out on the regular while avoiding public interaction. He said he was into it and BAM, our "courtship" began.
Odd Job: Haha, that's awesome. So now you have a new FB.
Me: Yup. He's come over 5 or 6 times now, twice last week, and he usually stays over, but has yet to come clean about his real name/job. He actually referred to himself as "O'Grady" last week, which is odd since THAT'S NOT HIS NAME and it seems like far too much effort to keep up the charade. Also, when I asked him to tell me about his job b/c I thought it sounded fascinating, he said he didn't like to talk about work. Now it makes sense haha.
Odd Job: haha, yes, he tried to cover himself, but apparently that didn't work. When are you going to call him out?
Me: Well, he'll probably come over some night this weekend, at which point I'll probably bang him and then call him out. Mostly so he won't feel attacked right when he shows up and I'm like, "the jig is up O'HOULIHAN!"
Odd Job: hahahaha, you're amazing.
Me: oh I knoooowww...

*Names have been modified to protect the "innocent." The "cop" does have a sweet mid-calf shamrock tat (classy, I know), so I thought I'd roll with the spirit of our ethnicity when renaming him.

So there you have it my friendlies. DD is out and Patches O'Houlihan is in. I've been saying all along that I don't need a boyfriend, I just need a consistent man situation, so this new set up is perfection. The whole FB thing was my idea, so I think he gets that I'm not looking for anything more at the moment. That's positive, especially since, according to his roommate (Melissa's former manfriend), he just got out of a longterm on-again, off-again relationship. I promise I'm playing it cool, because I would definitely prefer to avoid the mistakes I made with Comedy "I'll shoot you a text" Club. Thankfully, Patches is way better in bed and at life than CC ever was, you know, minus the whole rent-a-cop thing...

Hilarious addendum to this story: Patches came over around 2 or 3AM on the Saturday night before last (he was at Preakness this past weekend), and we went up to the roof to hang out. He was shitfaced and wanted to go urban hiking up the fire escape, which was fine, until he let the door slam behind us and we were totally locked out of the building. After trying every door and window, we finally realized it was hopeless and he had to sack up, go to the ground level, and scale a big, sketchy fence to get around front and let me in. Obviously I thought this was the most hilarious slash hottest thing ever, hence the following tuesday night hangout.

Moral of the story: As confusing and frustrating as life can be, it's also hilarious and fun. Happiness is often a choice, and it's one that you have to make on a daily basis. I could choose to be mad at Patches O'Houlihan, but I'd honestly rather just have fun with him and chalk the lies up to the fact that he thought we'd never hang out again. Eventually we'll part ways and I'll find a new guy to get locked on the roof with, but until then, I'm going to sit back and enjoy the ride...pun intended haha. Priorities people!!

Alright, enough of that haha. I have a looong day of class tomorrow, so it's bedtime for this bunny!

XOXO - Christine

"What Kind of Countess Do You Think I Am? His Mistress Does THAT..."

Hands down best cartoon parody channel on youtube. Enjoy.

Real Housewives of NYC:


Millionaire Matchmaker:


The Hills:


XOXO - Christine

O.M.F.G.

Hi bunnies, I just wanted to post a quick apology for not updating in OVER A WEEK. Seriously, have I been thinking?? Anyway, life has been beyond crazy lately, what with studying for the MTELs, the light food poisoning that prevented me from taking said MTELs, finals, a wake, a week in NH, helping Ali and friends move, and starting a new semester today....sheer madness.

I'm about to crash right now thanks to the longest day evaaaaa, but I promise I will give you guys a nice, juicy post tomorrow after I get my NEW COMPUTER!!! Still not sure if I'm rolling with the macbook or the macbook pro, but I guess I still have a few hours to have a life crisis about it.

Until then, I just want to say that the ending to tonight's Gossip Girl was incredible. I watched it over at Anna and Melissa'a apartment because we had man situations to discuss (more on that tomorrow night - promise) and I literally screamed out loud when Chuck Bass did the unthinkable and <SPOILER ALERT> told Blair he loved her! FINALLY! Now we all know that I am approximately 25% sentimental/loving and 75% judgmental bitch, but when it comes to Chuck and Blair? Well, I am a hopeless ball of mush. I've been rooting for those two crazy kids all season!

Full disclosure: I've been rooting for them because I am totes in love with CB and secretly believe I was BDubs in another life.

If you're like me, and you can't wait until next season for more Chuck and Blair action, then check out this newly discovered website dedicated to all things C & B: http://blairandchuck.com/

Alright, discuss amongst yourselves and I'll be back tomorrow night with a full length incredible life update, movie and photo filled post!!!

XOXO - Christine

Chuck Bass + Me = Unrequited Love

I love Chuck Bass, and therefore cannot get enough of this newly discovered Tumblr blog regarding his incredible taste. I also love it because all of the captions are things that I can see my mildly gay and epically fashion conscious ex-boyfriend saying. You know, the ex who once asked me how it felt to be fucking the future leader of the free world? While wearing dog tags from Tiffany? Yeah, that one.

Here's my favorite (and most MGE-ish) excerpt thus far:

“I am so uncomfortable right now, I can barely even focus on my surprisingly tasteful and understated grey suit (not to mention the baller timepiece I’m sporting). I mean, I love making her jealous, but even for me - Chuck. Bass. - this is a little low. Rubbing elbows with the proletariat low. I bet that bracelet is from Hot Topic. God, I am so uncomfortable right now.”

Enjoy!

XOXO - Christine

Like a BOSS.

Sorry bunnies, but I'm still a little too beat to get into posting about everything that went down this past weekend...but to make up it up to you, here's the newest video from The Lonely Island! If you don't know, The Lonely Island is the group responsible for such hits as, "Jizz in My Pants," "I'm on a Boat," and "Dick in a Box." I've included all three of those videos below, just in case you've been living under a rock for the past few years and haven't seen them all yet. You guys should definitely check out their album; it's called, "Incredibad," and is actually incredibly funny.

The latest video is called "Like a Boss." Enjoy!


"I'm on a Boat," featuring the always comical T-Pain:


"Jizz in My Pants," featuring some sweet celebrity cameos:


"Dick in a Box," featuring J. Timbers:


I hope you guys liked all of those! I have to say, I can't wait to play, "I'm on a Boat," when I'm actually on my boat this summer. Favorite line: "I never thought I'd be on a boat, it's a big blue watery road..." I also enjoy the reference to the nautical themed pashmina afghan and T-Pain's occasional "Mothafuckaa" contributions. "Like a Boss," is also pretty solid and I love the transition from normal boss business ("Promote synergy - like a BOSS") to the completely ridiculous ("Call a sex line, cry deeply, demand a refund").

God I love Andy Samberg.

That's it for now, more to come tomorrowish.

XOXO - Christine

Dear Gossip Girl

Heyyy bunnies!!!

I hope you all had spectacular weekends and that your Mondays weren't totally dull! We rolled in from Derby around 5AM this morning, so I am BEAT. I plan on posting all about the weekend's antics tomorrow, but for now, I will leave you with this fabulous video from the Southern Mothers. It's a Gossip Girl tribute video, and came out a while ago, but Jenn and I are sitting in the apartment with our eyes glued to the latest episode, so I thought it'd be appropriate. Enjoy!



XOXO - Christine